And yet I hear over and over again that the point of playing a unique race is to have a unique character, based on the argument that Player Characters are unique and unusual already. What is that, if not "letting your freak flag fly"?
But—shock and horror!—not every fantasy game belongs to a genre where it would be appropriate for the main adventuring party to be the medieval equivalent of the Doom Patrol. Sometimes you just want a game where the heroes are kind of ordinary, and Frodo, Garion, Ged, and Taran strike out into the world to go be big damn heroes.
Dunno who's telling you it's about playing a "unique" race and having a "unique" character. For the vast majority of people who like these things, it's simply, "I really like X." Exactly as I said earlier in the thread. You have leaped from "person wants to play a thing I, Jack Daniel, don't consider 'normal' for fantasy" to "person must want to play something SUPER ULTRA SPECIAL," and from there to "you must want to fly your freak flag." That's both a pretty serious leap, and
nothing whatsoever like why this sort of thing matters to me.
I like dragons. I like martially-inclined races that aren't allergic to magic, strategy/tactics, and "refined"/civic-culture tastes. (Despite my pacifist leanings IRL and with most chars I play; as Sun Tzu would put it, "It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted with the evils of war who can thoroughly understand how to profit from waging war.") I like charisma, diplomacy, and leadership. I like aspirations toward nobility and a truly just society, where leaders know that respect is
earned rather than
given and all know that trust must be sown before it will grow. I like sorcery, the idea of
feeling power flowing through your veins and of magic that is a creative exercise of the will (even though IRL I'm
way more like a Wizard, all precision, logic, formulae, and diagrams).
Dragonborn, and the Arkhosian culture articulated for them in 4e, hit
pretty much every single one of those buttons. They're great as Paladins, Sorcerers, Fighters, and Warlords (and in 13th Age, they're also great Monks, which is neat). Their religious leanings (Bahamut, my favorite deity) and cultural heritage (a lost society of lofty ideals and great refinement in a variety of fields) are right up my alley, as is their association with History, a skill I've always valued because it lets me dig into the sweet, sweet lore of a world.
It literally has
not one single thing to do with being weird, freaky, monstrous, whatever. It has everything to do with them being
dragon-people, who have a cool cultural heritage, avoid a trope I really really hate (Proud Warrior Race = Dumb And Ugly Race), and are good at things I like (Paladins and Sorcerers mostly, but also Warlords, Fighters, and Monks). So saying that I do it to "fly my freak flag high"? Especially when I've
already said more than half of the above? Yeah, it doesn't come across as "you do you," it comes across as ignoring any possible value non-Tolkienesque races might have
other than being "weird"/"freaky"/"furry role-play."
When someone argues, "I can't do that thing because it would disrupt the flavor of the world I've built," pointing out that several well-known settings have
reinforced their flavor by including things that weren't necessarily available in them originally, or that were but were implemented very differently, is a perfectly cromulent response. It is not merely an abstract assertion, but a concrete demonstration that a DM's "vision"
doesn't need to be threatened by such things. Dray (Athasian dragonborn--whom I don't find
as compelling...but it's hard to argue with "playable dragon-person," dragons are just too cool!) and
drakatha (the dragonborn of Eberron, from Argonnessen) are both examples from settings that definitely AREN'T just kitchen sinks that definitely always include 100% of everything no matter what, and which have long and serious in-world history.
If, on the other hand, the DM has banned gnomes because they don't want that particular cluster of modifiers and abilities to be an option available to the players, reskinning is hardly a remedy.
If the
only reason is "I don't like the stats gnomes have," well honestly that's kind of a weird stance because gnomes in 5e aren't all that powerful but surely then the issue ISN'T the flavor and reskinning can be applied in the other direction, e.g. "Well then, can I play a character that looks and behaves like a gnome, but has halfling stats?" If it's somehow BOTH "I hate anything even remotely like gnome aesthetics" AND "no you can't have gnome stats, they're busted," it doesn't sound to me like it's the
player who's being kinda tool-y here.
But I will say that if, after having learned that gnomes are banned in the campaign, a player's first instinct is to try and play a gnome, and their second instinct is to try and play a reskinned gnome, they're being more than a bit of a tool.
Like...seriously? For absolute realsies? Someone at least
trying to meet you in the middle--offering to adapt the character as necessary, or find some alternative solution that satisfies their interest without running afoul of the DM's preferences--means "being more than a
bit of a tool" to you?
I honestly have no idea how to respond to that. You have literally just demonstrated what I spoke of earlier, that some folks will
refuse to have an adult conversation about it.
Which raises the question—are you postulating a player who comes to the table with a gnome character already in mind (or even on paper), before the DM has explained the particulars of the campaign? Because that isn't the interaction I've been talking about.
Why does it matter?
Why should it matter if the player says, "Hey, I know you said gnomes aren't whitelisted for this game, but I'd really like to play one. Can we talk about it?" WHY is that a bad thing? I just cannot understand how it is
offensive to you for someone to express genuine interest in something that isn't officially greenlit, and thus investigate what options might be had to find a compromise. This is exactly what those of us who raise our eyebrows at talk of DMs being the "Ultimate Authority," Capitalization Included, are skeptical of--people who turn even the
idea of discussion into a reason to be offended or kick the player out!