Let me be clear that I am in no way approving of the male way of acting. I consider myself to be a "front-line feminist" - i.e. I deal with this problem every day. The *reality* is that more men game than women and more men do computer science than women. Therefore, the prevailing social norms are that of men. If you want to play, unfortunately, sometimes you have to play by their rules (at least until you can engineer games or social circles that meet your needs better).
I disagree with this you do not have to play by their rules. If the group is mature enough then everybody bends a little to be accommodating so that every one enjoys themselves. I get so sick of the idea that if a woman wants to play in the boys game she has to totally be the one to change. Bull if the guys want her in the game then they will do a little bending if needed. And if they don't then move on you don't need that kind of headache.
I think a lot of what is being said is just differences in how men and woman communicate. I play in a group with five guys and one other woman. And there are times that the need to debate everything drives me crazy sometimes I join in and othertimes I let it go in one ear and out the other.
I have also learned that if you want to play with guys you have to have a thick skin because a lot of them have no tact whatever. What's on their minds comes out their mouths they say things that woman won't say to you unless they are being catty. With the guys they are usaully not trying to be hurtful just funny.
And for talking about feelings most guys no matter how well adjusted tend to retreat from this subject. I speak from experiance I was having a rough time with things going on in the group and no matter what I said all they did was debate me or tell me I was not logical. I was ready to walk out. I gave one last try and in a non emotional way explained what was wrong and came up with solutions. Things are better now, but the interesting thing was that they talked about it among themselves never discussed it with me, but things got better.
If you are having trouble in your gaming group take an honest look at yourself and at waht is going on. And remember this is supposed to be fun if it is not move on.