My shortest-lived character was a wild mage. This was back in 2e, not too terribly long after the Tome of Magic came out.
We were starting a fairly standard 1st level FR game. I decided to try a wild mage, as they looked interesting. He ended up pretty nice - a gold elf wild mage with nice stats and an interesting background.
The adventure was a standard "Oh, no! Orcs!" type of thing. The party encountered a band of them on the road, and we started to fight. I cast my Magic Missile at the leader... and surged.
Gnar. First spell, and I roll a wild surge. Not a promising beginning. We roll it, and the result is "Caster polymorphs randomly." Not good. The DM rolled on a chart - I believe it was the old reincarnation chart, and I polymorphed into a chipmunk. In 2e, you had to make a system shock roll when polymorphed, to see if you survive. I made that, but then the DM ruled that it was an involuntary polymorph, like a Polymorph Other, so I had to roll a save to keep my intelligence.
One natural one later, my character runs off into the forest, never to be seen again.
I like to think that he lived a happy and productive life... for a chipmunk.