So, you:
Don't want to let your players into your home
Don't want to play in any of their homes becasue you need "control"
Demand a third-party location that also gives you complete privacy
These are pretty stiff criteria. I can understand the desire to be protective of your family, as I'm married myself. Good gaming, however, requires a certain degree of trust. To be honest, I'd probably be a bit suspicious of someone who *asked me* to join their group, but then refused to let me in their house. That would make me think that the group would end up being fairly impersonal and uncomfortable, and I can't have fun in that sort of environment.
You make it sound so much more sinister and psychotic than I meant. A new game group is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get.
"Don't want to let your players into your home." That's not what I said nor meant. For the first couple of game sessions, everyone will be strangers. And I'm not keen on bringing in a half-dozen strangers to my home and family. (What if one or more is really weird psycho? We've all met those kinds, right. This isn't a Tupperware party I'm getting together.) But even after we are all friends and comfortable with each other, I just don't want to
game in my home. My two-year old goes to bed at 8pm. Imagine the difficulty of his bedtime with a bunch of guys (probably all guys) hanging out. My house is not so big that the wings are seperated by soundproof walls. Gaming outside my home is just being polite to my wife, and responsible to my toddler.
"Don't want to play in any of their homes becasue you need 'control'." I've started a few game groups in my gaming career. There is always at least one new player who just doesn't fit in and needs to be "dismissed". Playing at a player's house means I (the DM) have to clear everything with the host. What if a jackhole player that I need to eject is the host's best friend? Or the host is the jackhole? Until a group is established and the roster is settled, I like to have control of the Real World setting. Prevents a lot of problems that can crop up.
"Demand a third-party location that also gives you complete privacy." I would say "prefer" rather than "demand". So I don't want to play in the middle of a restaraunt, or a library, or a comic book shop?
The main thing is just that I want to start the game (for a couple or three sessions) on at least neutral ground. In the past I've started groups in my home, but now family comfort has precedence over gaming comfort.
Thanks to everyone for your suggestions and ideas.
Quasqueton