Why can't you be prepared for a game session

[Gwaihir]

I'll chip my pennies into this.

I'm the DM (with 2 small children and MBA classes & Job) and I still procrastinate away the little free time I have, and still come into many sessions less prepared than I could be. We only play once a month due to time constraints & other responsibilities so I don't wing it nearly as much as I once did when we were playing weekly.

the truth is that during Jr High and High School, I loved game prepping so much I would prep stuff that would never ever get used. Now its just the opposite, I love game time, but the prep time less.

that said, While I concur with many on this thread who point out that is just a game, I also understand Bullgrits frustration -- we have a player who in 8 years of playing has probably done like 15 minutes of character prep/thinking away from the table. Still he comes and has fun every time...

 

[SweeneyTodd]

It's a courtesy issue -- weighing ten minutes of your free time vs. ten minutes of the whole group's time, and deciding anyway not to update your character sheet until the start of the next session. But not everybody will see it that way.

Our group gets together for about 3 1/2 hours once a week, and the first half-hour to hour is always spent having conversations, getting game materials organized, etc. I don't think of it as wasted time, because these are friends and we're socializing. (I don't really have much interest in playing with people I'm not friends with, any more than I'd want to, say, go bowling with them every week.)

Although I tell you the biggest thing that made me stop being a martyr about being GM -- moving to systems where I only had to do an hour or so of prep a week.

 

[Rel]

It's a courtesy issue -- weighing ten minutes of your free time vs. ten minutes of the whole group's time, and deciding anyway not to update your character sheet until the start of the next session.

This to me is precisely the issue here and I'm honestly a bit baffled at some of the responses to this thread.

Almost every day we see a thread on this forum about a player who "takes forever on his turn in combat". Why does that bother people? Simple: They are taking up everybody's time, not just their own. Helpful advice for how to speed that person up floods in from ever corner but you rarely see many posters saying, "Well, he just likes to take his time so you should lay off and let him."

I understand that some players are going to be more into the game and some less. That's expected and fine. I don't expect everybody to paint minis and craft cool terrain and write character journals and stuff like that. But I DO expect them to put in the very small effort in terms of book keeping that goes along with updating their character sheet. I feel that doing less than that is disrespectful to me and everyone else in the game who are sitting there waiting to get started while they frantically say, "Wait! Wait! I just need to pick which feat I'm going to take and I'll be ready!"

 

[clark411]

What eats up your time so much that prevents you from being fully ready at the game table each session? How is it that I, with two young children (that require a ton of attention), can find time to prepare for a game as a DM, but you can't find 5 minutes to update your character sheet, or 10 minutes to read a rule, or 30 minutes to paint a mini (if you want the mini painted), or 5 minutes to ensure you have everything you need for the game session?

I think the short of it is that I, the player, do not care about your game as much as you do. That's at least one reason.


I've seen players email each other back n forth like crazy if something really gets their attention, or redo their character three times and be all hooray! about the next session- I've seen the same players act just as you describe when they aren't that into what's going on. As a DM, the game is always on my mind because I'm running it. When it's on their minds, I know I'm running it right. When it's not on their mind, it means their life is getting in the way, they're tired of it (player burnouts / slumps), or it's a clear indication that I need to find out what would make them enjoy the game more and do what I can to make adjustments.

Really, there's no excuse for 5 minutes of work on their own time. If they'd rather do just about anything other than do stuff for a game, it means that they're really more interested in watching paint dry... and that's not good.

Alternatively- there are people who are just "Gaming time is for Gaming" and leave it all in their backpack / gaming-bag, etc. I know i can fairly easily leave all my sheets in the trunk, and be raring to go come gameday. If for them, it's a once a week escape, then I'd really just leave it be. 5 minutes.. so what?

 

[Agback]

a DM has 10 times more stuff to do than the players. I create monsters, create locations, paint minis, draw maps, etc.

There are ways to GM that require much less effort, you know. Back when I was running an adventure of some sort five sessions a week I could prep an adventure in fifteen minutes. Not using D&D, of course.

 

[SweeneyTodd]

I think the short of it is that I, the player, do not care about your game as much as you do. That's at least one reason.

See, that's true in so many games, but man, my life has been better since I got rid of that assumption.

I'm blessed with players who do as much prep for a session (in terms of coming up with plans and future complications) as I do. Again, though, it helps that we're rules-light, so I only need to prep an hour or two a week.

I think part of it is the way traditional RPGs are set up. If the GM's already got to do four hours of work (along a preprepared plotline), and you're just going to be following that plotline, why should you care as much as they do?

 

[Threedub]

I've seen the "didn't have time" attitude again and again over the years. Given the short amount of time it takes to level up a character, the real reason isn't about not having time, it's about not caring about other people's time.

If they arrive a little late then have to spend 15-20 minutes to advance, then you lost about 1/8th of your playing time for a 4hr game. Meanwhile, other people start BSing and it usually takes a few minutes to let conversations run their course so you can start the game. I've found that the people that aren't prepared to game are usually the ones unprepared in life--basically disorganized in general.

If you don't have time to come prepared, then you don't have time to game--retire from the hobby until you can get your house in order.

 

[Vamprey]

Because those of us who are single and have no kids have different priorities. We have different things (similar to which you may have sacrificed for your children) that may occupy the same amount (or more) time than your children do for you, but are of equal importance to us (this includes wasting time trying to get in the same position as yourself).

Or we could all just be lazy

 

[Agback]

Almost every day we see a thread on this forum about a player who "takes forever on his turn in combat". Why does that bother people? Simple: They are taking up everybody's time, not just their own.

Spot on.

The same is true of arriving late. Sure, you may have important to do which is simply more valuable to you than gaming. But I don't think you have the right to force other people to give up their time to your priorities.

I understand that some players are going to be more into the game and some less. That's expected and fine. I don't expect everybody to paint minis and craft cool terrain and write character journals and stuff like that. But I DO expect them to put in the very small effort in terms of book keeping that goes along with updating their character sheet. I feel that doing less than that is disrespectful to me and everyone else in the game who are sitting there waiting to get started while they frantically say, "Wait! Wait! I just need to pick which feat I'm going to take and I'll be ready!"

I agree entirely. Which is why I am so ashamed that at the last session I played in, it was I who was not ready on time (and ended up playing the session short a feat and short 5 skill points because I was in too much of a hurry to go through character generation properly. And our major encounter was just tight enough in the end that I think that if I had generated my character properly we might not have lost an important NPC.

I did badly, I let my team down, and I feel bad about it. There's nothing to do about it now but to live it down, and to remember, next time I am prioritising charcter generation and getting to a game on time, that my decisions impose my priorities on other people without their permission.

 

[BlackSilver]

I am a lot like you Bull in that I am ready to play when I sit down at the table (as it were), however more often then I would like to admit I have worked to many hours during the week, volunteered to much, school work, teaching, and other life chores.

FWIW- you said that GMs have ten times as much to do as Players, I disagree, that number is more like a hundred times more to do. Players have it easy with regards to showing up and preparing for the game.