Why do women send mixed signals?

[Obryn]

Ok, I'll try and do some of those things that TB and others have said. But I could just be saying so and telling a little lie to make all you people happy. But thats OK becuse thats how soicety works.

AS or not, you play the martyr like a pro!

Look, Ken - when you started this thread you asked "Why do women send mixed signals?" It's the friggin subject line. Many people have given you reasons and answers, and it's even become clear that some of these "mixed signals" are your psychological condition causing you to misinterpret words and actions.

But even now - when your question has been answered (repeatedly) you're choosing to deny the world, claim everyone else's life is somehow less by not accepting you for who you are, and sulking.

If you don't want the advice - if you're happy to be who you are, alone and feeling like everyone in the world constantly betrays you by not following through and by not being Kant-like in their honesty, then fine. Just say so. But don't post threads like this if you aren't prepared to have your assumptions, worldview, and lifestyle challenged.

-O

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

I had to learn to walk again at 23. I was hit by a car. AS is on the Autism spectrm. It is a known medical disability. So I consider myself a social retard, since I'm labeled with the retards.

AWWWW!!! Poor baby!

I was shot to dog-crap, 6 penetrations from shrapnel and bullets. Guess what, I had to learn to walk too. And feed myself. And read. And talk. And write. And to compensate for no longer having stereoscopic vision.

So I feel no damn sympathy.

Try another card, mine trumps it.

Now you're doing the "Everyone says I'm a retard, so I must be."

No, what you are acting like now, in this thread, is a spoiled baby who isn't getting what they want, so they are throwing a fit.

Yeah, you've got to conform to society at least on some level, or be labeled a freak. ALL OF US have to do that, not just you. God did not get up in the morning and pick on you. You're acting like the same whiners who were in physical therapy with me, the ones who chose to first whine that they couldn't do it, that it hurt, then whined when I was walking and they were still damn near immobile. You either confrom, or be an outsider. So you don't like society, but here you are snivelling that you aren't part of it, then claiming your superior to everyone in the society you hate. Well, which is it, are you happy being an outsider, or do you want to be able to have normal relationships with someone else who isn't a bigger freak than you?

Yeah, it's a bonifide disability, your Assperger's Syndrome, but guess what, THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT! and they learn to get along, how to conform, how to fit in, how to run stealth, in today's society. It doesn't make you God's Special Little Snowflake and automatically make you right. It makes you SLIGHTLY handicapped and even then, only in certian situations. You aren't wearing a brain bucket or screaming out profanity. You're just a social lead brick, with no grace or style. Waaaah. I see those all the time when I go to the mall, and I see them at the club dressed like it's 1975 and doing the robot.

It's BORDERLINE autism. Hell, under the original classification of autism, you'd get smacked across the back of the head, told you were fine, and sent home. You ain't got it bad, since you're able to understand the rules of an internet board.

Make up your mind, do you want assitance, or do you want to complain and make excuses?

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

As I see it, if I take the advice and comform, I become like the people in society I don't like. But if I don't, i'm still labeled a freak by most people. And you wonder why people like me don't like to go out and socialize?

Because it's easier to whine and expect everyone to make excuses for you than to work on the problem?

I read this thread about 3 times, often rereading the last posts to make sure I have the gist of what is going on, and I have to say, the excuses, martyr positionings, and attempts to generate sympathy are having the opposite, at least for me.

I don't see someone who wants to fight and overcome a disability, I see someone who wants to wallow in it and get sympathy, and is now angry/frustrated they aren't getting it.

Why do women lie? Because they have what you want.

 

[Morpheus]

In reading the whole of this thread, I am reminded of the quote fromIndiana Jones and the Last Crusade, "I (He) chose poorly."

 

[The Traveler]

AS is on the Autism spectrm. It is a known medical disability. So I consider myself a social retard, since I'm labeled with the retards.

Far less of what you have described in this thread is Asperger's than you think, and people who suffer from Asperger's can integrate into society without losing that special spark of what makes them unique.

I am someone who has been very stubborn towards suggestions that I be medicated, and to this day I am still not medicated. I recognize that different things work for different people, and I have acknowledged that my not wanting to be medicated is a personal issue rather than any real danger.

Still, I have seen people who flourish under medication, and they take the exact opposite opinion. They aren't different people because of medication. Rather, medication allows them to express who they were all along.

 

[devilbat]

And you wonder why people like me don't like to go out and socialize?

After reading your posts in this thread, I don't wonder why people like you refuse to leave the house.

You wallow in your misery with great joy. You blame God, because he's the only one who won't argue with you. Your expectations of society are unrealistic and idealistic. You refuse to recognize the advice of others, even when asking for answers (see page 1, post 1) and when unable to discuss your thoughts in a clear and precise manner, you revert to sarcasm.

I'm quite happy people like that tend to stay in their comfort zone, and out of my world.

 

[I'm A Banana]

As I see it, if I take the advice and comform, I become like the people in society I don't like. But if I don't, i'm still labeled a freak by most people. And you wonder why people like me don't like to go out and socialize?

I'm not telling you to conform, at least. I'm telling you to let go of your anger and your hurt and let people make mistakes. That's not changing anything about you other than your insistance that everyone jump through your hoops to be close to you, because for most of the world, for most of humanity, it's not going to be worth it, it's going to be impossible, and that will leave you alone.

People change, man. At least if they have any sort of healthy, living, breathing existence, they change, because the world isn't a one-size-fits-all kind of place.

Another newsflash: You are like the people in society that you don't like. You are exactly them. You are a human being with wants, needs, quirks, motives, and mistakes all your own. You are judgemental, narrowminded, unforgiving, petty, and egotistical about it. Just like the rest of the world.

The only thing that makes you different as far as I can tell is that you can't stomach the thought of letting someone "get away with" doing something to you that you don't like. And that's pretty childish.

You seem to know that what's going on right now is not a place that you're happy staying in, and that's good. So take the next step. Ease up.

I'm quite happy people like that tend to stay in their comfort zone, and out of my world.

I'm not! Comfort zones EXIST to be violated, challenged, and mistreated. No one should be comfortable for long, 'cuz the world's changing around you!

 

[Aethelstan]

My son has high functioning autism so initially I felt some sympathy toward Ken. But as this thread progressed and Ken's post grew increasing egoistically and self-deluded, sympathy turned to something boardering on rage. Every day my son struggles to engage in basic human inteaction. He often can not bring himself to talk to others and when he does his comments are often odd or inappropreate. Yet, despite his disability (which is far more profound that Ken's), he makes an real effort to connect with people. He greets friends, asks people about their favorite things and makes a point of learning the birthday of everyone he meets (he has savant abilities with names and dates and can tell you what day your birthday falls on up to 15 years in the future or past). However, Ken, who has intellectual abilities far beyond my son's, can not be bothered with any of these simple courtesies because 99.9% of humanity (or every living person but him) are, in his unshakable opinion, all lying fakes. I would give my left eye to give my son even half the communitive skill Ken has. My son will never have a girlfriend, never marry. But Ken has the gaul to whine about how his AS makes it hard for him to get a sex partner he doesn't have to pay for. He has the mental abilities and basic, if limited, social skills to successfully interact with women. He understands how AS hinders his sex buddy search but willfully chooses to make not the slightest effort to change the way he relates with others (i.e. the lying fakes). Ken raises the shield of AS in a pathetic and self-serving attempt to fend off the pointed barbs he so richly deserves. My son, who struggles to pull himself form his own inner world, shows more concern for and interest in his fellow humans than bitter, self-absorbed Ken, the AS martyr.
How dare he use autism to gain sympathy for a lonely and pathetic existence which is of his own making!

 

[Mercule]

As I see it, if I take the advice and comform, I become like the people in society I don't like.

Actually, you're missing the point 100%. I don't give a rat's butt if you conform. You sounded like you wanted advice on how to get a shot at a decent relationship with a decent woman. Such advice was given.

Cold hard truth, since you say it's what you value: You are a mass of electrons to pretty much everyone here. Whether or not you ever get a date again is entirely academic to me. However, I have some ability to pretend and empathize, so I give advice. If you take it, you may get what I thought you wanted. If you don't, it makes no difference to me.

As someone with AS, I'm sure the emotional soothing of pity or sympathy is of little value to you. Therefore, you must have wanted a solution. If you fail to act on the advice you received, it is only your fault. But that's okay because only you are effected.

 

[Pbartender]

Aethelstan, I'm in the same boat...

It's BORDERLINE autism.

It's hardly even that. My seven year old son is a high-functioning autistic. With the help of family, friends and teachers, he's learning to live with it, and is far, far more functional than most autistics. He has lots friends, most of whom are girls... His entire kindergarten class came to his birthday party this year. They ask after him, when he's home sick from school.

Now, my seven-year-old autistic son can snag himself a dozen girlfriends within a year without even trying... what's your excuse, again?

Quit your complaining and do something about the problem, or quit your complaining and don't. Either way, quit your complaining. Your troubles are by no means insurmountable.