Wierdest Thing at the Game Table

[DonTadow]

I just got through playing/co-dming a game where one of the players fought hard to be a wilderness rogue whom has a dog. She didn't want an ordinary dog because the ordinary dog in the phb did not fit the breed she wanted. So I gave her a riding dog.
Everyone was freaked out Friday when, as we were playing, the DM made a comment, to which the player digged into her bag and brought out this huge Kennel dog book about the breed (300 pg). She proceded to read page references about the dogs description and how it must act in game because this is how that breed acts.

How me and the other DM reacted is another story, but I'm curious as to if any body else's players ever brought out something super wierd at a game table during game.

This tops the time one of the players broke out his baby picture album to flirt with one of the female players.

 

[WayneLigon]

Well, I'd probably ask her to borrow the book and read it myself rather than hear disjointed readings while we're trying to enjoy the game, and then incorporate what if any game-able info I could. I'd appreciate she took the time to find the info, and that she was so interested in the character and campaign to do so.

It would annoy me a little, but hardly freak me out unless you just couldn't shut her up and she began to make demands about how the dog would act.

 

[Vorput]

I have a player who's making it a point to sometime this week go out and buy a stuffed parrot...

See... he's playing a Swashbuckler, going for Dread Pirate, who owns a parrot...

I also had a PC once who owned a pink fluffy dice bag, with frills, and lace and everything... forget where she got it.

 

[Hussar]

THe only strange thing at my gaming table is the players.

 

[Shemeska]

How me and the other DM reacted is another story, but I'm curious as to if any body else's players ever brought out something super wierd at a game table during game.

I had a player take out a vibrator in the middle of a game and start using it... on their sore back.

Yes. A vibrator.

The game comes to a dead stop and silence fills the room punctuated only by a soft electric whirr and buzz.

The offending player looked up at everyone.

"What?" They said, completely oblivious.

"DUDE! THAT'S A BLOODY SEX TOY!" One other player blurts out.

"Huh?" The offending player replied. "It's a back massager..."

"Maybe that's what they call them in Alabama dude..." I say, openly giggling.

The player looks at their toy, looks back at us, and apparently realizes that yes indeed we're right, and perhaps it -did- in fact come in some funny packaging when they bought it. They blushed terribly and stuffed it back in their backpack.

"For the love of God, let us never speak of this again." Another player says.

Most of us are having trouble breathing at this point because the player with the bullet vibe had no bloody idea that that was what he had, that it wasn't in fact a 'back massager'.

And that ladies and gentlemen was the wierded thing ever taken out in one of my games.

 

[bodhi]

And that ladies and gentlemen was the wierded thing ever taken out in one of my games.

Clearly, you win.

 

[Xombie Master]

Wierdest Thing at the Game Table

Me.

 

[DonTadow]

she began to make demands about how the dog would act.

Essentially the last part of your statement is what happened. When the DM wasnt going for it she began to "role play" the npc dog herself. Mechanics wise, the animal was only trained to do six tricks but she insisted that the breed was already trained to do other tricks in real life ala super dog. What freaked us out was that she had sticky note page references for things. I thought it'd be a problem but I didn't know it would be this big a problem.

 

[Tinner]

We had one player years ago who was known for these kinds of things.
He was a great players, and a great uy, but he was ... odd.

Strange things he whipped out at game included:

Bizarre foreign pornography - really, really, REALLY weird stuff. The kind of stuff they make bad jokes about.

Weapons - nunchuks, ornate daggers, crossbows. He never weilded them, or gave anyone the impression he was dangerous. It was all very casual. He was a collector, and enjoyed showing off his new acquisitions. Still it was ... odd.

Bones - he had an amazing collection of animal bones. Skulls, leg bones, everything. Again, not grisly, or menacing in any way. He hunted and did taxidermy, and was genuinely fascinated with bones. Like I said ... odd.

Bootleg videotapes - This was prior to the real internet boom we have now. You couldn't just fire up kazaa and download dozens of bootlegs. Somehow he got ahold of loads of bootlegs, movies, TV shows, foreign films, odd dubs and director's cuts no one had ever heard of. He had a lot of fan edits too. I recall a Star Wars short from overseas that had a few nude scenes added. Did I mention how odd this guy was?

Psychotic women - This guy was no great catch. Not a looker by any stretch of the imagination, but he never had any shortage of female companionship. However, these women were all universally insane. There was one who did nothing but sit passively in his lap. They didn't talk, make out or anything. She just sat in his lap, arms around his neck the whole night. There was at least one screaming stalker who would randomly show up (how she found him I'll never know) and stand outside the windows calling his name. Not angry AFAIK, jus desperate to see him. He'd usually go calm her down and she'd be fine for a few weeks, then come rolling back for more. And all these women were just strange looking. One was pierced all over. Another had too many tattoos. Then there were the ones with the crazy eyes ... these were a little creepy.

He finally moved away. Last I heard he had married some woman and settled down. Supposedly works for the government now. Odd.

 

[Bloodsparrow]

It's not so much things that are weird at the table while you game. It's the kind of stuff that doesn't get properly cleared away after the game that's kind of odd.

For instance, several years ago I was living in a house with some friends and I once came down for breakfast to find a rubber severed arm sitting on a platter in the middle of the kitchen table.