Demmero
Explorer
Well, I’ve been away from EN World for a while and haven’t posted anything in ages, but I’ve been trying to keep busy. I’ve (nearly) finished the initial draft of my first humor-heavy fantasy novel, but while I was writing that I also came up with what might be the worst D&D joke ever.
This may go right over the heads of the younger pups here, but EN World’s village elders (over 40) will probably recognize the pop culture reference that the whole joke is based upon.*
Without further ado, allow me to present what may well be...THE WORST D&D JOKE EVER.
A paladin and a gold dragon agreed to team up to stop the depredations of a trio of wicked hags, all of whom, strangely enough, were named Valorie. While the paladin waited at a local tavern, the dragon flew off on a scouting mission over a nearby marshy forest, the domain of the green hag of the covey. A few hours later, the dragon—in the guise of a blond-haired human—strolled into the pub, grinning from ear to ear. He ordered two mugs of beer at the bar and carried them to the table where the paladin sat, placing one before the holy warrior.
“I bring good tidings,” the dragon reported. “Not only did I find the green hag’s hut but I also caught her unawares. I swooped in and gobbled her up before she even realized I was there. She tasted surprisingly good.”
The paladin blinked in amazement. “Do you know what this means?” he asked the dragon excitedly. “You’ve made our quest infinitely easier! Without their sister, the powers of the two remaining hags will be greatly diminished!”
“Yeah, now they’ve got a third less Valories than their regular covey!” the dragon concurred. “That’s nice and all, but the best part to me is that hag meat really tastes great!”
The paladin glared at the dragon, shook his head, and slammed his mug down on the table. “Less villains!” he growled.
The disguised dragon slammed down his own mug and snarled, “Tastes great!”
“Less villains!”
“Tastes great!”
“Less villains!”
“Tastes great!”
*Upon further review, you’d probably have to be an American, too, as I doubt TV beer ads featuring American football stars were beamed outside the USA, though Rodney Dangerfield was in a few of them as well.
This may go right over the heads of the younger pups here, but EN World’s village elders (over 40) will probably recognize the pop culture reference that the whole joke is based upon.*
Without further ado, allow me to present what may well be...THE WORST D&D JOKE EVER.
A paladin and a gold dragon agreed to team up to stop the depredations of a trio of wicked hags, all of whom, strangely enough, were named Valorie. While the paladin waited at a local tavern, the dragon flew off on a scouting mission over a nearby marshy forest, the domain of the green hag of the covey. A few hours later, the dragon—in the guise of a blond-haired human—strolled into the pub, grinning from ear to ear. He ordered two mugs of beer at the bar and carried them to the table where the paladin sat, placing one before the holy warrior.
“I bring good tidings,” the dragon reported. “Not only did I find the green hag’s hut but I also caught her unawares. I swooped in and gobbled her up before she even realized I was there. She tasted surprisingly good.”
The paladin blinked in amazement. “Do you know what this means?” he asked the dragon excitedly. “You’ve made our quest infinitely easier! Without their sister, the powers of the two remaining hags will be greatly diminished!”
“Yeah, now they’ve got a third less Valories than their regular covey!” the dragon concurred. “That’s nice and all, but the best part to me is that hag meat really tastes great!”
The paladin glared at the dragon, shook his head, and slammed his mug down on the table. “Less villains!” he growled.
The disguised dragon slammed down his own mug and snarled, “Tastes great!”
“Less villains!”
“Tastes great!”
“Less villains!”
“Tastes great!”
*Upon further review, you’d probably have to be an American, too, as I doubt TV beer ads featuring American football stars were beamed outside the USA, though Rodney Dangerfield was in a few of them as well.
