Your Turing Test: Big "F"

[Dannyalcatraz]

Javol! Dieses ist Herr Stearns. Nicht habe ich die Polizei auf Geschwindigkeitsvorwahlknopf . Ya ist es unter 911.
Meine Katze hat Kätzchen. Nein, Nein Im Augenblick! Guten Abend!

Ich verstehen Sie! Und Ich lache hörbar!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Or maybe I'll use some of my favorite bits from TV.

Like saying "Kazziza my dilznoofuses!"

Or "I have Schweddy Balls."

 

[Mark CMG]

"What are you wearing?"

 

[Thunderfoot]

Elloya, Isthay isay Istermay Earnstay. Esya, Iya avehay aya ecuritysay estemsyay. Iya aveha ethay olicepay onya eedspay ialday. Esya, itsay underya inenay oneya oneya. Imay atcay isay avinhay ittenskay. Onay, onay, ightray ownay!.

Oodgay eyebay!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I so suck at speaking pig latin...but that would be fun too!

 

[Aeolius]

The last time I got a call from a questionable area code, I googled the number to discover it was a scam which would ask about my mortgage.

Sure enough, they called back. I answered the phone, they asked if I was the homeowner and I replied:

"Me? No. I'm just robbing this place."

 

[Bullgrit]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

or

Hastur! Hastur! Hastur! (or Beetlejuice)

I don't know if this is true or not, but since I heard it I always make an effort to curse while on hold. I doubt it really works, but it's fun to do.

Back in my college days, during one game night we decided to call Domino's pizza for dinner. One of my friends called, and got, "Domino's pizza. Can you hold please?" *put on hold* There was no delay between the request and putting on hold.

My friend, taken aback by the abrubtness of the hold, exclaimed, "Son of a b----!"

Then the call was cut off. We laughed about the timing.

I took the phone away from my friend and called Domino's back. "Domino's pizza. Can you hold please?" *put on hold* Again, there was no delay.

I gave an exaggerated shrug to express to everyone that I, too, had just been put on hold. We laughed a few seconds, and then I, trying to be funny, said, "Son of a b----." *dial tone*

That totally cracked us all up, and we just fell about the place. (Hungry nerds are easily entertained.)

Bullgrit

 

[Umbran]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

or

Hastur! Hastur! Hastur! (or Beetlejuice)

Ewige Blumenkraft! Fliegende Kinderschnitzel!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Today over lunch, Mom suggested I add a few "Sheenisms" to the mix...

I wonder what it will suggest after I tell it I have "tiger blood" or claim to be a "Vatican Assassin."

Or in a similar vein, maybe I'll just quote/paraphrase Gary Numan and David Bowie lyrics..."I've been putting out fire...with GASOLINE!!!"

Or

"Here in my house, I feel safest of all- I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live.
In house."

 

[MarkB]

Try asking it for some specific recommendations:

"What sort of mine-fields do you offer?"

"How about a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range?"

"Do you have any offers on trebuchets?"