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I'm going to be running The Giant's Skull module where the players do a one-shot as angry ogres invading a fortress full of humans. A lot of the fun in this adventure has to be playing evil -- throwing the puny humans around, squashing them, pulling their limbs off, et cetera. It needs to be fun and not disturbing, so I want to come up with funny deaths for everyone. So what can I make the humans say that will add to this? Stuff like "I can't feel my legs!" and the classic "Aieee!" Anybody got a list? "Don't eat me -- I'm scrawny!"
Gavin Ward - Male Human Warlord 1 - The party started a bar fight. The fellow who escaped brought his bandit buddies back and they killed Gavin (and nearly three other party members). He bled out while lying on the floor.
4th Ed Kills:
Spoiler:
Cornell Butterworth - Male Human Wizard 1 - Knocked unconscious by a kobold dragonshield the fighter ignored, then done in by the kobold wyrmpriest's acid breath.
Lithia - Female Elven Ranger 11 - Contracted mummy rot, which eventually did her in.
Brendan Stetlan - Male Human Fighter 4 - Knocked unconscious in combat, then thrown to the wolves.
Vindicator Mindartis Valenae - Eladrin Paladin 5 - Dropped by a githzerai monk (L6 elite), and killed when the rogue threw him off the balcony to try and get his body to safety.
Vongar - Male Dwarf Paladin 1 - Fell in battle after defeating Irontooth, but not his bodyguard.
Straef - Male Elf Ranger 1 - Fell in battle to Irontooth's Wyrmpriest.
(Marches up with bravado.)"YOU want a piece of ME?!" (voice cracks as he realizes how big the ogre is) "Do you want a piece" (sees ogre licking lips) "of me...eep!"
"Not everybody likes the same sort of games.
Everybody ought to play the sort of games they like.
It's not a stupid idea to sometimes try something you're not sure if you like or not.
Just because somebody likes or dislikes something you feel differently about doesn't make them (or you) stupid or a jerk.
Except Julie Andrews. If you dislike Julie Andrews, you're a jerk. And Golden Retriever puppies." --Barsoomcore
"There is a handsome and mysterious stranger in your future. He will try to kill you and take your stuff." --Sejs
You may have already thought of this but encourage the players to be silly: punting humans like footballs, using them as weapons, using them as puppets after they're dead. If they don't take the activity to be too serious it'll likely seem less grusome.
"I can't believe that after 25 winters, I'm finally retiring from the Watch tomorrow...me and the little lady have bought a boat, and come tomorrow, we sail off into the sunset sipping Mai Tai's. Here, take a look at this woodcut, ain't she a beaut'?....Arrrgh......"
__________________ Veronica: Where's your brother?
Dick: I think he took Ghost World up to his room. They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both, at the same time. They're both, like, 12th-level dorks. I'm just sayin'
I really love this one. Especially since all the soldier tokens I'm using have the exact same face.
Quote:
"I'm okay!"
WHOMP!
(feebly) "I'm still okay!"
This will be great for that time when the ogre inexplicably rolls a 1 on his first attack and I know he's going to hit on the second one.
Quote:
"I can't believe that after 25 winters, I'm finally retiring from the Watch tomorrow...me and the little lady have bought a boat, and come tomorrow, we sail off into the sunset sipping Mai Tai's. Here, take a look at this woodcut, ain't she a beaut'?....Arrrgh......"
If they end up using any stealth at all this is a conversation they are going to overhear.
Quote:
You may have already thought of this but encourage the players to be silly: punting humans like footballs, using them as weapons, using them as puppets after they're dead.
Puppets -- LOL. I know my players will do their part as far as humor goes -- the first thing that popped into one of their minds was doing Lenny from Of Mice and Men for a "she loves me; she loves me not" routine.
Actually, an invisible ogre mage trying to gain entrance to a fortress by walking an unconscious river warden up to the front gate like a puppet is a pretty good tactic! The dialogue at the gate would be hilarious.
Actually, an invisible ogre mage trying to gain entrance to a fortress by walking an unconscious river warden up to the front gate like a puppet is a pretty good tactic! The dialogue at the gate would be hilarious.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
__________________ Old School: It ain't what you play - it's how you play it.
"Other than the matter of me doing a good deal of extemperaneous creation in play sessions, I am not a paricularly notable Game Master " E.G.G.
Quoted from Sacred 2, the video Game :
"Dying within three days of my birthday"
"A Hole in my coat, the wife will Kill Me !"
plenty others in there, sadly the best aspect of the game I think.
" E.G.G.
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