Warrior Queen of Venus! - a Super-Galactic Space Rangers adventure
- A Super-Galactic Space Rangers adventure!
Starring:
Andor as David “Crash” Jones, Ace Pilot
Jkason as Sy Bergeron, Intrepid Explorer
Ghostcat as Percy Ambleton Smythe, Gentleman Investigator
With
CaBaNa as Abercrombie “Suicide” Bernard, Daring Photographer
and
Ethandrew as Dr Alowishus Ecks, Deranged Scientist
Introducing
Walking Dad as Tork, Throwback to a Lost World
__________________ New from The Lazy GM: Savage Creatures. 40 monsters, hundreds of stat blocks. The Lazy GM Series. Pre-generated monster stats for the discerning adventurer. The World of Conclave. Innovative (and free) webworld for d20.
The Basic Mechanic: Roll 2d6, add modifier. Beat difficulty or opposing roll
Typical Difficulties
20 Nigh Impossible
16 Very Hard
13 Hard
10 Difficult
7 Average
5 Easy
3 Very Easy
1 Trivial
Skill Modifiers
Legendary +8
Excellent +6
Great +4
Good +2
Average +0
Poor -2
Rubbish -4
Dreaful -6
Hopeless -8
Added refinements: Degree of success may be a factor. If you only need an Average success, for example, but your total is high enough for Hard success, then you may achieve more than you hoped for.
__________________ New from The Lazy GM: Savage Creatures. 40 monsters, hundreds of stat blocks. The Lazy GM Series. Pre-generated monster stats for the discerning adventurer. The World of Conclave. Innovative (and free) webworld for d20.
Warrior Queen of Venus: Episode 12
Bride of Orongu-Khan
Narrator: When last we saw our heroes, they were attempting to rescue Lady Jane Hamilton-Grey, Plucky Adventuress and British Agent, from the clutches of Queen Zamora, Ruler of Venus. Their daring rescue attempt foiled by the Queen's Amazon Guard, our heroes are now captives of Queen Zamora. The wicked Queen has decreed that Lady Jane be sacrificed to the Venusians' terrible god, the fearsome Orongu-Khan. Will our heroes escape in time? Or will Lady Jane become the Bride of Orongu-Khan? Stay tuned to find out...
Scene: The Venusian village, strange pod-houses built onto the side of wierd alien trees. Queen Zamora and her retinue watch from a platform high up in the trees. "Crash" Jones, Percy Ambleton-Smythe and Lady Jane are tied to tall posts in the centre of the village. Sy, Dr. Ecks, "Suicide" Bernard and Tork are locked in a wooden cage not far away.
They are placed before a huge wooden palisade, set with torches above a massive gate. Spear-wielding Venusian Amazons (tall athletic women with blue skin, four arms and fur bikinis) stand guard atop the walls, while feeble man-slaves pull on massive ropes to open the gates, to the sound of drums.
Queen Zamora: Soon, Earthling fools, you will be food for mighty Orongu Khan. This will be your reward for trying to thwart Queen Zamora. Do you have any last words?
Lady Jane Hamilton-Grey
Queen Zamora
__________________ New from The Lazy GM: Savage Creatures. 40 monsters, hundreds of stat blocks. The Lazy GM Series. Pre-generated monster stats for the discerning adventurer. The World of Conclave. Innovative (and free) webworld for d20.
Crash struggles against his ropes for a moment then gives up and addresses the Queen. "This is because of the dinner thing isn't it? I told you I was sorry. Who keeps Giant Octopi as pets anyway?"
__________________ -Andor
"Congratulations. You just invented 'negligent regicide.'" - Schlock Mercenary
Abercrombie beams as he takes in the scene, HA HA, this is great fun Tork, the natives sure can beat a drum! If only I had my moving picture machine to capture all this excitement! Doctor, could you jimmy this latch open so I could go fetch my equipment?
"You know, I can't imagine how I forgot," Sy proclaims, "But it just so happens that, last time I was in Borneo, I came across a tribe who worship the little-known brother of Orongu-Khan: Orangu-Tan. That's actually where I met Lady Jane, as she had been chosen by the natives to be the eternal bride of Orangu-Tan. Now, it seems to me to be nothing but bad taste to sacrifice a god's soon to be sister-in-law, don't you think? When, really, she ought to have a place of honor!"
Dr. Ecks is torn between watching the ultimate demise of Crash, Percy, and the Lady Jane, and the problem tasked at hand, a poorly constructed wooden impenetrable cage with a faulty yet impregnable locking mechanism. "Yes. Yeeees, let me see, let me see," his high pitched tenor changes into mumblings as he opens his mysterious black bag, pulling out a large nail file, a spool of string, and a piece of bubblegum.
Queen Zamora: That was no mere "Giant Octopus", that was a Ganymedian Hentai Squid, given to me by the Emperor of Saturn. (She turns her head to one side, looking distraught, and bites a knuckle) Your tiny Earthling mind will never understand the joy he gave me. (Furious again) But now, you will be food for Orongu-Khan. Justice is mine!
The gates swing fully open, revealing the savage Venusian jungle beyond. Something large is crashing through the trees, and over the sound of the drums comes the mighty roar of Orongu-Khan.
Meanwhile, in the cage, Dr. Ecks succeeds in opening the door, despite the setback of losing the bubblegum. However, the excitement of success, or the stress of having to completely refigure his plan to allow for the loss of the bubblegum triggers the good doctor's narcolepsy. With a smile on his face, he pitches forwards, quite asleep. Abercrombie "Suicide" Bernard happily blows bubbles.
OOC
Crash Jones, Conning Suckers: 2d6+2 = 8. An average success, not enough to assuage an angry Venusian Warrior Queen.
Dr. Ecks, MacGuyvering Things: 2d6+2 = 13. Enough to overcome a Hard task. He opens the door. But...
Dr. Ecks, Narcoleptic: 2d6-4 = 4. Fails an Average check. He falls asleep.
Sy Bergeron, I Seem To Remember: 2d6+4 = 12. Overcomes a Difficult task, so the story is true. It doesn't help much at the moment, maybe it will be useful later?
__________________ New from The Lazy GM: Savage Creatures. 40 monsters, hundreds of stat blocks. The Lazy GM Series. Pre-generated monster stats for the discerning adventurer. The World of Conclave. Innovative (and free) webworld for d20.
Tork catches the good doctor before he falls on the floor. "Have caught doc. I do fetch you picture thing?" He asks a bit confused Suicide. As ever, he looks a bit silly in the modern clothes he is forced to wear.
__________________
Signature
Hi I'm a comic and rpg nerd. Don't hurt me, please.
Crash catches the door opening out of the corner of his eye and decides this would be a good time to be a distraction before the guards notice. He flashes the Queen his patented charming grin. "My dear Queen. No cold being from the outer planets could possibly bring real joy to your heart. Allow a hot blooded earthling to show you what real fun is."
__________________ -Andor
"Congratulations. You just invented 'negligent regicide.'" - Schlock Mercenary
Tork catches the good doctor before he falls on the floor. "Have caught doc. I do fetch you picture thing?" He asks a bit confused Suicide. As ever, he looks a bit silly in the modern clothes he is forced to wear.
"Maybe we should try to get the others out of their ropes before we look for the 'picture thing.' If you can carry the doctor, Tork, maybe we can have some fun breaking ropes for our friends. What do you say?"
Percy checks his binding just in case they were loose enough to slip out of. Unfortunately, there was no such luck. "You won't get away with this Queen Zamora. One does not murder members of the British aristocracy with impunity." Rechecking his ropes Percy finds he can just about reach the knot tying his hand. Thinks 'The idiots can't even tie someone up correctly. Now if I can just untie it.' In order to distract the natives while working on his ropes, Percy addresses Lady Jane "Keep you chin up my dear. Colonel Curruthers and his men will be here shortly and they soon sort these blighters out."
Percy is so absorbed in what he is doing that he is completely oblivious to everything that is happening around him.
Pitched over Tork's shoulder and lost in his dreams of swatting ice cream cones out of the hands of young children, Dr. Ecks lets escape a deep rumbling snore.
Abercrombie dashes for his equipment, slinging it over his shoulders before dashing in front of the now open gate. Lens cap... crank... lighting.... humidity cover... and... WE'RE ROLLING!!!
Abercrombie stands directly in front of the open Gate waiting for the perfect shot of the infamous Orongu-Khan!
Hearing the queen mention her pet again Suicide can't keep his mouth shut, WORST hentai tentacle show EVER! It was a favor to put that little underachiever down. I'm sure the crew and I could go on a Ganymedian expedition and find twice the pet!
Mr. Bernard suddenly goes silent, thinking he saw movement from the jungle, and not wanting to miss the shot.
Queen Zamora: Too late, Crash Jones. You had your chance and you cast me aside. But... perhaps if you are man enought to defeat Orongu-Khan, you would be man enough to be my man-slave. ...One of my man-slaves. Perhaps Tuesday afternoon. Between 2 and half-past.
Lady Jane: (Looking with horror at Crash, tied on her right hand side) Oh Cwash! How could you consider such a tewwible thing. (She turns to Percy, tied on her left hand side) Do you weally think so, Percy? I hope Colonel Cawwuthers wecieved your wireless signal.
But Percy, former House Escapology Champion in his old school, has managed to secretly work his hands free from his bonds. Just as Tork (carrying Dr. Ecks), Suicide (setting up his camera) and Sy burst loose from the cage.
Queen Zamora: You may have escaped the cage, Earthlings, but that just means death will come sooner to you. See, Orongu-Khan approaches!
Tork manages to break the ropes of [choose: Crash or Lady Jane] before another terrible roar echoes from the jungle, and Orongu-Khan appears!
OOC
Crash: Conning Suckers 2d6+2 = 6. Hmm... not convinced.
Percy: Escape artist 2d6 (no skill) = 11. Enough to succeed.
Intimidation 2d6 (no skill) = 5. No effect.
Be Inconspicuous 2d6-2 = 7. The Venusian guards don't notice his escape.
Suicide: Get The Shot 2d6+2 = 8. Average footage of Orongu-Khan.
Tork: Breaking Things 2d6+4 =11. Rope go snap!
I was tempted, with the build up, to have Orongu-Khan be some tiny or harmless thing, but a Tyrannosaur he was all along. Stop-motion, of course.
__________________ New from The Lazy GM: Savage Creatures. 40 monsters, hundreds of stat blocks. The Lazy GM Series. Pre-generated monster stats for the discerning adventurer. The World of Conclave. Innovative (and free) webworld for d20.
Dr. Ecks wakes up with a burly shoulder in his gut, the jostling from the movements of Tork's walk rousing him from his slumber. Turning his head to the side he spots the infamous Orongu-Khan from the jungle and lets out a hurried shriek cut short by the onset of new snores, as the horrible Dr. Ecks falls victim to a startled sleep once more.
Having managed to free himself, Percy had a bit of a dilemma. Chivalry calls for him to free Lady Jane, common sense called for him to kill the Orongu-Khan and the queen, while etiquette says that a Gentleman does not hit a lady.
Putting common sense over chivalry, Percy quickly goes over to where the Amazons have piled the group's equipment. Once there, he starts to search for his Webley Mk VI Revolver.