I'm getting a bit frustrated lately, so forgive me if this sounds a little whiny. I've been gaming (mostly D&D) since the late 70s. As most people on here will attest, gamers can sometimes be a bit awkward socially outside of their gaming groups (and sometimes within...)

But, outside of RPGs and maybe middle school, do people suddenly just stop responding and disappear in real life? I can't imagine that in the professional world where I work, but I guess since I've been out of college since the late 80s, maybe it's a different world.

As a few people here know, I recently moved across Connecticut and have been trying to find either a gaming group that needs an extra player, or else start my own gaming group. My old gaming group is now 60-90 minutes away from my new home, so that's not really an option for them to drive.

So, I put out ads in various places seeking gaming groups or gamers (here, RPGnet, WotC forums, rpg game find, pen & paper games, etc)

I received several responses from people that seemed interested.

One guy seemed really interested, and would respond within minutes of me sending him emails about his D&D experience. He even contacted a friend of his that lives close to my house and the friend was also interested. Over the next week or so, we exchanged some humorous gaming stories and seemed to be on the same page in terms of gaming. Then, suddenly, the guy stopped responding to my emails. Not even, "sorry, I'm not interested anymore" or "sorry, I found another group" - nothing. It was like the guy dropped off the face of the earth. This was a guy that had responded to one of my ads, not me contacting him.

Similarly, another guy responded to a post of mine on another message board. We exchanged a few emails and agreed to meet at a local book store. We chatted for a while at the book store and seemed to get along well. He was even excited and mentioned a friend of his that lived west of my new home that would love to get back into gaming with him (this guy lived east of my home, and my home was in between). He contacted the friend and the friend was interested. This guy was married, with kids and in the military, so I figured he was probably a responsible guy. I guess I was wrong - he suddenly stopped responding, and I never heard back from him again. Not even a "sorry, I got shipped out" or anything like that. No explanation. Though, I know he's been online, as you can sort this msg board by last visit date.

I could go on here, but this has happened to me with five different gamers now since I moved. Only one of them (a couple that wasn't available on weekends) had the courtesy to respond to say they couldn't play on weekends. Is it too much to ask people to say, "Sorry, I can't make it" or similar? It seems like middle school maturity to not even respond & be man enough to say "no" - only the two gamers where one was a woman had the decency to give me closure.

I'm getting pretty frustrated overall, though. I'd rather have just gotten a flat out "no" from people than have been led along to think they were interested only to just suddenly disappear. Heck, I'd rather they have said, "your game sounds like it sucks" than what I got.

sorry - just venting here.

back to your regularly scheduled gaming.