Gamers! (a bit of a rant)

[Dannyalcatraz]

Shoot, you're lucky it's strangers! I have friends who are that rude.

Once, a guy I've been buddies with since 1985 called me and decided to join me for dinner. He said he'd drive. I got tired of waiting when the 10PM news went off, so I called, right before I was about to simply leave and go dine on my own. He said that I "should have figured out" he wasn't coming. I asked why he hadn't called, and he replied that he forgot my phone number.

I let it slide and went to eat, knowing full well that 1) my phone number hadn't changed in 6 years at that point, and 2) he no longer had a regular phone, only a cell phone...and my number was in it. Even if it hadn't been programmed in it, he had called me from it to make dinner plans!

I have never called him on it.

 

[Lwaxy]

I have to admit that sometimes I totally forget about groups and plans and whatnot, even when originally interested, when something comes along that either requires my attention for a while or when I feel too sick to do anything. If I don't already know the people in question, I forget they exist in such situations. I usually remember weeks later when it's too late to say anything.

 

[NewJeffCT]

[MENTION=10784]NewJeffCT[/MENTION]
Think of it like dating. On average, men asking a woman out will succeed one out of every ten times (I'm sure I read that from a heavily footnoted scientific journal like Men's Health ). So, every "no" is one step closer to a "yes".

EDIT: My buddy Greg is out in CT, can't remember which town, but I don't think he's a gamer. He is the type who might get into it once invited by the right group of people.

I guess I'm discouraged because I had a lot of success before and was seemingly having success this time... then, nothing, not even a "no"

 

[Lwaxy]

Have you considered meeting them instead of emailing first? In some neutral location? That's what I usually do. Once people know you it is less likely they forget about you in my experience.

 

[Weregrognard]

To the OP, just keep trying! I've met a couple of good gamers here who I still play with, a couple that turned out to be duds, and (thankfully) none that have been a horror story.

 

[Quickleaf]

I guess I'm discouraged because I had a lot of success before and was seemingly having success this time... then, nothing, not even a "no"

Besides your FLGS I can also recommend using Meetup to meet other gamers: Dungeons & Dragons Meetup Groups - Dungeons & Dragons Meetups and search by zip code for the one in CT nearest to you.

I met several fun gamers thru meetup here in Honolulu, though no one sticked. OTOH, I met a great couple thru ENWorld and we game together now.

I agree with [MENTION=26396]Androlphas[/MENTION] , sorry you're having a frustrating experience, just shake it off and keep trying. Settling into a new place can take some time...it took me 2 years before I really adjusted to Hawaii. It *is* a paradise, but living here is very different then vacationing here, especially when you move without knowing anyone.

 

[NewJeffCT]

thanks - I met some good folks at a local gaming store today. One of them ran a Lair Assault adventure that was about to turn into a TPK when people had to leave (the game ran a bit long)

However, i also tried meetup and there are 8 gamers within 30 miles of me (there are over 100 within 30 miles of my old home). The one person that contacted me through there also pulled the "yeah, I'm interested" and then nothing.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

Look on the bright side. Better to find out that they're twits now then a few months later when you've got an investment in the game.

 

[Quickleaf]

thanks - I met some good folks at a local gaming store today. One of them ran a Lair Assault adventure that was about to turn into a TPK when people had to leave (the game ran a bit long)

However, i also tried meetup and there are 8 gamers within 30 miles of me (there are over 100 within 30 miles of my old home). The one person that contacted me through there also pulled the "yeah, I'm interested" and then nothing.

Another trick I haven't tried is to wear subtle rpg perephenalia around town. I've struck up conversations with quite a few gamers in unlikely places because they were wearing "that's how I roll" t-shirts and that sort of thing(ok, not exactly subtle).

Funny story: one gaming night with my old group I looked around the table and I think everyone except me had some kind of rpg themed t-shirt. Maybe it's time I finally broke down and bought one?

Tell you what, I'll buy one if you do.

 

[NewJeffCT]

Look on the bright side. Better to find out that they're twits now then a few months later when you've got an investment in the game.

Good point on that. I'd hate to be counting on somebody only to have them flake out & stop showing 6-8-10 sessions into a campaign.