The one night stand culture

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
I'll just grab a couple of quick points, as I'm winding down for the day. But your replies are very much leading me from "I don't know what it's like over there" to "yeah, it does sound a bit repressed".

(Curious: Did the UK release of The Full Monty actually show the full Monty of the main characters at the end, on stage? The version I saw here in the US did not show it, just their backsides.)

Never seen it.

comprehensive sex education – Some people don’t want such taught by the government.

Exactly. It's the "some people" which are part of a country's culture. There's no such movement in most countries.

Lots of sexuality on TV.

Out of curiosity (I don't really know how TV works over there) is it on mainstream broadcast TV, or cable channels ? How would you characterize it? Someone earlier cited Baywatch, which I wouldn't group as such. I've seen stuff like Spartacus or GoT, but are those on premium cable channels over there or general free broadcast TV? (Is the term "network TV over there? I'm not sure.)

attitudes of voters or media regarding the sex lives of politicians – Politicians who are involved in “sex scandals”

The fact that it's a "scandal" is the issue. There are many places where folks just aren't interested in the private lives of their politicians as long as they do their jobs right; those things that would be scandals in one place are not elsewhere.

Also, it’s not about their sex lives, it’s usually about affairs, prostitution,

Again, sexual repression isn't about the act of sex. It's about those very issues.

pro-gay legislation – “Pro-gay”? Do you actually mean, “non-anti-gay”?

I don't know what the commonly used term is in your country, but here the term "pro-gay" is used to mean "not discriminating against gay people" or legislation such as "enabling gay people to marry". That's an area that lots of countries are still only just getting right - it only happened here in the last year or so (though we had a "civil partnership" equivalent before that).

age of sexual consent – 18 isn’t young enough?

It's 16 here and in many other Western countries. So many cultures would say no.

controversies regarding topic like abortion, rape, and other issues – That’s not sexuality.

It's part of the discussion, for certain, and always has been.

freely available contraception – Contraception is fully available all around.

I wasn't trying to imply it wasn't available, but that it wasn't free (I'm not even saying it isn't free in your country - I've absolutely no idea - just that as an area of discussion free contraception is one primary indicator of a society's attitude towards sexual issues).

But anyway, <!-- BEGIN TEMPLATE: dbtech_usertag_mention --> @Bullgrit <!-- END TEMPLATE: dbtech_usertag_mention -->, in answer to your initial question - these are the things people mean when they talk about sexual repression. It's clear that you feel strongly that the label does not apply to you country, which is fine (and others here clearly strenuously disagree with you). I personally think the UK is likely fairly similar ot the US in this, and places like The Netherlands and Italy make both countries look pretty puritanical (certainly compared to here; I'm only hazarding a guess at the US).
 
Last edited:

log in or register to remove this ad

My wife and I have two night stands, one for each side of the bed. But I can certainly see the viability of a one night stand culture for all the folks sleeping one to a bed, or for couples willing to share -- or for that minority which sleeps in twin beds with the night stand between them.
 

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
Not sure if contraception is freely available. Certainly, you can get it in drug stores, sure, but there is push back, for example, to condom distribution programs, and there are issues with insurance and contraceptives. Questions, too, about what a guidance councilor is to do when asked questions about sexuality and/or contraceptives.

By "freely available" I mean "available for free". I may have phrased it clumsily.
 

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
Personally, I've never understood the one nightstand culture. To me, that just makes the bedroom look lopsided and off-balance. I definitely prefer two nightstands, one on either side of the bed. That way, I've got room for my stuff in mine, and my wife has room for her stuff in hers. And, it goes without saying, it makes the bedroom more symmetrical.

My wife and I have two night stands, one for each side of the bed. But I can certainly see the viability of a one night stand culture for all the folks sleeping one to a bed, or for couples willing to share -- or for that minority which sleeps in twin beds with the night stand between them.

Hah! :D
 

Umbran

Mod Squad
Staff member
Supporter
Now if Girl A is just into a one night stand with the guy, she's probably going to be fine. But Girl B wasn't doing it as a recreational activity. And for a lot of people, it is not just a recreational activity.

I don't have the study on hand, but it is a bit deeper than that. If Girl A is intellectually okay with it, that doesn't mean her neurochemistry is okay with it. Acts of intimacy (not limited to sex, by the way, but sex generally has the strongest impact) result in release of hormones in the human body, and those have impact on your neurochemistry. For some, the act of repeatedly initiating the bonding process without actually forming bonds leads to a neurochemically depressed state. What you think you want has nothing to do with it - like a diabetic who *wants* that piece of cake, having it is still a bad idea.

The study, in fact, focused on men. The basic scenario is this: Gent feels low, decides to go hook up (because sex is fun, and getting some means he's a Real Man, so he'll be happy afterwards). But it doesn't help - he's still depressed. Lather, rinse, repeat, and the person is driven into a pretty depressed state, and doesn't know why. The effect can be seen regardless of what they *think* is right for them, and isn't just a matter of personal belief or social pressures.

Basically - it is possible for a person to be wired to be better off in committed relationships, that not everyone can have casual sex and just be okay.
 

Bullgrit

Adventurer
As to contraception:

"Free" as in cost no money, no it generally isn't free. But then, neither is aspirin or water.

"Free" as in availalbe for anyone, yes. I bought my first condom at 16 years old. My first girlfriend got on birth control pills at 16 without her parents' knowledge. (Granted that was 30 years ago.)

Today, my son could walk to the store and buy a condom for $1. If I drove him, he could purchase a whole box of condoms from the drug store. I don't know how easy it would be for a girl to get pills nowadays, but then pills are chemicals that alter one's body functions, so some control would be probable.

Bullgrit
 
Last edited:

Morrus

Well, that was fun
Staff member
"Free" as in cost no money, no it generally isn't free. But then, neither is aspirin or water.

And yet, even so, many countries make it free. As in no money. Do you see what I mean? It's all relative. What seems "normal" to you isn't to another country. You find it odd to make condoms free; other cultures find it odd not to.
 


Exactly. It's the "some people" which are part of a country's culture. There's no such movement in most countries.
You, that was definitely standing me out to me as one of the "safest" signs that there is still sexual repression, if people are scared that their kids might learn something about sex in school.

It might also point out the heterogeneity of the country if there is no generally accepted consensus on when children should learn about sexuality, and what they need to know.

Umbran's example by the way is also something that people should be aware of and in a free society without discrimination and without sexual repression, I'd also say no one should be considered a particularly great or bad person because he engages in one-night stands or doesn't, irrespective of sex.

But that is certainly a topic we're working on in most countries in the world, and the US is probably not behind or ahead in that area...
 

Bullgrit

Adventurer
comprehensive sex education – Some people don’t want such taught by the government.
Exactly.
Having "the talk" with one's kids about "the birds and the bees" is a common thing in America. Most parents do educate their kids about sex and sexuality. (I say "most" like I'd say, "Most parents teach their kids not to get into a stranger's car.") Not liking the idea of government schools teaching about sex to one's children is not the same as not wanting to teach one's children at all about sex. And not wanting government schools teaching sex isn't the same as repressing sex. Schools generally dont' teach religion, but that doesn't mean religion is repressed.

Bullgrit
 

Remove ads

Top