Yes it doesn't shut down recon, as most people would listen at the door anyway, but basically as soon as the door is opened the combat might well begin at close range. Now this doesn't bother the hand crossbow build, but for all other archers its not ideal to begin combat within 20' for the nearest opponent. This kind of combat is quite typical for us.
You also have the dilemma of who is next to the door when opened. If the non stealthy party members are near then there is a good chance that the enemy has heard, prepared, sent runners. So it might well be the scout on their own opening the door to face whatever is behind it.
It sounds like the reason recon isn't a big thing at your table is because you've never seriously tried it. (But see below.) If an invisible Shadow Monk, or an invisible Sprite, opens a door and there's an bad guy on the other side (e.g. hobgoblin captain), what happens? From what you describe it sounds like your DM would say "roll initiative", but what if the monk or spite just says, "I keep hiding" and moves on? The hobgoblin captain may or may not get spooked into sounding a general alert, but unless your DM is the type who would otherwise have let you catch the hobgoblins unarmored (AC 11), what do you care even if he does? Getting to watch the enemy's procedures when he goes on alert is valuable intel. As long as you survive to get your info back to your buddies (automatic for a Sprite), you're doing your job.
If your DM
would let you catch the hobgoblins out of armor then obviously everything changes and you want to sneak in, map the areas where off-duty unarmored hobgoblins are as best you can without alerting anyone, and then go fetch the rest of the party and conduct an entirely assault in less than ten minutes (the time it takes to don heavy armor). So the value of recon goes up, but the costs of being detected go up too.
Of course it also depends on your reasons for invading the hobgoblin lair in the first place. If this is a hostage rescue mission, you obviously don't want to spook the hobgoblins into killing hostages.
It would be pretty unusual for us to be in that much control of an enemies lair. Its usually them controlling the combat flow, retreating, bringing in reinforcements, flanking etc. Wizards and other ranged characters are often open to flanking from behind
That's exactly what happens when you don't do recon, and/or your DM is a Combat As Sport type who denies players the benefit of recon because it makes things "too easy". Either that, or he's a Combat As War DM who's got the difficulty cranked waaaaay up. (Not that I disapprove of high difficulty.) If sneaking through "thousands of devils" to assassinate their leader is a typical mission, then yes, I agree that stealth is at a premium and you really can't afford to give the enemy the slightest warning or they will utterly annihilate you.
Yeah, at higher level the really significant combats are either ambushes (e.g the balor gets gated in by its master), or they are difficult situations to begin with. In one of our recent combats we had to sneak through an army of thousands of devils, in into a 50' square tent to take out the devil general. We were successful getting in but once combat started there wasn't a single round that the ranged guys weren't in melee with some devil or other.
Of course not all combats are like that - far from it - but the really key ones aren't as easy as a bunch of monsters in a group that can be scouted out in advance.
That sounds like a fun scenario. Congratulations on surviving. I bet you've got a reputation with the devils now.
