what songs do monsters sing.

rgoodbb

Adventurer
I see armies rise
And demons spawn
The toxic dusk
The bilesome dawn
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I smell putrid stench
And copper blood
Red rivers flow
The land they flood
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colours of detritus
Spraying through the sky
Are also on the faces
Of those about to die
I see warriors shaking
Muscles flexed
They're really saying
"Who’s next?"

I hear babies cry
Oh my oh my
I’ll help them grow
Sprout wings and fly
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Oh yeah...
 

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rgoodbb

Adventurer
Lament of the Mimic

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes
Watchin' adventurers roll in
Then I watch 'em roll away again

I'm sittin' as a trunk on the bay
Watchin' adventurers roll away
I'm sittin' as a trunk on the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in the Lurkwood
And I headed for the Luskan Bay
'Cause I've got nothin' to feed on
Looks like nothin's gonna come my way, so

I'm just come sittin' as a trunk on the bay
Watchin' adventurers roll away
I'm sittin' as a trunk on the bay, wastin' time
 

Ath-kethin

Elder Thing
In my learned experience, ogres listen to Slayer, orcs listen to early Metallica, hobgoblins dig Megadeth, and elves listen to Celine Dion.

Oh, and kobolds listen to Nickleback.
 

rgoodbb

Adventurer
The Hunger

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
The Blood is all around me
And so the feeling grows

It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
You will just let it flow

You know I crave it, I always will
I’ll keep on drinkin’ till I’ve had my fill
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
Drink back of me and you will ascend

I see your neck before me
It’s calling to me now
I cannot stop my thinking
It’s nearly time for chow

You gave your promise to me
And I gave mine to you
I need someone beside me
To share the red wine too

You know I crave it, I always will
I’ll keep on drinkin’ till I’ve had my fill
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
Drink back of me and you will ascend

Oh, it’s written in the wind
Everywhere I go
So if you really love me
You will just let it flow
….Come on and let it flow…….
 


jasper

Rotten DM
Mr Tabaxi
You ought to ask Mage Misty Cough
The original conjuring tabaxi
Please, listen to me...
And don't scoff
All his inventions are of his own bat
There's no such tabaxi
In the waterdeep
He holds all the Cat Nip monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mage Misty Cough's conjuring turn
And we all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
He is quiet and small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for wererats
He can play any trick on an adventurer
Or a spook a rogue out his hiding place
If you look for your sword or plate
And you think it was merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment
And then it is gone
But you find it next week
Lying out on the lawn
And you'll all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Presto!"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least we all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall
And we'll all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A tabaxi so clever as magical
Mage Misty Cough"
Ladies and gentlemen
I give you the magical, Marvelous Mage Misty Cough
 

jasper

Rotten DM
Acererak’s Tomb
It’s creepy and It’s kooky, mysterious and spooky
It’s all together ooky, the Acererak’s Tomb
His Crypt is a museum, when people come to die in
They really are a scre-um the Acererak’s Tomb
Neat, sweet, pee you!
So get a death save on, a dungeon you can crawl in
We're going to make a call on the Acererak’s Tomb
It’s creepy and It’s kooky, mysterious and spooky
It’s all together ooky, the Acererak’s Tomb
His Crypt is a museum, when people come to die in
They really are a scre-um the Acererak’s Tomb
Neat, sweet, pee you!
So get a death save on, a dungeon you can crawl in
We're going to make a call on the Acererak’s Tomb
 

jasper

Rotten DM
Vampire Nerds
Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands!
We're Vampire Vampire Vampire and... Mind Flayers
We come here on stage tonight to do a show for you
We've got a rockin looks and a high gothic sound
That'll make you move your body down to the ground
We've got Pandora on the violin
And Lestat and Gabrielle will be joinin' in
We've got Dracula on a mean guitar
And a rap by little old me Strahd Von Zarovich
We've got Thuringwethil beating on his gong
The boys and the Minds's are clapping along
And just when you thought you'd seen it all
Along comes a Vampire 4 ft tall!
So won't you come on out here, on the floor,
so we can work our bodies like never before
Break!
 

rgoodbb

Adventurer
BBEG Victory Song

Young man, there's no need to feel down
I said, young man, ‘cause you’re hittin the ground
I said, young man, it’s happening all around
There's no need-to-be-un-ha-ppy

Young man, you are on your way out
I said, young man, it’s the end of the bout
Young man, oh you’ve gotta’ be brave
When you roll-that-fi-nal-death-save

What’s really happened here? Why.T.P.K?
How did this happen now? Why.T.P.K?
You were bunched up en-masse
I had to fireball your ass
And now you are burning away

What’s really happened here? Why.T.P.K?
Are you so stupid now? Why.T.P.K?
Do not fear what comes next
You will be my blood hexed
And you’ll fight for me in a day

Young man, are you listening to me
I said, young man, did you enjoy level 3
I said, young man, you will be more with me
I will make you-my-pro-di-gy

Young man........
 

rgoodbb

Adventurer
Illithid Nursery Rhyme

Dem brains dem brains, dem
Live brains
Dem brains dem brains, dem
Wet brains
Dem brains dem brains, dem
Fresh brains
Doin’ the cranium dance

The Frontal lobe’s connected to the
Parietal lobe
The Parietal lobe’s connected to the
Occipital lobe
The Occipital lobe’s connected to the
Temporal lobe
That’s where we BEAKY bite in

Dem brains dem brains, dem
Live brains
Dem brains dem brains, dem
Wet brains……
 

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