Dungeons & Dragons - The Musical
Picture the goblins singing this!
The small group of goblins and orcsare sneaking up on the small sleepy town of Nestfall.
Orc #1
So when we get to Human Village everyone know what we do?
Goblin #1
No, what do we do?
Orc #1 <pulls out his sword, and stabs goblin>
Now does everyone know what we do?
Orcs and goblins
Yes , but do you?
Orc #1 <starts to sing softly>
We are going to ...< turns more in to a rock song>
Rape kill Pilage and burn
We're going to kill pilage and burn
Goblins coruse
EAT THE BABIES!.
All while dancing. And the sleepy village does not wake up
The small group of goblins and orcsare sneaking up on the small sleepy town of Nestfall.
Orc #1
So when we get to Human Village everyone know what we do?
Goblin #1
No, what do we do?
Orc #1 <pulls out his sword, and stabs goblin>
Now does everyone know what we do?
Orcs and goblins
Yes , but do you?
Orc #1 <starts to sing softly>
We are going to ...< turns more in to a rock song>
Rape kill Pilage and burn
We're going to kill pilage and burn
Goblins coruse
EAT THE BABIES!.
All while dancing. And the sleepy village does not wake up
am181d
Adventurer
MrFilthyIke said:I was waiting for the classic "Where There's A Whip" to break out.
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
We don't want to go to war today, but
The Lord of lash says nay, nay, nay
We're gonna march all day, all day, all day
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Where There's a Whip There's a Way
Left, right, left, right, left,
Where There's a Whip There's a Way, left, right
The crack on the back says we're going to fight
We're going to march all day and night and more
'cause we are the slaves of the dark Lord Zor
Left, right, Left, right, Left, right, Left, right,. . .
TheAuldGrump
First Post
PAN to Beholder, unseen by either the Hero or the Goblins & Orc
Beholder (Speaking, with a faimt silibant lisp):
Ahhhh, what is this? A Hero? And in pursuit of my old friend, the dragon Verminer? (Beholder smiles, revealing far too many teeth.) Yes....
(Cue Music)
This could be used to my advantage, a town that is burned to ashes serves my purposes not at all, but a Hero, working for the public good and the lining of his own pockets? Yes... possibilities.
(Begins singing):
You have to keep your eyes upon your goal!
Keep the method well within your grasp,
Never let your eyes blink till your old!
And that final blink will be your last...
Though some may plot and plan and scheme,
Weaving webs of madness draped with screams,
Keep your options simple, thats my scheme!
Their too busy in their ever changing dreams
Keep It Simple Stupid! That's my scheme.
Now some may talk of Succubitic Bliss,
Or poisoned daggers in the darkness at the end,
But I will stay with My Beholder's KISS!
In scheming, Keep It Simple Stupid is your friend!
(Speaking)
Ah, I see that the smallest of the goblins has wandered off from the others...
There must be something that can be made of this... (Smiles) If only a quick meal.
(Beholder drifts away - exit right.)
Goblin (off stage):
Eeep!
(End music and dissolve)
The Auld Grump
Beholder (Speaking, with a faimt silibant lisp):
Ahhhh, what is this? A Hero? And in pursuit of my old friend, the dragon Verminer? (Beholder smiles, revealing far too many teeth.) Yes....
(Cue Music)
This could be used to my advantage, a town that is burned to ashes serves my purposes not at all, but a Hero, working for the public good and the lining of his own pockets? Yes... possibilities.
(Begins singing):
You have to keep your eyes upon your goal!
Keep the method well within your grasp,
Never let your eyes blink till your old!
And that final blink will be your last...
Though some may plot and plan and scheme,
Weaving webs of madness draped with screams,
Keep your options simple, thats my scheme!
Their too busy in their ever changing dreams
Keep It Simple Stupid! That's my scheme.
Now some may talk of Succubitic Bliss,
Or poisoned daggers in the darkness at the end,
But I will stay with My Beholder's KISS!
In scheming, Keep It Simple Stupid is your friend!
(Speaking)
Ah, I see that the smallest of the goblins has wandered off from the others...
There must be something that can be made of this... (Smiles) If only a quick meal.
(Beholder drifts away - exit right.)
Goblin (off stage):
Eeep!
(End music and dissolve)
The Auld Grump
LazerPointer
First Post
dammit, Auld Grump has set up a beholder as a villian, pre-empting my use of a minotaur riding a beholder. ah well.
cut to baudy tavern scene. whores, cutpurses, and peasants singing heartily
we are the token tavern folk
from Istanbril to shining sea
and if you took a boat to Loak,
we'd be there too, we're NPC!
sudden silence. a HERO in the doorway.
speaks: who among you, stout of heart, will hear my call?
a young man, whispy haired, and a huge lady with a greatsword stand, as peasants cower.
spoken together: we two shall go, for what we know one thing alone, we do not know!
a cutpurse walks up beside the young man, and sings:Make that three!
Jabbing his hand into the young man's belt pouch, he holds the pilfered coin purse aloft; everyone sings:Make that three!!!
Hero shouts: Four! And the lights go out. squeeka squeeka squeeka, the curtain slowly closes as the darkened actors hold that dramatic pose.
cut to baudy tavern scene. whores, cutpurses, and peasants singing heartily
we are the token tavern folk
from Istanbril to shining sea
and if you took a boat to Loak,
we'd be there too, we're NPC!
sudden silence. a HERO in the doorway.
speaks: who among you, stout of heart, will hear my call?
a young man, whispy haired, and a huge lady with a greatsword stand, as peasants cower.
spoken together: we two shall go, for what we know one thing alone, we do not know!
a cutpurse walks up beside the young man, and sings:Make that three!
Jabbing his hand into the young man's belt pouch, he holds the pilfered coin purse aloft; everyone sings:Make that three!!!
Hero shouts: Four! And the lights go out. squeeka squeeka squeeka, the curtain slowly closes as the darkened actors hold that dramatic pose.
Last edited:
Americano
First Post
Meepo, my kobold bard NPC wrote a song recently that is posted in my story hour.
It's not what you would call, you know, good. But that wasn't really the point.
It's not what you would call, you know, good. But that wasn't really the point.
The possibilites are endless...
The Mentor's Advice song (The Evil Overlord's Flashback)
(To the tune of "Supercalifragilistic")
"Pillage rape and loot and burn,
But all in moderation!
If you do the things I say,
Then you'll soon rule the nation!
First kill all your enemies,
Then kill your relations!
Pillage rape and loot and burn,
But all in moderation!
Burn to the middle and Loot to the right
Burn to the middle and loot to the right..."
The Mentor's Advice song (The Evil Overlord's Flashback)
(To the tune of "Supercalifragilistic")
"Pillage rape and loot and burn,
But all in moderation!
If you do the things I say,
Then you'll soon rule the nation!
First kill all your enemies,
Then kill your relations!
Pillage rape and loot and burn,
But all in moderation!
Burn to the middle and Loot to the right
Burn to the middle and loot to the right..."
I'm still reeling from the idea that their actually going to make a D&D 2 movie!! The first was tripe! I feel less intelligent just from having seen it! I use it as a training video for how NOT to run a game! I'm just so distracted by the thought of a sequel that I'm having trouble reading the remainder of the post (which is quite witty, I must admit)!
ltclnlbrain
First Post
It had to be done...
Loot, glorious loot!
What is there more handsome?
Coins, items, and gems
Still worth a king's ransom.
What is it we dream about?
What brings us a sigh?
Piled armor and arms about
Six feet high!
Loot, glorious loot!
We're anxious to find some.
Find monsters to kill,
Maim, destroy and take from.
Just picture a great big hoard
With magic items to boot.
Oh, loot,
Wonderful loot,
Marvelous loot,
Glorious loot!
Loot, glorious loot!
What is there more handsome?
Coins, items, and gems
Still worth a king's ransom.
What is it we dream about?
What brings us a sigh?
Piled armor and arms about
Six feet high!
Loot, glorious loot!
We're anxious to find some.
Find monsters to kill,
Maim, destroy and take from.
Just picture a great big hoard
With magic items to boot.
Oh, loot,
Wonderful loot,
Marvelous loot,
Glorious loot!
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