Mercenary Adventures of the B-Team (closed group)

[Blutspitze]

I hereby retcon in the introduction of my awesomely hilarious character. Instead of being at the bar as in the e-mails you were sending (sadly would've been far funnier) we'll just go with the wagon. Speaking of, is there a big red stripe on the side of said wagon? Otherwise the A-team thing is odd....

OOC: Standing in one corner of the wagon (or what little passes for a corner in an object that tends to be round) sat Falkrunn Stonearch, though anyone who knew of dwarves would likely assume he was sitting. Short and thin even by Dwarven standards at 4'3" and barely 145 pounds, Falkrunn was about as unintimidating as a dwarf could get before somehow becoming a gnome (and it's totally not Danny projecting or anything like that.....totally). Nonetheless he carried himself well, had his favorite, though slightly dirtied, armor and shield, and, standing in his 'corner' sharpened his battleaxe with great care. Her name was Carsys, and they had indeed been through a great deal together. Born to the Stonearch clan, he was initially 'raised' as a doll for his siblings. His parents couldn't deal with having such a small dwarf (irony much?) bear their name. Growing up was therefore a struggle, to say the least. 5 brothers and 6 sisters, all of whom were at least twice as big, was difficult. To make it worse, Falkurrn was the second eldest... and still the smallest...*sigh*...It took years to get accepted by his family and even longer to be accepted by the rest of society. For the longest time people didn't know his name, preferring the term of endearment of 'runt'. Taking it all to heart, knowing that one day he'd be able to strike back (a la the Empire), he trained and trained and eventually managed to enter the local knight academy, graduating with highest honors. He became the biggest (obviously not physically) up and coming knight in the king's guard. After several years, a conspiracy was thwarted to kill the king, but Falkrunn was framed. He was forced off the guard and left to fend for himself. Soon enough he found his current work as a mercenary, using his skills to help whatever team he was assigned. Now, having travelled with these.... people... for some time he thought this was the group that could finally help him get back at all those who framed him and show them what's really what. For now, he gets to deal with a nutty pyromaniac, a giant rock guy who IS OBVIOUSLY NOT DWARVEN WORK, and one of those pointy-eared guys who just wants to stab everything.... joy be to Kord putting me with these nutjobs. What did he ever do to deserve this?

*sigh*... Of course the Orcs are savages. Otherwise they'd be in a NICE wagon, not this piece of crap with all of our happy faces. Particularly YOURS (looking at no one in particular). Anyone only becomes a problem for us if they want to. We can't be those who go looking for trouble... *ahem!!!!, glaring at Chess* In the meantime, ladies, what can you tell us about this Bloomten? Where can we find these 'opportunities' *complete with giant finger air quotes*? We gotta GET SOME OPPORTUNITY!!! (his tiny fury awesomely visible)

 

[Phesic]

I turn towards the sister pointedly..I'm actually wondering what sort of bloke this "Stump" character is. I supose it might be too much to hope that you two have heard of him...

[sblock=Doc's attitude towards the dwarf]An interesting study... a dwarf dwarf. I've seen his insides more than I care to admit since he always seems to get himself skewered. I'm pretty sure I've put everything back in it's correct place.[/sblock]

 

[trolled]

"I'm sure this whole community is as ripe with opportunity as it is with filth. And disease. We're all going to end up face down in a gutter somewhere. Intestines more outside than inside. Or worse, we'll do that ourselves from the cholera. Yes, I'm terribly excited to be here."

 

[Phesic]

I look at Chess
Do not fret Ches. My skills will be adequate to keep the common and uncommon diseases at bay, even a sword point or two. As to the filth, you are on your own.

 

[Blutspitze]

I agree with our rocky friend here; what does anyone know about this "Stump" fella. I don't get involved with people that I don't know... Reputation is one thing, and I ain't been a hood long, but I still think that we can make sure of our client's intentions before we offer our bank to them.

He continues to stand in his 'corner', dutifully sharpening his axe, and eyeing the orc sisters... probably wondering if they are part of this takeover......

 

[larryfinnjr]

"Insanity is stability. At least you know what to expect," turning to the imp, Ches replies, "It looks like you have fag covered, my infernal chum." With a flourish, and a bit of magic, Ches levitates one of her hand-rolled cigarettes toward the imp,"With my compliments, and the same to your master."

Taking a long hit from the well-made smoke, the imp billows the fumes out through his ears and tips an imaginary hat at the courteous teifling. "Ahhhh, now that's the stuff, thanks doll. You can't find Malborro around here anymore. Damn freakin' shame 'bout that." And he turns to focus out the rear of the wagon. "Damn freakin' shame...."

 

[larryfinnjr]

I turn towards the sister pointedly..I'm actually wondering what sort of bloke this "Stump" character is. I supose it might be too much to hope that you two have heard of him...

*sigh*... Of course the Orcs are savages. Otherwise they'd be in a NICE wagon, not this piece of crap with all of our happy faces. Particularly YOURS (looking at no one in particular). Anyone only becomes a problem for us if they want to. We can't be those who go looking for trouble... *ahem!!!!, glaring at Chess* In the meantime, ladies, what can you tell us about this Bloomten? Where can we find these 'opportunities' *complete with giant finger air quotes*? We gotta GET SOME OPPORTUNITY!!! (his tiny fury awesomely visible)

The Box speaks up, "Bloomten is to Scandria...

OOC: the local lands

what Sigil is to the rest of the planes."

"Oh, dear sister! I've never heard you speak in metaphor before! Mayhaps our years of exchange have finally begun to bear fruit? Exactly what is the similarity you so wonderfully describe?"

The Box furrows her exceptional brow, dips her head somewhat and snorts. "I dunno. I thought it just sounded good." Silver Lips touches her index and middle fingers to her forehead as her eyes squeeze shut in obvious derision, but The Box then blurts, "Oh, I know! They both have BARS! YEAH!!!" And with that, she pulls a wineskin from her belt and takes a long pull.

"I apologize for my sister's lack of vocabulary," Silver Lips quietly sighs. "Bloomten is like any other outland village...overseen by none, taxed by many, and incapable of defending itself from the regular maurading bands of kobolds, goblins, and, as in this case, orcs that roam the wilderness, scavenging and pillaging whereever they go. The loggers and farmers fell to them a few weeks ago as Stump and his clods blitzed through the area. They'll likely stay put for a few months until the local resources dry up. In the meantime, word's gotten out that there's work to be had, everything from body work to hijacking, from snatch and grabs to prostitution. Stump may be ruthless, but he's a righteous purse and has a great reputation among clients as someone who can always get the mark, no matter the challenge."

 

[Blutspitze]

And the hand of God comes down upon the imp, slapping him across his stupid imp face.

SHHHHH!!! Stop staring at the figurative back of the wagon (aka the literal monitor) and go snorkeling and/or jet skiing. Then eat lobster at the beach. That is all.

The hand gives a thumbs up and the vulcan 'live long and prosper' before vanishing just as it had appeared.

The orc sisters get the same.

 

[larryfinnjr]

"I'm sure this whole community is as ripe with opportunity as it is with filth. And disease. We're all going to end up face down in a gutter somewhere. Intestines more outside than inside. Or worse, we'll do that ourselves from the cholera. Yes, I'm terribly excited to be here."

I look at Chess
Do not fret Ches. My skills will be adequate to keep the common and uncommon diseases at bay, even a sword point or two. As to the filth, you are on your own.

Rag Man seems to somehow catch on to this piece of the conversation. "Diiiirty, FIIIIllllthy, yes! You're excited, yes? Yes! Yes, you are, devil-girl, the gutter is where the coin is, where the rats is, where tomorrow is, yesssss...." And, turning to face Surgeon: "On your own, yes. Always on my own, alone, the lone one, lonely, only me. But you..." Clarity seems to creep into the man's eyes for the breifest moment as he stares the warforged in the eyes. "You know exactly what I mean. Don't you." A statement, not a question. And as sudden as the diatribe began, he returns to his mutterings and general stinkery.

 

[larryfinnjr]

I agree with our rocky friend here.

OOC: Is Surgeon more mechanical or stone-golem looking? I've the traditional cyborg-looking imprint in my brain...correct me if I'm wrong. Also - I need pictures of Surgeon, Mal, and Falkrunn. Big D - please also send me your CB file of Falkrunn. Lastly - don't worry, I/we are totally enjoying the day. Today was the first pseudo-down-day... we got a thundershower come through, so spent some time inside playing games, and tonight my folks came over and spent a few hours hangin out. They just left and the kids are in the tub. Trust me, I'm not wasting any part of this trip - it's been a blast so far!