I play in a weekly game in the mall and the DM for the most recent sessions has been saying some insensitive things to the one female player (calling every girl in the campaign "that b****"), calling all religious people stupid and referring to my character solely as the "mother ****ing rogue" . I myself am a Christian and I want to bring up these issues in the most tactful way possible; this is a game in a public setting and while the DM does not work for the store, I still think everyone should be able to be comfortable at this table. I haven't said anything about being offended or uncomfortable yet because I am the newest member of the group, but its kinda starting to detract from my experience and the experience of others due to other comments he is making. The very last thing I want is for a religious argument to spring up and have the game come to a screeching halt. So how do you guys handle religious/political/bigoted actions by a DM?
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How to deal with this DM?
- Thread starter Kyle Ropp
- Start date
In cases like this, threatening to walk away from the game- letting the person know why- is usually the best way to handle this. You must follow through if he continues being abrasive- I predict he won't change.
I am surprised, though, that store management hasn't talked to him about his language. I haven't played in many public groups, but in those few times, language was kept G or PG rated.
I am surprised, though, that store management hasn't talked to him about his language. I haven't played in many public groups, but in those few times, language was kept G or PG rated.
he's buddies with the manager, and has been asked to keep the language down, and responded by just swearing without shouting it so the whole mall can hear. The thing is that I like him as a DM and I really like the people I'm playing with. I really dont get why either of you two are so willing to walk out of a game, its really not easy to find another...
Dungeoneer
First Post
Well, you could start by asking nicely.
But yeah, in terms of leverage, walking out is about all you got.
But yeah, in terms of leverage, walking out is about all you got.
Crothian
First Post
The reason is if he is not willing to stop your choices are to stay in a game that makes you uncomfortable or leave. Now where I am I find it easy to find another game but that might not be the case for you. So, only you can decide which is worse not gaming or knowing you will be offended every week or how ever often you play. It obviously bothers you enough to post here about it.
No group of any kind- gaming, religious, political, business, etc.- is worth belonging to if it makes you feel too uncomfortable.
I've been gaming since '77, in several cities in several different states. Sometimes, it was very hard to find a group. But I'd rather not game than play with jerks. Besides, since it is in a public place, your participation in the group gives tacit approval to his behavior and you will be judged for it.
http://mythfolklore.net/aesopica/milowinter/21.htm
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Zhaleskra
Adventurer
That depends a lot on what your hard limits on gaming are.
No gaming is better than gaming with dicks.
That's about it right there.
Expecting non-derogatory language in a public setting is not a religion issue. It is a standard of treatment.
If you want to see a change at that store, complain to the owner that you were appalled to hear the misogynistic things the GM was saying, and that you can't support a store that supports that kind of person.
Make sure you use words like "misogynistic" because that gets the owners brain thinking that he's got a real problem, and not just a customer who can't handle a little vulgarity.
Then you walk out.
If you want to keep on the moral high ground, yes, that's about it. Leave, and let the owner know why. Using terms like "misogyny", "sexism" and the like to make the potential issues the owner/manager care about clear.
If you don't care about moral high ground, just about any smartphone can record the proceedings. Most game stores don't want to be publicly shamed - "Store X allows *this* on their premises <video>" in the right place can have impact. It will also make you permanently unwelcome at that store....
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