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“I never had any friends later on, like the ones I had when I was sixteen…does anyone?”
- Thread starter HawaiiSteveO
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ProphetSword
Explorer
You won't recapture the same feeling you had with the original group at 16, but you can create new feelings, sometimes better ones. I had a group I played with in high school and into the 1990s. Then, I had another group in the late 1990s. Then another in the 2000s. Then another in 2008. Another again in 2009. Finally, my current group started in 2012 and it still going strong.
Each of these groups was fun and I made great friends from each group.
The trick is to do more than game with them. Make plans to go to the movies (my recent group all went together to see the new Star Wars movie), get together and play board games, etc. Even age doesn't matter, as most of the players are a full 20 years younger than me, so you just have to look for those common interests with the people that you meet and game with.
Short answer: You won't ever have friends like you had when you were 16; because you're not 16. I bet even those same friends would be different now. But you can have new friends who will matter just as much.
Each of these groups was fun and I made great friends from each group.
The trick is to do more than game with them. Make plans to go to the movies (my recent group all went together to see the new Star Wars movie), get together and play board games, etc. Even age doesn't matter, as most of the players are a full 20 years younger than me, so you just have to look for those common interests with the people that you meet and game with.
Short answer: You won't ever have friends like you had when you were 16; because you're not 16. I bet even those same friends would be different now. But you can have new friends who will matter just as much.
GameOgre
Adventurer
I have found online games are a good option with some issues.
Online games like with Fantasy Grounds or even of late just with Tabletop Simulator can be very fun and in some ways better than the old days but that it's even harder to find a group of rpgers that fit well.
it took a while to find other people like me. People who wanted to game and were willing to make game night a priority. People who you can depend on to really try and make it every week to keep the game going and who also were willing to sometimes go outside of there comfort zone.
It's even easier to miss a game night when it's online and even harder once you do so of being there the next week. Once people start missing, it spells the doom of the game and everyone restarts back at ground zero. That was the most frustrating thing about online games.
Many of us had our own personal favorite rpg's. For instance I love Swords and Wizardry and really like those types of games. I have not gotten a chance to play S&W once! Instead it's D&D and Fantasy Age or Pathfinder.
You need to be open to other games that perhaps are not on your list of favorite games and be willing to move heavy and earth to make it to those game nights.
Last but not least, talking about your character and what you are looking for in others and in a group and game world are even more important than in first person games. A lot of the time it's far easier to have difficulties with people arise online because of errors in communication than face to face games. Nip those issues in the bud FAST and make sure to be friendly but direct right off the bat.
One of my best games ever was almost ruined because of a series of misunderstandings that quickly escalated into sides being chosen until one of the guys just flat out said he had been wrong and misunderstood and volunteered to leave the group. Everything worked out in the end but it was a close thing.
Keeping in touch online can be a challenge as well. People seem even more unwilling to sacrifice privacy than in face to face games. Even something as simple as a email address can set off peoples paranoia radar but keeping up with people is important to a online group.
Online games like with Fantasy Grounds or even of late just with Tabletop Simulator can be very fun and in some ways better than the old days but that it's even harder to find a group of rpgers that fit well.
it took a while to find other people like me. People who wanted to game and were willing to make game night a priority. People who you can depend on to really try and make it every week to keep the game going and who also were willing to sometimes go outside of there comfort zone.
It's even easier to miss a game night when it's online and even harder once you do so of being there the next week. Once people start missing, it spells the doom of the game and everyone restarts back at ground zero. That was the most frustrating thing about online games.
Many of us had our own personal favorite rpg's. For instance I love Swords and Wizardry and really like those types of games. I have not gotten a chance to play S&W once! Instead it's D&D and Fantasy Age or Pathfinder.
You need to be open to other games that perhaps are not on your list of favorite games and be willing to move heavy and earth to make it to those game nights.
Last but not least, talking about your character and what you are looking for in others and in a group and game world are even more important than in first person games. A lot of the time it's far easier to have difficulties with people arise online because of errors in communication than face to face games. Nip those issues in the bud FAST and make sure to be friendly but direct right off the bat.
One of my best games ever was almost ruined because of a series of misunderstandings that quickly escalated into sides being chosen until one of the guys just flat out said he had been wrong and misunderstood and volunteered to leave the group. Everything worked out in the end but it was a close thing.
Keeping in touch online can be a challenge as well. People seem even more unwilling to sacrifice privacy than in face to face games. Even something as simple as a email address can set off peoples paranoia radar but keeping up with people is important to a online group.
saskganesh
First Post
People often say they have a hard time making friends as they get older.
Fortunately, playing TTRPG's can be a good way to start making new friends. They can be huge common ground, and as recurring activities, they can lead to lengthy relationships.
I'd say find opportunities to play, approach those games in good faith, and act like a decent person.
Fortunately, playing TTRPG's can be a good way to start making new friends. They can be huge common ground, and as recurring activities, they can lead to lengthy relationships.
I'd say find opportunities to play, approach those games in good faith, and act like a decent person.
Imaculata
Hero
An old ex-girlfriend of mine once said: I want you to choose, its either me or your friends (because I didn't want her at any of our D&D nights). To which I replied:
"Considering that the average relationship usually does not last nearly as long as good friendships do, that is an easy choice. But I do not think this is an ultimatum where you'll come out as a winner. So you might want to reconsider".
Also,
"Don't ever make me choose between my friends and you, because you'll always lose that battle, and then the relationship is over."
No surprise, but that relationship didn't last very long. But yes, friendships you make early in life, can often last for the rest of your life. They are very important. I made some new friends while in my twenties, through shared hobbies and school. I don't think my age has ever stopped me from making new friends. But friendships are very important, so cherish the ones you make early in life, and stay in contact with everyone.
"Considering that the average relationship usually does not last nearly as long as good friendships do, that is an easy choice. But I do not think this is an ultimatum where you'll come out as a winner. So you might want to reconsider".
Also,
"Don't ever make me choose between my friends and you, because you'll always lose that battle, and then the relationship is over."
No surprise, but that relationship didn't last very long. But yes, friendships you make early in life, can often last for the rest of your life. They are very important. I made some new friends while in my twenties, through shared hobbies and school. I don't think my age has ever stopped me from making new friends. But friendships are very important, so cherish the ones you make early in life, and stay in contact with everyone.
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