1000 magic items Uncle Trapspringer invented

[Deedlit]

It is a little-known fact that during his 3083 years of life(At least that's what I heard from a kender who heard it from a kender who heard from Hiddukel), he knew quite a bit of magic, in addition to everything else, and was head of the conclave for 1 day(Until he wandered off. It is believed that the mages who elected him were drunk, insane, or both.). Now, post your list of magic items you think he would have made. These items should be very interesting. I'll start off

1. Dust of self-disappearance(Now where did I put that thing?)
2. Figurine of Wonderous Power(Brass Kendragon. When activated, the kendragon will summon 20 kender, then wander off to find something worth doing, unless it wishes to assist you in what you are currently doing. During combat, it will try to stop the fighting, unless either side attacks it or the kender. It can remain on this plane for 24 hours a week, served consecutively because the kendragon refuses to go back into the figurine.)

 

[Dragongirl]

3) Ring of Boredom Relief - Teleports the wearer at will to the nearest place something interesting is happening (battle, fire, etc).

 

[Dragongirl]

4) Wand of Taunts - Creats fantasmal images of kender running around the target spouting taunts.

5) Everfull Bag of Colorfull Clothing - Anyone reaching into the bag will retrieve one complete outfit of their size (limited use, once per day). The color, cut and design of the clothing is never the same and always a surprise.

6) Parchment of Automapping - Maps out wherever the bearer goes, placing notations of anything the bearer finds interesting, like 'found shiny bracelet here'. When the map covers the whole page it starts over erasing and rewriting as it goes. This causes some confusion since areas of the old map remain until overwritten. Course that is the fun part.

 

[boothbey]

7) Glasses of Hindsight - Eyeglasses worn backwards with the lenses on the back of the head. Allow the kender to run away without missing any of the action he happens to be running away from.

 

[Dragongirl]

8) Ring of Weeeeeeeeeeeee - The wearer at times is quickly thrust up 100 feet into the air (hopefully nothing is in the way), then feather falls to the ground. Non kender consider this a cursed item.

 

[Dragongirl]

9) Dust of Tickling - Target must make a save (DC 13) or spend the next 1d6 rounds giggling like a school girl and squirming.

 

[boothbey]

10) Stilt Shoes - Boots with retractable ten foot stilts built in. Because sometimes interesting things are stored above the three foot mark.

 

[Xarlen]

8) Ring of Weeeeeeeeeeeee - The wearer at times is quickly thrust up 100 feet into the air (hopefully nothing is in the way), then feather falls to the ground. Non kender consider this a cursed item.

That had me giggling.

11) Boots of skating. The underside of these boots are smooth, and any surface which is stepped on is treated as though the character were standing on ice. Balance checks allow the character to move at their full speed. Depending on the terrain these are found on, they can be a boon, or a curse. Like hill lands, or mountanious...

 

[Creamsteak]

12) Dwarf's one true bane - A glass of ail-like substance that turns anyone who drinks it into the "most interesting thing" within 100 miles to all kender.

13) Elf's one true bane - A tree that when hugged turns the hugger into a beacon for all kender in the multi-verse.

 

[Deedlit]

15. Scroll of kender armageddon. This cursed item appears to be a scroll of the spell almost every mage hopes for, one that can wipe kender from the multiverse. However, upon casting, it is revealed that the spell creates enough kender to make them the dominant race, thus causing armageddon for all non-kender.