D&D 4E Absurd 4e house rules and OGL rules list (HUMOR)-growing

[Emirikol]

OK, I'll start the absurd 4e house rule and OGL rule thread:

1. Tieflings have HUGE horns, akin to the aurox (art below!)
2. Paladin-Warlock multiclass characters must have multiple personalities
3. Halflings have size L feet
4. The ranger must be re-designed every campaign
5. OGL: A natural 21 does 100 points of damage. All 3rd party companies must produce a 21 sided die.
6. The dagger is a double weapon
7. There must be at least 5 warlords in each party (but only as henchmen)
8. All dragonborn must be spelled dragonbourne
9. AC has been eliminated for all creatures and is now a base 10, eliminating any "unfun" by PC's without a high enough BAB
10....

jh

 

[doctorhook]

10. Dragonborn females must have an odd number of breasts.

 

[Emirikol]

Doh! Good one!

BTW, here's the art for the Aurox..uh, er, Teieieiefling.

jh

 

[Emirikol]

10.5. POWER CARDS must have retro artwork and the proper smilies on them or they are not eligible for use in your deck.



Below: The Waradinpallock Prestige Class (or whatever the nc.. they're called now).

 

[Emirikol]

11. 4e Kninjas were formerly known as 3e Kobolds.
12. THIS is the list of 4e non-combat spells from SCOOPS for the PHB2. Use them until some non-combat spells come out:
http://www.duke.edu/web/DRAGO/humor/useless_spells.html
13. All characters converted from 3E immediately assume the Rage-Virus-Infected template.
14. REPEALED BECAUSE OF NEW SRD/OGL RULE
15. Your 4e character has choices..would you like to be chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?
16. No KITS!

jh

 

[Halivar]

I finally have my chance to completely house-rule the bard. Bards will only be proficient with axes, and will have a daily power called "Marshall Stack Attack" that summons a rock golem that melts people's faces off.

\oo/_ _\oo/

 

[doctormandible]

In 4e bards will more closely resemble Tupac Shakur. Featured abilities include "Hit'em up", in which the Bard points out his enemies by name, and "Changes" which will show all PCs within 10 squares that the Bard isn't the stone cold gangsta they thought he was.

 

[doctorhook]

In 4e bards will more closely resemble Tupac Shakur. Featured abilities include "Hit'em up", in which the Bard points out his enemies by name, and "Changes" which will show all PCs within 10 squares that the Bard isn't the stone cold gangsta they thought he was.

LOL

 

[Emirikol]

14. At 31st level, characters will be considered LAME and MUNCHKIN and will be subject to ridicule at will. Until that point, you may rave on and on about the high level of your twink character even though your friends really don't give a crap.

jh

 

[Clawhound]

When a paladin falls, his god comes down with a rolled up newspaper, swats him on the nose, and says, "Bad paladin. Bad!"