(Adventure) Duel between Calamar the Dark vs. the Rogue Cain (Pbartender)

[crueldespot]

"Another Fine Mess You've Gotten Us Into, Ollie"

IC:

"I made a vow. You would shake my hand or die. They were hasty words, but when I make a vow I aim to keep it. There is a third choice: You kill me first."

OOC:
It is time for the best three words in Dungeons and Dragons-

ROLL
FOR
INITIATIVE​

This is sort of a cross between "Green Eggs and Ham" and "Duel"- the 1971 Speilberg movie about two drivers who cut each other off and it escalates into a battle to the death.

"Will you shake it in the inn, will you shake it in the cell?"
"I will not, will not in the inn, I could not, would not in the cell. I do not want to shake your hand. I do not like you, Cain-I-am."

 

[Pbartender]

OOC: Before we come to blows just yet...

The shaft of light coming from the grating illuminates an inscription etched upon the iron door that you hadn't noticed before. It reads...

It takes two men to fight, and what's more...
It takes two men to open this door.
They need not be friends,
But neither foes in the end.
So they'll have to settle their score.

 

[crueldespot]

The parable of the scorpion and the frog

Cain reads the inscription. "What a wonderful policy. Shake my hand or we both will die here- one the quick way and the other of old age." The halfling advances towards Calamar with his hand still outstretched.

OOC:

Cain
1) readies an unarmed attack (standard action) with the condition "if Calamar attacks him or refuses to shake when he approaches him",
then
2) moves towards Calamar with hand outstretched (move action).

As I understand it,
When he moves within 5' of Calamar, Cain should trigger Calamar's readied spell. This would not trigger an AtO, since Cain is considered "unarmed" but would Calamar's readied action be interrupted by Cain's readied action? Cain's readied action would provoke an AtO. If Calamar took the AtO, would he lose the spell? I don't know. Let's find out...

Or something like that. Pretty convoluted.

 

[DM-Rocco]

OOC, Well, I see what Pbartender is trying to do, but I will not give into threats from a rogue who is demanding, not asking, that I shake his hand.

I am assuming that the guards, noticing that I was wounded, would have healed me, but of course, I would also assume that they would have put us in different rooms as well .

Seeing as how I have spells left and I have not been asked nicely, and I am not brought back from unconsciousness, I am going to make good on my readied action, for which the first part was cast Ray of Enfeeblement on Cain should he approach me.

That means Cain, that by you moving towards me that my readied action resolves as soon as you move towards me, before you move to within 5 feet of me, before your conditions are met. We resolve the Ray of Enfeeblement and then you move into an adjacent square.

It should go like that, however, it might go as I get my readied action to resolve, by resolving my readied action you trigger your readied action, to move towards me and attack. I doubt this is the case, but if it is the case, I get an attack of opportunity for you attacking me unarmed, in which case I take a five foot step backwards and cast my other Ray of Enfeeblement at Cain.

I would like this to be over, but you don't play nicely.

 

[Pbartender]

EDIT: The following is a rant I posted to blow off steam. It was written with grudgingly calm restraint, but even so, it proves I lost my composure as a judge and a DM when I probably shouldn't have. I wrote a few things that I probably should have kept private. Rest assured that my impartiality is in no way subverted (the rant was meant to prevent that), but it is only a reflection of pet-peeves that were getting under my nerves at the time.

I hope that no one involved takes any of this personally, and I apologize sincerely to anyone wants it. I won't delete it, so that anyone who wants to can read just what kind of an obstinate ass I can be, even when I'm holding back. I get it from my father's side of the family... Just ask my mom.

Hopefully, someone will learn a good lesson from my poor example.

OOC, Well, I see what Pbartender is trying to do

OOC: No, you don't. Otherwise, you'd both be out of the room by now.

So let me make this very clear. I (through the guards of Orussus, as they would undoubtedly have the same point of view) am treating the two of you in the very same manner as I would my 4-year-old daughter and my 6-year-old son if I caught them fighting with each other...

Let me say that again, just to make sure you understand. You are both acting like very small, poorly behaved children, and I am treating you accordingly.

I don't care who started the fight. I don't care why you were fighting. You were both fighting, so you're both in trouble. Your toys have been taken away. You've been sent to sit in the virtual corners of your virtual bedrooms. You'll stay there until you make up, say your sorry, and play nice.

This is the precise reason why so many DMs prohibit evil and chaotic neutral PCs. We made no such restriction for LEW, because we had assumed that everyone here was an adult, and could act responsibly as such. I know full well that neither of your characters are listed as evil or chaotic by alignment... But they are certainly not acting that way.

All this comes on top of several OOC comments that were made that are extraordinarily dissappointing and embarrassing to the rest of the LEW community.

EDIT: Including this one. :\

 

[Pbartender]

I am assuming that the guards, noticing that I was wounded, would have healed me, but of course, I would also assume that they would have put us in different rooms as well .

OOC: Allow me to reiterate...

Never assume anything.

Please refrain from OOC speculation on the possible outcomes of in-game actions. That's my job, not yours.

From the SRD, "If you’re unarmed, you don’t normally threaten any squares and thus can’t make attacks of opportunity." That means neither of you gets to make an AoO with your fists.

Also from the SRD, "An attack of opportunity is a single melee attack, and you can only make one per round." That means you cannot cast a spell or use a ranged weapon to make an AoO.

There is no need to roll intiative with the stated readied actions. Cain will not be close enough to Calamar to make an unarmed attack when Calamar's readied action goes off. He will complete the move and attack after the spell is cast.

As soon as the halfling begins to approach with his hand again out-stretched, Cain steps backward until he bumps against the stone wall. He throws a curse of weakness at the persistant rogue.

Cain can feel some of the strength drain from his muscles, but at the reinstatement of hostilities he hurls himself at the irate wizard. Though his fist is tiny, and his muscles are weakened, he manages to land a blow on Calamar's freshly stitched and bandaged abdomen, illiciting a wince and a gasp from the mage.

As Cain begins walking toward Calamar takes a 5' step back and casts Ray of Enfeeblement. Ranged Touch Attack: 20 +1 = 21. Effect: -2 Strength penalty.

Cain moves up to Calamar and makes an unarmed attack. Attack: 15 +0 = 15. Damage: 1 nonlethal. Calamar is still at 2 hit points.

 

[crueldespot]

OOC:

I (through the guards of Orussus, as they would undoubtedly have the same point of view) am treating the two of you in the very same manner as I would my 4-year-old daughter and my 6-year-old son if I caught them fighting with each other...

You would referee them in a deathmatch? Dude, that is pretty weird.

Edit: Upon reflection, I should add:
D&D is set in ancient times. We say "sticks and stones " now, but in the old days, an insult led to a fight, and a serious insult among armed warriors led to a duel.

Good D&D has dramatic endings. If neither of us ever leaves the cell, that would be kind of cool. Some of the best stories don't have happy endings. Look at Shakespeare.

 

[Otakkun]

I just hope this ends with these charcters. I'm sure we'd all hate to see this repeat itself.

/me shrugs.

In the end .. what was the point? Would've you done the same witha 5th level character it took you a year to play to get there?

 

[DM-Rocco]

Calamar the Dark looks at the weakend rogue, a far cry from his hopes, but the spell worked as intented. He steps back and studies the rogue.


"Cain, it appears that you still don't get it," he said, "you never asked nicely. Say the magic word," and with that he raised one hand out stretched towards the rogue, almost in the shape of a hand begging to be shaken, while the other held high, as if ready to cast a spell.

OOC, take a five foot step back and ready an action to cast another ray of Enfeeblement on Cain should he approach without saying "please shake my hand" or something to that effect.

Yes, I do understand what you are saying, it may seem childish to you, but to the two of us it is honor and for the record, my guy is Lawful Good, (and yes I know that you know that) in spite of what we have said together OOC I was going to try and resolve things with words, not action, as is evedent by the fact that I never harmed him, even when I had the chance, like after he back stabbed me, and also that I offered to have seconds (who, in traditional duels, try and resolve the duel without blood shed).

I always readied an action to harm him if he tried to harm me further, because words should have been more than enough. You may disagree with what each of us is trying to do, but we have different feelings on the subject. Personnaly I hate this player versus player crap, it is bad for the game and no one wins in the end, but it has started, we have fought and we are in the middle of that fight. It could end with his next action, we may both rot and die in prison, that is for us to decide, I know what you are trying to do, unfortunately, it is not up to you.

 

[crueldespot]

Cain's hand is no longer reached out for shaking. He continues to attack. The handshake offer has expired.

OOC:

PBryant wrote:

All this comes on top of several OOC comments that were made that are extraordinarily dissappointing and embarrassing to the rest of the LEW community.

I challenge you to find any such OOC post by me. There isn't one. I have been very even-tempered and polite. The only OOC comments that have been "out of line" were
#1- Rocco's "I'm gonna get you sucka" post (which didn't really bother me that much and I was the target) and
#2- The OOC post that you just made to us.

Let me say that again, just to make sure you understand. You are both acting like very small, poorly behaved children, and I am treating you accordingly.

No, PBryant- you are angry because we have both refused to play along with your trite afterschool-special ending, and you are throwing a temper tantrum. It's obvious that you disapprove of any PC vs PC conflict, so you volunteered to DM this in order to "teach us a lesson." I'm not playing ball. Your condescending sermon is not appreciated, and the fact that you blew your cool as DM makes me wonder how you would have handled this as a player.