renau1g
First Post
"Yes your parents sent us on this fool's errand. They'r all in tears about you bein' gone, came a'running here just ta see if ya were ok, guess ya weren't, but good thing Mr. Sparkle came" Murphy grumbles to the girl
Adventure: Just Before Nightfall (DM:johnmeier1, Judge:Ozymandias79)
"Yes your parents sent us on this fool's errand. They'r all in tears about you bein' gone, came a'running here just ta see if ya were ok, guess ya weren't, but good thing Mr. Sparkle came" Murphy grumbles to the girl
OnlytheStrong
Explorer
"Well fun, we fought a vampire so that a vampire could kill him. Nice touch with the head snapping thing. All I was doing was creating a breeze over here."
johnmeier1
Explorer
[sblock=KenHood] Two fangs, Sir Tonk, two...[/sblock]
OnlytheStrong
Explorer
Shorrin shrugs, turns and walks back down the path intent on heading back to the tavern.
johnmeier1
Explorer
As you begin to leave, the girl bids farewell to her paramour and keeps your company through the dark forest back to her home.
[sblock=OOC] The girl will return to her town with you and to her parents, if anyone is interested in that reunion I will post it. If not, just head back to the Hanged Man
FYI, you did kill the vampire with damage, but if you felt like side characters in this storyline with the ending it was intentional. Can't always be the hero/heroes
[/sblock]
[sblock=OOC] The girl will return to her town with you and to her parents, if anyone is interested in that reunion I will post it. If not, just head back to the Hanged Man
FYI, you did kill the vampire with damage, but if you felt like side characters in this storyline with the ending it was intentional. Can't always be the hero/heroes
[/sblock]
Tonk pockets the two fangs, and then looks up to see that everyone has departed. He rushes outside.
"Hey! Where everybody go?! Hey!"
He catches up to Murphy and the girl.
"Hey! Where is boyfriend of you?" he asks the girl, "I want to tell him he stupid jerk kill-steal! But maybe I see him later, yes?"
"Okay, then, I tell you this: You is selfish spoil jerk-girl! Mama and Papa of you worry sick because of you run around with vampire-boy, but you no care. I bet vampire boy show up all like mystery and say, 'I is sad, lonely vampire-boy. I live forever and nobody understand me, so I is super-sad. What even more sad is my heart is dead heart that no beat, so it no can love.' And you say, 'Oh, sad vampire boy, I is sad and nobody understand me either. But even though you heart be dead heart, I make it beat with love!' And he say, 'Yes! Yes! Sad lonely girl, you do make me love, but we no can be together because I is vampire and you is no vampire.' But you say, 'No, it no matter! We love forever!' So you sometimes is together, sometimes is apart, sometimes is together, and sometimes is apart. And it all seem like super-important, bittersweet romance of all time, yes? So when you is together, he grope you and suck blood of you and sometimes make whoopee, but then he tell you sad story about how sad for to be vampire and have to leave, yes?"
"Uh-huh. See, I know story of you. You know how? MY GRANDPAPA IS VAMPIRE! He do this all time! He look like he young boy-man, but he more old than dirt! You know what he say? He say, 'Tonk, stupid human girl always fall for old sob story about how hard for to be vampire. I make the whoopee with human girl, and when I get tire of human girl, I tell her we no can be together because I is vampire. She get all sad and beg me stay, but I go...and find OTHER human girl for a while and make the whoopee with her. Then, when I get tire of her, I go back to old human girl, unless she get little fat or ugly. Is most old trick in book! And ALWAYS work!' See? You no special super-sad love story! You silly girl who fall for trick, and also for the vampire mind-control, because vampire control mind, yes?"
"I bet you even ask vampire-boy to make you vampire, too. And I bet he say, 'No.' Yes? You know why? Because he have more other girl on side and no want to spend eternity with whiny spoil girl!"
"Someday, when you old or little fat or no pretty, vampire-boy no come back, and you get so sad that maybe you kill self, but if you no kill self, you look back on waste of whole youth. You no have family. You estrange from Mama and Papa. You no make the baby, because vampire no make the baby with the human. You is old and alone. And when you die, nobody mourn, especially not vampire-boy who have new girlfriend who more pretty than you!"
"So you think about that, spoil girl! You change heart of you, and be nice to Mama and Papa!"
Tonk stomps away from the girl, muttering to himself in Giantish.
When he arrives at her home, he requests a letter of reference from her parents, citing his fine job performance, reliability, and professionalism.
"Hey! Where everybody go?! Hey!"
He catches up to Murphy and the girl.
"Hey! Where is boyfriend of you?" he asks the girl, "I want to tell him he stupid jerk kill-steal! But maybe I see him later, yes?"
"Okay, then, I tell you this: You is selfish spoil jerk-girl! Mama and Papa of you worry sick because of you run around with vampire-boy, but you no care. I bet vampire boy show up all like mystery and say, 'I is sad, lonely vampire-boy. I live forever and nobody understand me, so I is super-sad. What even more sad is my heart is dead heart that no beat, so it no can love.' And you say, 'Oh, sad vampire boy, I is sad and nobody understand me either. But even though you heart be dead heart, I make it beat with love!' And he say, 'Yes! Yes! Sad lonely girl, you do make me love, but we no can be together because I is vampire and you is no vampire.' But you say, 'No, it no matter! We love forever!' So you sometimes is together, sometimes is apart, sometimes is together, and sometimes is apart. And it all seem like super-important, bittersweet romance of all time, yes? So when you is together, he grope you and suck blood of you and sometimes make whoopee, but then he tell you sad story about how sad for to be vampire and have to leave, yes?"
"Uh-huh. See, I know story of you. You know how? MY GRANDPAPA IS VAMPIRE! He do this all time! He look like he young boy-man, but he more old than dirt! You know what he say? He say, 'Tonk, stupid human girl always fall for old sob story about how hard for to be vampire. I make the whoopee with human girl, and when I get tire of human girl, I tell her we no can be together because I is vampire. She get all sad and beg me stay, but I go...and find OTHER human girl for a while and make the whoopee with her. Then, when I get tire of her, I go back to old human girl, unless she get little fat or ugly. Is most old trick in book! And ALWAYS work!' See? You no special super-sad love story! You silly girl who fall for trick, and also for the vampire mind-control, because vampire control mind, yes?"
"I bet you even ask vampire-boy to make you vampire, too. And I bet he say, 'No.' Yes? You know why? Because he have more other girl on side and no want to spend eternity with whiny spoil girl!"
"Someday, when you old or little fat or no pretty, vampire-boy no come back, and you get so sad that maybe you kill self, but if you no kill self, you look back on waste of whole youth. You no have family. You estrange from Mama and Papa. You no make the baby, because vampire no make the baby with the human. You is old and alone. And when you die, nobody mourn, especially not vampire-boy who have new girlfriend who more pretty than you!"
"So you think about that, spoil girl! You change heart of you, and be nice to Mama and Papa!"
Tonk stomps away from the girl, muttering to himself in Giantish.
When he arrives at her home, he requests a letter of reference from her parents, citing his fine job performance, reliability, and professionalism.
Last edited:
johnmeier1
Explorer
Charles and Nene are relieved to find her returned and thank you amazingly. They pay you what they can and give Tonk a letter. Before you depart you hear them talking about sending her to relatives of theirs in Allaria...
[sblock=OOC] Great monologue, KenHood. It only adds to the parody!
I have put in for approval an adventure "The Darkest Night" for approval. It is for a party of 5-6 characters average 4th level. Feel free to wait around in the tavern, but I hope you will considering playing in the sequel[/sblock]
[sblock=OOC] Great monologue, KenHood. It only adds to the parody!
I have put in for approval an adventure "The Darkest Night" for approval. It is for a party of 5-6 characters average 4th level. Feel free to wait around in the tavern, but I hope you will considering playing in the sequel[/sblock]
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