jasper
Rotten DM
Dudes! The Bard is Sick. He is the original Super Freak. Let me explain. No too long! Let me sum up! The big mayor pig has declared martial law. And there isn't no Jackie Chan or former late night show host around. First all we spend the night with Ember corpse. Hello DEAD HUMANS smell worst than wet hippies.
Dudes then they send the bard out to find a way to hide the body. And bard blows it he gets hassle everywhere by the pigs. Finally he brings in the huge chest. And .
Dudes it sick.
It's awful.
They cram Ember the Smelly into the chest. And everyone lets the bard drag out the hall and down the stairs. Lucky the staff is dumber than house cats. One of the waiters helps load the chest into the wagon. He finds an empty warehouse and tosses the chest in.
Meanwhile Glimmer Gutless the Swift is chanting with his god. Lo and be hold Ma Bell comes through. Thirty seconds later the cleric of Pelor is holding four potions. This cool cleric is trying to OTHER people to drink the potions. Someone is a little slow on the trust in god kind here. Well Floppy and I stay at the inn and Tickle berry, Billing, Kill win, and Glimmer Gutless drink the potion. About a half hour later the flaming nightlight dies out from the Pelor temple. They return and tell us to collect our things. They have away out. I should have smelled trouble. But no one listen to me.
Half the party is invisible and the rest of us are trying to act cool. Billing the firebug waits to the pig patrol is out of sight. Then he and Kill win (ewwk break legs of the dead bad karma dudes) start a warehouse on fire! I hope it was not the one with Ember's corpse in it. Then Billing is tell everyone to jump in the manhole.
Dudes the sewer was tiny. Even the halflings were having trouble with the roof. I heard that adventuring can be a stinking job but there no reason to swim in it.
Well we make out near the halfling riverboat floats and bridge. The hot dogs don't bother us! I wish I could have been up wind of myself. Talk about raising a big stink. The party swims to other shore. And just we about to land. The river eats a dog. Never knew Elf Babe and Tickle beer could teleport! Of course we were all leaving brown stains behind.
Halfling grandma lets get a bath before we can lay down some patter about recruits. Granny does not dig it but her son does and the party turns up their nose at him. The party Dee Dees out to Hartford. Lays the cash down on Steward of Beer Hall they own him. Then they buy more war dogs. And Some how Kill win the bard gets Larry and most of his fighting school to join us. The boy can come off smooth. But now we got a halfling horde with a dog pack back up.
It been over seven days since we left Briniford I hope the mayor pig has choked on a doughnut. But we a mile away from that bridge and the party has not come up with a GOOD plan to enter the town.
Dudes then they send the bard out to find a way to hide the body. And bard blows it he gets hassle everywhere by the pigs. Finally he brings in the huge chest. And .
Dudes it sick.
It's awful.
They cram Ember the Smelly into the chest. And everyone lets the bard drag out the hall and down the stairs. Lucky the staff is dumber than house cats. One of the waiters helps load the chest into the wagon. He finds an empty warehouse and tosses the chest in.
Meanwhile Glimmer Gutless the Swift is chanting with his god. Lo and be hold Ma Bell comes through. Thirty seconds later the cleric of Pelor is holding four potions. This cool cleric is trying to OTHER people to drink the potions. Someone is a little slow on the trust in god kind here. Well Floppy and I stay at the inn and Tickle berry, Billing, Kill win, and Glimmer Gutless drink the potion. About a half hour later the flaming nightlight dies out from the Pelor temple. They return and tell us to collect our things. They have away out. I should have smelled trouble. But no one listen to me.
Half the party is invisible and the rest of us are trying to act cool. Billing the firebug waits to the pig patrol is out of sight. Then he and Kill win (ewwk break legs of the dead bad karma dudes) start a warehouse on fire! I hope it was not the one with Ember's corpse in it. Then Billing is tell everyone to jump in the manhole.
Dudes the sewer was tiny. Even the halflings were having trouble with the roof. I heard that adventuring can be a stinking job but there no reason to swim in it.
Well we make out near the halfling riverboat floats and bridge. The hot dogs don't bother us! I wish I could have been up wind of myself. Talk about raising a big stink. The party swims to other shore. And just we about to land. The river eats a dog. Never knew Elf Babe and Tickle beer could teleport! Of course we were all leaving brown stains behind.
Halfling grandma lets get a bath before we can lay down some patter about recruits. Granny does not dig it but her son does and the party turns up their nose at him. The party Dee Dees out to Hartford. Lays the cash down on Steward of Beer Hall they own him. Then they buy more war dogs. And Some how Kill win the bard gets Larry and most of his fighting school to join us. The boy can come off smooth. But now we got a halfling horde with a dog pack back up.
It been over seven days since we left Briniford I hope the mayor pig has choked on a doughnut. But we a mile away from that bridge and the party has not come up with a GOOD plan to enter the town.