Ceramic DM- The Renewal ( Final judgement posted)
BSF
Explorer
orchid blossom said:Has someone been sending you pictures?? Seriously, this reputation I have still confounds me.
You keep saying this, but you also consistently put together good stories. Yeah, maybe you haven't won a Ceramic DM title, yet. But you have been in the finals. Which is more than I can say actually.
I will get to your story soon and comment in the Spectator's thread.
much wailing and gnashing of teeth
Why do I find it easier to string random pictures together in a story than to do a chapter summary of my novel?!?! Sorry. Just a bit frustrated with myself. The deadline is looming for the WoTC novel open call.
As a nod to the judges, no matter how long it takes to get judgements posted, it is still shorter than waiting to hear from a publisher. And it is somehow more satisfying to refresh the screen all the time than to wait for a phone call
Why do I find it easier to string random pictures together in a story than to do a chapter summary of my novel?!?! Sorry. Just a bit frustrated with myself. The deadline is looming for the WoTC novel open call.
As a nod to the judges, no matter how long it takes to get judgements posted, it is still shorter than waiting to hear from a publisher. And it is somehow more satisfying to refresh the screen all the time than to wait for a phone call
Thorod Ashstaff
First Post
Piratecat said:
Can't speak for Rodrigo, but you can have my movie rights!
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
Piratecat said:I've sent in Thorod vs Rodrigo. Do I get to make a movie about either of these concepts?
Depends on your vote!
alsih2o
First Post
Bazz-
Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo Istalindir
Thorod Ashstaff gets my vote for destroying Hogwarts
Piratecat-
Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo Istalindir
I apologize for this being a little shorter than normal. I thought I’d
rather err on the side of brevity instead of making you wait any longer.
It's been that kind of week.
Thorod Ashstaff:
I’ll start by pointing out the one logical flaw that could have been easily
resolved: right after Angela claims that she can’t pass into another
universe because she’ll be arrested if she shows up at CERN, she goes to
CERN and runs the process. That’s the kind of logic hole that drives fans of
sci-fi movies nuts.
You may want to try integrating verbal tics into your characters’
conversations to help liven up the speech. It came across as somewhat flat
and a little bit stilted, with no unique rhythm for the different
characters. This was especially noticeable in the middle section when Vicki
arrives and the story goes into a lull from which it never quite recovers.
Other than that, the story was excellent. Imaginative use of photos, a very
creative concept, and a good ending twist. Vicki needs a little more
integration into the earlier part of the story, as does the concept of
Alt-Monte. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting idea that ends up being
executed with flair.
Rodrigo Istalindir:
Another good story. I liked the conversation, the concept, and the imagery.
Glen is a believable character, and his ennui with the job is a nice
counterpoint to the action that happens later in the piece.
The ending seemed slightly unbelievable; it’s hard to believe that Becky and
Glen can get away with what happened, especially in a world with video
cameras in museums that would certainly be checked. The surprise ending is a
nice touch, though.
Judgment:
[sblock]Although Thorod’s story was extremely good for anyone, never mind a
first-time competitor, my judgment goes to Rodrigo. His basic concept of
ghoulism isn’t quite as inspired as Thorod’s alternate-world time travel,
but the pace of the story and the way in which it’s told slightly pushes it
past the finish line.[/sblock]
Alsih2o-
Thorod Ashstaff: Wow! All that conversation, several characters, lots of tech speak and you pulled it off without making me wince once.
[DarthVaderVoice] Impressive, most impressive[/DVV]
I like the idea of the story, I relate to the main character, I was bullied into believing the techno-babble. Now many weaknesses here.
The picture scenes each just come up once, but you have still managed to make each one seem very important. I am very impressed.
Rodrigo Istalandir: Wow! Another great one. This is a really string story with a bit too quick and ending maybe. The company seems believeable, the characters are relatable and the conversations go off amazingly smoothly.
Judgement- [sblock] Did anyone else notice the “Savini” to Savinio” connection? I found it odd. These are 2 powerful and interesting stories, both deserve to advance. The problem is only one can and I have to give my vote ot the newcomer Thorod, for slightly stronger pic use.[/sblock]
Decision: [sblock] Thorod Ashstaff pulls off a surprise and takes down Rodrigo ‘The Veteran’ Istalindir in a split decision![/sblock]
Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo Istalindir
Thorod Ashstaff gets my vote for destroying Hogwarts
Piratecat-
Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo Istalindir
I apologize for this being a little shorter than normal. I thought I’d
rather err on the side of brevity instead of making you wait any longer.
It's been that kind of week.
Thorod Ashstaff:
I’ll start by pointing out the one logical flaw that could have been easily
resolved: right after Angela claims that she can’t pass into another
universe because she’ll be arrested if she shows up at CERN, she goes to
CERN and runs the process. That’s the kind of logic hole that drives fans of
sci-fi movies nuts.
You may want to try integrating verbal tics into your characters’
conversations to help liven up the speech. It came across as somewhat flat
and a little bit stilted, with no unique rhythm for the different
characters. This was especially noticeable in the middle section when Vicki
arrives and the story goes into a lull from which it never quite recovers.
Other than that, the story was excellent. Imaginative use of photos, a very
creative concept, and a good ending twist. Vicki needs a little more
integration into the earlier part of the story, as does the concept of
Alt-Monte. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting idea that ends up being
executed with flair.
Rodrigo Istalindir:
Another good story. I liked the conversation, the concept, and the imagery.
Glen is a believable character, and his ennui with the job is a nice
counterpoint to the action that happens later in the piece.
The ending seemed slightly unbelievable; it’s hard to believe that Becky and
Glen can get away with what happened, especially in a world with video
cameras in museums that would certainly be checked. The surprise ending is a
nice touch, though.
Judgment:
[sblock]Although Thorod’s story was extremely good for anyone, never mind a
first-time competitor, my judgment goes to Rodrigo. His basic concept of
ghoulism isn’t quite as inspired as Thorod’s alternate-world time travel,
but the pace of the story and the way in which it’s told slightly pushes it
past the finish line.[/sblock]
Alsih2o-
Thorod Ashstaff: Wow! All that conversation, several characters, lots of tech speak and you pulled it off without making me wince once.
[DarthVaderVoice] Impressive, most impressive[/DVV]
I like the idea of the story, I relate to the main character, I was bullied into believing the techno-babble. Now many weaknesses here.
The picture scenes each just come up once, but you have still managed to make each one seem very important. I am very impressed.
Rodrigo Istalandir: Wow! Another great one. This is a really string story with a bit too quick and ending maybe. The company seems believeable, the characters are relatable and the conversations go off amazingly smoothly.
Judgement- [sblock] Did anyone else notice the “Savini” to Savinio” connection? I found it odd. These are 2 powerful and interesting stories, both deserve to advance. The problem is only one can and I have to give my vote ot the newcomer Thorod, for slightly stronger pic use.[/sblock]
Decision: [sblock] Thorod Ashstaff pulls off a surprise and takes down Rodrigo ‘The Veteran’ Istalindir in a split decision![/sblock]
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