Change a letter, ruin a spell - Xanathar edition!

[Riley37]

Maddening Dorkness: Forces everyone within the area of effect to debate the finer points of a niche culture.

This spell was SO much better in 4E.

 

[Yaarel]

Shape Later − compels target to keep on postponing the dieting and working out.

 

[Gardens & Goblins]

Continual Blame - All spouses, mother in laws and significant others receive this spell at character creation.

 

[Dausuul]

Crown of Sears: Become the furniture king.

Down: Highly effective against flying creatures and dogs.

Fine Greater Steed: Who among us, in their heart of hearts, has never yearned to give a paladin a parking ticket?

Primordial Card: If druids wear metal armor, they have this spell taken away.

Shadow of Mail: Inspires the subject with the low, constant dread of waiting to hear back after sending in a jury duty questionnaire.

 

[Blue]

Maddening Dorkness: Forces everyone within the area of effect to debate the finer points of a niche culture.

This spell was SO much better in 4E.

You've got to be kidding me! If you took this in 3.5ed along with the Small Forest Beasts Against Dorkness gnomish paladin level substitution and the Child of Dorkness PrC it was sooooooo much better then it ever was in 4e as long as you maxed out your skill ranks in Inane Trivia - but luckily that was a class skill.

 

[Blue]

Blame Arrows - when your archer just can't hit.

Catnip - obvious effects

Spywrite - encodes secret messages

Mend Spike - after your bard bends all the tent spikes. Again.

Maximilian's earthen grass - "No really, it will grow in." *sigh*

Earthband - Summons a group of minstrels who serenade you with ecologically-friendly songs.

Ace knife - it's sharp, look at that thing slice tomatoes

Cause bear - look out, it's raiding our food!

Wall of sight - whoa, would you stop and look at that.

Spill empowerment - okay, that's just silly.

Thunder stop - get a good night's rest, or at least stop scaring the children and pets.

 

[MNblockhead]

Man, I have to pull all these together and look for any threads that do the same with the PHB spells.

I would be a great curse. Or better, have some Fey or Far Realm creature the players encounter that warps any spell cast on it. A lot of work for one encounter, but boy would it be a fun encounter.

It would be fun to have the effects also apply to class abilities. The Barbarian goes into a rage but instead finds himself a sage (advantage on INT and WIS skill checks and saves). Etc.

 

[Voi_D_ragon]

Gist-allows you to communicate simple concepts telepathycally

Wall of Might- summons a wall of living flesh that looks like a set of chiseled abs

Cause Gear- summons a backpak of your choice. Or a single spoked wheel, as you prefer.

Warding Wine- summons a bottle of liquor that, when splashed on the ground, creates a safe space where you can game away from real life's distractions

 

[rgoodbb]

Did anyone do Wife Transference yet? I have a....friend who really needs that spell.

Dealing Spirit - There's just some fix's the living can't get there hands on.

Ingestation - From the Dealing Spirit?

Create Binfire - For communal Street Heat

 

[The Grassy Gnoll]

Man, I have to pull all these together and look for any threads that do the same with the PHB spells.

I would be a great curse. Or better, have some Fey or Far Realm creature the players encounter that warps any spell cast on it. A lot of work for one encounter, but boy would it be a fun encounter.

It would be fun to have the effects also apply to class abilities. The Barbarian goes into a rage but instead finds himself a sage (advantage on INT and WIS skill checks and saves). Etc.

I did make one before but couldn’t find it - if you have more luck/patience than me, link to it here!