Converting Creatures from Other Campaign Settings

[Cleon]

True enough. As I said, I don't mind the change.

Updating the Working Draft following the Precepts of the New Peoples' Revolution!

Any suggestions for the background text?

 

[Shade]

Here's a stab at the flavor text...

Spider-destriers are bizarre hybrids of warhorses and monstrous spiders. Their origins are attributed to priestesses of Lolth, and they are among the favored mounts of many drow communities.

Spider-destriers are carnivorous, preying primarily on small subterranean herbivores. If food grows scarce, spider-destriers are known to devour their own weak and young.

Herds of spider-destriers roam large subterranean web pastures, where the webs of spiders have accumulated over centuries. It is on these webs that the spider horses roam. In the wild, their social organization is identical to that of horses.

In Dragonlance
In the Dragonlance campaign setting, spider-destriers dwell in the demiplane known as the Deathdark, where Jiathuli, Queen of the drow, was exiled.

 

[Cleon]

Here's a stab at the flavor text...

Spider-destriers are bizarre hybrids of warhorses and monstrous spiders. Their origins are attributed to priestesses of Lolth, and they are among the favored mounts of many drow communities.

Spider-destriers are carnivorous, preying primarily on small subterranean herbivores. If food grows scarce, spider-destriers are known to devour their own weak and young.

Herds of spider-destriers roam large subterranean web pastures, where the webs of spiders have accumulated over centuries. It is on these webs that the spider horses roam. In the wild, their social organization is identical to that of horses.

In Dragonlance
In the Dragonlance campaign setting, spider-destriers dwell in the demiplane known as the Deathdark, where Jiathuli, Queen of the drow, was exiled.

That looks pretty good, except for redundancy of "Herds of spider-destriers roam large subterranean web pastures, where the webs of spiders have accumulated over centuries. It is on these webs that the spider horses roam. "

So, they roam on the web pastures they roam on, do they?

Also, I wonder whether "Spider-destriers are a bizarre hybrid of warhorses and monstrous spiders" reads better, but it's fine as-is. It depends on whether there are multiple breeds of hybrid or just one.

 

[Shade]

That looks pretty good, except for redundancy of "Herds of spider-destriers roam large subterranean web pastures, where the webs of spiders have accumulated over centuries. It is on these webs that the spider horses roam. "

So, they roam on the web pastures they roam on, do they?

D'oh! That last sentence was a legacy of the original I was reworking.

Also, I wonder whether "Spider-destriers are a bizarre hybrid of warhorses and monstrous spiders" reads better, but it's fine as-is. It depends on whether there are multiple breeds of hybrid or just one.

I have no strong preference either way.

 

[Cleon]

A further thought: the "and they are among the favored mounts of many drow communities" can easily lose a few words.

D'oh! That last sentence was a legacy of the original I was reworking.

It's not like I haven't done the same in my time.

I have no strong preference either way.

So, are we OK with:

Spider-destriers are a bizarre hybrid of warhorse and monstrous spider. Their origins are attributed to priestesses of Lolth, and they are favored mounts in many drow communities.

Herds of spider-destriers roam large subterranean web pastures, where the webs of spiders have accumulated over centuries. In the wild, their social organization is identical to that of horses.

Spider-destriers are carnivorous, preying primarily on small subterranean herbivores. If food grows scarce, spider-destriers are known to devour their own weak and young.

In Dragonlance
In the Dragonlance campaign setting, spider-destriers dwell in the demiplane known as the Deathdark, where Jiathuli, Queen of the drow, was exiled.

 

[freyar]

Looks pretty good, but then we might want to remove the "bizarre hybrid" wording from the descriptive text. Maybe, "An equine grafted onto an arachnid" or somesuch?

 

[Cleon]

Looks pretty good, but then we might want to remove the "bizarre hybrid" wording from the descriptive text. Maybe, "An equine grafted onto an arachnid" or somesuch?

I like the "bizarre hybrid" better. If you really want to change it I'd be OK with "unnatural chimera" or something similar.

 

[freyar]

I just don't want "bizarre hybrid" twice. "Unnatural chimera" can work in either spot.

 

[Shade]

I just don't want "bizarre hybrid" twice. "Unnatural chimera" can work in either spot.

I'll also accept "odd mix" or "strange blend".

 

[Cleon]

I just don't want "bizarre hybrid" twice. "Unnatural chimera" can work in either spot.

Pardon? I only see a single "bizarre hybrid", where's the other one?