Expectations/gamer courtesy

[kenobi65]

My new group doesn't bring anything. NOTHING!

I think you've stumbled into a nest of stereotypical gamers. Though, the no books / dice is just a headscratcher to me...I've never seen players who didn't at least have a PHB (or the equivalent) and some dice.

A few of the players are pretty experienced gamers, and we're all definitely adults. I mean, most of the players bring no books or dice, relying completely on my generosity for everything they need to be entertained for a period of time. (This is a bit of an exaggeration, I have one player that usually brings one snack for himself, like dried fruit or a sandwich, that he then shares because no one else brought anything, and a new player that does bring dice/books.) I still feel obligated to get a pack of soda and a couple bags of snack, but am starting to resent it.

Is it common courtesy to bring supplies/snacks when you game? (friendly gaming at a DM's house, not tournament or game-store play with strangers or anything like that.)

I absolutely think so. I've played in a half-dozen groups over the past 23 years, and I've rarely, if ever, seen many people who lack this little bit of courtesy. Then again, the more I read ENWorld, the more I think I've been really lucky in the people I've gamed with.

That said, I *do* sometimes have someone ask to bum a soda, or whatever...and some people (myself included) are better at bringing communal snacks than others are. But, I've never seen much total freeloading...and, if it went on long-term, I think I would have to say something.

Any suggestions for addressing this with my players?

Yeah...tell them, in a kind way, that you don't expect to be the one entirely footing the bill for food and drink, and that you think it'd be fair to either (a) have it be BYO, or (b) have people chip in. Not that it needs to necessarily be an even split, esp. if you do have people who are less "liquid" (I agree, they are out there, there's one like that in one of our groups), but "from each according to his ability," as it were.

 

[diaglo]

here is where you can find the answer to your question: http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=152394

 

[Belen]

I usually provide sodas for my group, but only do snacks on special occassions. It has been a long time since I gamed with people who brought snacks to a game on a regular basis, but then, we normally game on a weeknight after work, so people cannot really keep things in their car all day long.

 

[StupidSmurf]

Observations:

1. Sometimes people bring their dinner over. One of our players is Vegan, sometimes others just want something different than what we're ordering (we usually order pizza, or subs, or some such...). That stuff, clearly no one expects to share.

2. Sometimes, our gamers bring big bags of chips, Doritos, beef jerky, whatever...and put it out on the game table for all to consume. Drinks are an exception, since it seems that everyone in the group seems to like something different, so people pretty much BYOD.

3. This fall/winter, my wife and I have put out a large crock pot full of spice hot cider for our group. We've also fed our gamers on occasion, and at times have served spaghetti, chili, and once even a turkey dinner. But then again, our gamers have also sometimes given us presents right out of the blue...one of my gamers GAVE me an Underdark miniatures package recently!

4. We've had one of our gamers host every game over last summer because he has a house with lots of room, plus a back deck and BBQ. He's sprung for the steaks and other goodies, although others brought stuff as well. Awfully generous guy. Another of our gamers actually PAID for the entire order of pizza and subs our group ordered during one session.

5. This all having been said, I guess one can see that in our group, we all share as much as we can. No one keeps track of who's done what, but somehow it all comes out in the wash, you know?

6. It's considered a serious breach of etiquette to refuse to share your goodies and yet you help yourself to the general stuff. One of my former gamers did this until someone else dressed him down. Chastened, he repented.

7. Another former gamer was a real cheapskate. Once upon a time, I used to keep a gallon bottle of cheap cianti or burgundy around, and sometimes during a game I'd have a glass or two. Cheapskate's girlfriend enjoyed red wine too, and so I ended up sharing with her, so she would often drink a bunch of glasses as well. Well, one day, before our game, I realized I was out of cianti, and I knew cheapskate and GF would be passing the liquor store. I asked them to swing by and pick up a bottle. They did, and of course, the GF had a nice share of it, and of course, Cheapskate approaches me and wants the full price. Cheap astardbay.

 

[Chaldfont]

Half the time my wife and I cook dinner for our group (all long-time friends) before we play. The other half we go out or order pizza. The guys bring snacks and many times wine, beer or soda. Anything in my fridge is fair game: soda, homebrew, juice, whatever. The guys usually overpay or buy beers for me to make up for all the times they got the homecooking. They are good guys.

Game with friends. Friends don't mooch (much) from friends. If they do, you give them grief until they feel guity and start bringing their share. If they aren't friends, kick them to the curb--time's too precious to play with people you don't like.

 

[Kheti sa-Menik]

Well, the snack/soda thing...it's up for interpretation.

But no books or dice? Unacceptable. Food/drink you can do without, but gaming materials?
If I show up at a game without:
Pen and Pencil
Dice
Character Sheet/Character Record
Scrap Paper
The books that my character uses abilities from
PHB

I feel like I'm not pulling my weight in the group, and isn't fully prepared, which is an insult to my fellow players and the GM.

I would address this issue firmly and immediately with your group.
They must come prepared and ready to game.


Edit: I didn't address the food thing. The group I play primarily with has been together in one form or another for over two years and one guy I've known for 15 years. We're all friends. We have kind of fell into a routine...I stop and get three 2 liters of pop, whatever is on sale; another guy brings snacks, the guy's who's house we play at provides utensils, plastic cups, plates, etc. It's worked for us, and it's not even something we think about anymore to discuss. Although lately, one of the other player is also bringing soda recently so we will have more than we need.

 

[Crothian]

No dice, books, etc is unacceptiable. Peopel are and should be expected to have their own books, dice and supplies to play the game.

 

[francisca]

My group, except for one cheapskate, is very generous. They always bring way too much food, and I end up tossing some of it before the next game night rolls around.

Not only that, they all chipped in $25 and gave me $125 total for X-mas to put toward my GenCon fund for next summer.

So, werk, tell those cheap bastards to pony up!

 

[frankthedm]

I don't pay for pizza most of the times it is ordered, but since I paid for 80% of the books and 99% of the minis we use, I feel I have chipped in plenty

 

[devilbat]

So my questions are:
Is it common courtesy to bring supplies/snacks when you game? (friendly gaming at a DM's house, not tournament or game-store play with strangers or anything like that.)
Any suggestions for addressing this with my players?

I don't expect the person who is hosting our weekly game to provide anything but a place to play.

Each individual is expected to supply his own PHB, dice, paper, pen, etc, and dinner/snack. We do collect $2 per game, per group member, which goes to new books, miniatures, and the odd beer and pizza night.