Female gamers: Weal or woe?

[Gailbraithe]

You appear now to have completely revised and even reversed your position, suggesting subtle, polite and well-mannered flirting instead of being a living embodiment of the Big Bad Wolf a la Tex Avery.

Okay, whatever, not going to argue the point with you. I just...you're implying that assuming by "hyper-competitive jackasses" meant acting like a cartoon character which is itself a ridiculous exaggeration is a reasonable assumption. And yeah, I disagree. I think it's rather insulting assumption.

Anyways even polite, subtle, well-mannered flirting can quickly turn a night of fun and light gaming uncomfortable when there are multiple people involved. I don't want to end up flirting with the same girl my best friend is flirting with. There's nothing good that can come of that. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

 

[palecur]

Anyways even polite, subtle, well-mannered flirting can quickly turn a night of fun and light gaming uncomfortable when there are multiple people involved.

Only if everyone involved is emotionally 17.

I don't want to end up flirting with the same girl my best friend is flirting with. There's nothing good that can come of that. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

You guys seriously need to grow spines if this is that huge of a deal. There is more than one cute girl who plays RPGs and is relatively sane and unattached. You do your best to catch someone's eye, it doesn't work out, well, that's a drag. You move on. These exclusionary rules where you can't make eyes at Cynthia because Gary has some kind of dibs on trying to date her are not going to do anything but create horrible drama.

 

[MrApothecary]

Careful, some of the guys in here might construe that as sexist.

Oh please, we aren't being that sensitive.

So, anyway, you intended for your original post to be controversial, and now you are suprised when we called you on it? Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

I think it's rather insulting assumption.

Either you haven't spent long enough in the real world, or I've spent too long out there. There are many men who would be flattered by such a comparison. I keep my distance from such people, but they're out there.

Anyways even polite, subtle, well-mannered flirting can quickly turn a night of fun and light gaming uncomfortable when there are multiple people involved. I don't want to end up flirting with the same girl my best friend is flirting with. There's nothing good that can come of that. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

As noted by others, this is only true if you're all emotionally immature and passive-aggressive about it. I mean, is this how you behave in other environments? If you both like the same girl, do you make a secret mental competition of it? That doesn't seem very mature to me.

The point is: you could simply choose not to do this. So could your friends. Saying you "couldn't resist" is a cop-out. It's exactly the same as saying "I don't have any control over my behaviour!", and it's on the road towards saying it's the girl's fault that you don't. You do have control. If you don't, then yeah, I don't think you should play with girls. I don't think them being married is going to help, because why would you magically be able to control yourselves there when you couldn't before? The wedding ring isn't a magic item you know. What if she was only in a relationship, not married?

Further, would you really do this session after session? Wouldn't you get over yourselves and remember why you were there? How badly, exactly, are you and your friends feelings going to be hurt when she decides she likes one of you or, more likely from the behaviour described, none of you? I mean again, it seems like you're suggesting immaturity and even maybe a bit of emo-type behaviour should be casually accepted and in no way fought against. I'm not sure that's righteous.

 

[andrina]

I guess the answer to my question is that having a girl at your table will give you a sense of superiority over gamers who don't. I think I'm going to go ahead and keep it an all guys thing. Thanks for the input everyone.

I am female, I play D&D, and I am excellent. I would only add to the awesomeness of your campaign by being involved in it.

If you now choose to not try inviting any female friends you punish only yourself and your group of friends.

Yes, it may be awkward and will most certainly feel at least a little different, having a new person (regardless of gender) in your game, but past two sessions if you all can't get over it specifically for the fact that they happen to be female then the maturity you espouse to have needs to be re-evaluated.

I'm not saying you're immature, I didn't take extreme offense at your original post. I'm now taking offense that because you got upset at how some people responded to your query your response will be "well, I'm not gonna invite any girls so I can spite those guys!"

I think this makes little sense. I'm pretty awesome and kind of a big deal and happen to be a girl, some other girls are like this and will totally add to your campaign, and some will annoy the heck out of you. We're just people, not a different species.

 

[Piratecat]

Well spoken.

 

[Rel]

I'm pretty awesome and kind of a big deal and happen to be a girl...

Cool! I'm awesome and kind of a big deal too. We should do lunch sometime!

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

We're just people, not a different species.

I always suspected this!

 

[Charwoman Gene]

"You've never heard of the New Hampshire Darkmagics? Well, we're kind of a big deal."

 

[Piratecat]

Cool! I'm awesome and kind of a big deal too. We should do lunch sometime!

It's true. He is. And so is his even-more-awesome wife.

I recommend to anyone taking Rel up on this offer that you make him pay. It keeps him humble.