Cleon
Legend
Yup, I'm happy declaring the mechanical section done. Assuming we don't find any Obvious Glaring Errars staring us in the face without getting noticed.
I'm inclined to keep the Description simple and to the point.
Fire archomental
Yup, I'm happy declaring the mechanical section done. Assuming we don't find any Obvious Glaring Errars staring us in the face without getting noticed.
I'm inclined to keep the Description simple and to the point.
Casimir Liber
Adventurer
"Archomentals are primordial elemental beings of great size and power. Some (such as the Elemental Princes of Evil) are named and worshipped, while others are nameless and unknown outside the elemental planes. Fire archomentals have been sought after and imprisoned by dwarvish nations as their heat is hot enough to fire an effective forge for working adamantine. Not surprisingly, they highly resent being bound up, and wreak catastrophic havoc if and when they are released.
A fire archomental resembles a gargantuan (50-foot-tall) humanoid or multi-limbed beast made of a mesmerizing blend of raging flames, billowing smoke, and swirling embers, constantly shifting and flickering with an otherworldly intensity. Its colour varies from deep orange-red with greyish smoke, and blazing yellow highlights to golden-yellow with searing yellow-white flames depending on its firepower. Wherever it moves, it sets its surroundings ablaze, turning the world to ash, smoke, and cinders. As the archomental’s Firepower increases, it visibly appears to produce more flames from its body, becoming a searing yellow to white-hot. Regardless of intensity, its eyes are smoldering black pits."
A fire archomental resembles a gargantuan (50-foot-tall) humanoid or multi-limbed beast made of a mesmerizing blend of raging flames, billowing smoke, and swirling embers, constantly shifting and flickering with an otherworldly intensity. Its colour varies from deep orange-red with greyish smoke, and blazing yellow highlights to golden-yellow with searing yellow-white flames depending on its firepower. Wherever it moves, it sets its surroundings ablaze, turning the world to ash, smoke, and cinders. As the archomental’s Firepower increases, it visibly appears to produce more flames from its body, becoming a searing yellow to white-hot. Regardless of intensity, its eyes are smoldering black pits."
Cleon
Legend
I think I'd rephrase the references to Firepower as that's mixing game mechanics into the fluff.
Some of the described flame colours are a little redundant.
The word "gargantuan" has a game mechanics meaning in 5E so I'd swap it for a similar adjective.
Would shift the bit about dwarves imprisoning them to a subsection and maybe make it a legend about a specific archomental.
Speaking of which, I don't care for the bit about generic archomentals being nameless. Would rather they have names but most are unknown outside the elemental planes.
Let's see…
Archomentals are primordial elemental beings of great size and power. Some, such as the Elemental Princes of Evil, are named and worshipped on the Prime Material, but the majority are unknown outside the elemental planes. A fire archomental typically resembles a titanic humanoid or multi-limbed beast composed of a mesmerizing blend of raging flames, billowing smoke, and swirling embers. Wherever it moves, it sets its surroundings ablaze, turning the world to ash, smoke, and cinders. The fire archomental can change the color and shape of its flaming form at will, constantly shifting and flickering with an otherworldly intensity. Typically orange-red with greyish smoke and blazing yellow highlights, should the archomental become excited or infuriated its flames wax and brighten, becoming searing golden-yellow then blindingly white as its firepower intensifies. Regardless of the fiery body's hue or intensity, its eyes are always smoldering black pits that resemble coals.
Legends of Incinerated Dwarven Delves?. ???.
Legends of Incinerated Dwarven Delves?. ???.
Casimir Liber
Adventurer
ok your para looks good (agree with rationale on names)...question is about second para (which fits in with my campaign and also (sort of) Gauntlgrym in FR (Maegera)....go for it if yer feeling creative!
Cleon
Legend
How's this:
The Furnace of Rage. There are ancient tales that a subterranean dwarven kingdom once trapped a fire archomental and built their capital atop its prison to harness its power and forge wonders. The archomental either lacks a name or the few dwarves who know it dare not risk invoking the primordial being's attention by uttering it. Modern dwarves are highly adverse to discussing the story. They obliquely refer to the creature as "The Incinerator" or Inferno.
Secondary sources have conflicting versions of what happened. Some account say the kingdom fell to outside forces when weakened by disaster or misrule: one record says a greedy king tapped too much of the archomental's power for the furnace city's adamantine forges and set the city ablaze. Most of these tales say the archomental still slumbers in its fiery pit beneath the capital, and when its weakening bonds finally collapse it will awaken and cause catastrophe.
Alternative accounts say the fire archomental escaped its prison and burned the dwarves' entire kingdom to ashes, even the stonework. A few tales say the freed archomental resented its captivity so fiercely that to this day it pursues a volcanic vendetta against anyone who summons and binds fire elementals. Not surprisingly, it particularly hates dwarves who build elemental-powered furnaces. There are rumors its vengeance is aided by a tiny sect of extremist druids who believe elemental binding is an abomination against nature.
Secondary sources have conflicting versions of what happened. Some account say the kingdom fell to outside forces when weakened by disaster or misrule: one record says a greedy king tapped too much of the archomental's power for the furnace city's adamantine forges and set the city ablaze. Most of these tales say the archomental still slumbers in its fiery pit beneath the capital, and when its weakening bonds finally collapse it will awaken and cause catastrophe.
Alternative accounts say the fire archomental escaped its prison and burned the dwarves' entire kingdom to ashes, even the stonework. A few tales say the freed archomental resented its captivity so fiercely that to this day it pursues a volcanic vendetta against anyone who summons and binds fire elementals. Not surprisingly, it particularly hates dwarves who build elemental-powered furnaces. There are rumors its vengeance is aided by a tiny sect of extremist druids who believe elemental binding is an abomination against nature.
It's a bit longer than I originally planned but I didn't want to just have a paragraph paraphrasing the Forgotten Realms history of Maegera the Fire Primordial.
Having a few conflicting stories opens a range of possibilities for adventures involving a fire archomental.
Casimir Liber
Adventurer
Sounds fun. Love it. Let's add it.
Cleon
Legend
Casimir Liber
Adventurer
Yeah. I will compare and publish
(update)
https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/2875011-fire-archomental
(update)
https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/2875011-fire-archomental
Last edited:
Cleon
Legend
Couple of minor problems.
Firstly, the Incandescent Bolt has different text to the Enworld version, with a non-standard range expression and a surplus "On any given round, each extra incandescent bolt after the first costs 1 firepower" after the "Hit: 27 (6d8) fire damage plus 27 (6d8) force damage."
If you're worried about making it clear that it costs 1 Firepower per bolt, it's simpler just putting that in the title, i.e.:
Incandescent Bolt (Costs 1 Firepower per Bolt). Ranged Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, range 100/400 ft., one target. Hit: 27 (6d8) fire damage plus 27 (6d8) force damage.
Secondly, the Purifying Pyre has a "([roll]8d10[/roll])" in its spiritual flames section that should just be "(8d10)" without the roll.
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