Forging Fury

[Kerrz]

OOC: I hate that we can't send Private Messages on this forum.

Ringmereth. Please, if you're going to be so expository with your thoughts, put them in an [sblock] tag. It really detracts from things and frankly perturbs me, because I want to respond to your thoughts, but can't, because you aren't speaking them aloud, nor are you physically showing that your character feels this way.

It's great that you're keeping a record of your thoughts as it helps build your character... but the rest of us aren't supposed to know them, and now we do. It's like if I had a villain walk up and explain his master plan in the first post. It would take away from the surprise of getting to know the character and their motives and plans.

Try harder to show your thoughts through action rather than through exposition.

"Show, don't tell" is one of the axioms of good writing.

I'm not saying you have to follow any of my suggestions by any means, but it's something you might want to keep in mind if you're looking to improve your writing style and the flow of the game.

Again, sorry for singling you out like that, you're far from the only person who writes with such exposition, but I thought perhaps I should say something earlier rather than later.

 

[Ringmereth]

OOC: I guess it's a bad habit I've picked up. On the other forums I participate in, it's common practice as a way to flesh out a character's motives, ideas, likes and dislikes, etc. You're right, though, that it alters everyone else's perceptions of the character. Sometimes I find that they're used well, especially when a character thinks about something in their past that wouldn't be approprate for the character to say aloud. If the thoughts are about other characters, though, I agree that they detract from the development of the character and can give too much away.

Anyway, I don't plan on just ending the thoughts, though I'll try to follow your advice of showing and not telling, because you're quite right. I will put them in spoiler text from now on, though. They're often more for my reference than everyone's reading, but if you want to use 'em, go ahead.

On a mostly related note, one problem with the Warforged is that their body language is limited. They don't have facial expressions. They don't blush, cry, raise eyebrows, or even smile. It's a bit limiting, and it feels weird to force them into body language they realistically would likely never pick up. Therefore, if your character doesn't state stuff aloud, then it's difficult to communicate it without using thoughts as I've done.

If anyone's got ideas on that, or anything else relating to in-character thoughts, my RPing, etc, feel free to comment. I'd like to think I'm well past the 'newb' stage of roleplaying, but my experince is really very limited in comparison to most of this forum. I'm open to advice.

One more thing: what would you advise regarding writing? I'm planning on having Agarndas write plenty about his experinces and ideas-do you think I should put them in spoilers as well, write them openly, or some of both?

 

[Kerrz]

OOC: Do you mean writing as in writing a journal entry for himself? If so, I would spoiler it up with an OOC note saying what it is, and which people he shows it to, or if he just keeps it private to himself. If he shows everyone, then it would be easiest to write it openly.

As for body language, you're right WF can't do alot of subtle things, but they would likely have picked up on the broad strokes and given them greater significance. For example, if you're talking to someone and they're embarrassed, they don't just blush, they shift their feet and seem uneasy, often fidgeting a bit as well. Also, a person doesn't need to speak in order to make noise. For example if you're angry, you might grunt expressively. If you're happy, you might give a pleased "mmm."

I'm sure this is the first time most of us have actually used Warforged this extensively, so the experience will be a learning one for everyone. Try to keep the Races of Eberron Psychology sections in mind, and remember that physical limitations only stop you from the subtle bits. Your characters have living souls and are going to have the same emotions as anyone else, it is up to you to determine how they choose to express them given their limitations.

I think we're going to see alot of fidgeting and hand waving from here on out.

 

[Bront]

OOC: That's what in theory should make Tenor a bit of an Oddball. He's actualy got a bit more of a non-warforged perspective on things due to his background, and is probably a bit more emotional, and used to playing on emotions more (I tried to show that in my speach I did earlier).

Generaly, with I have an internal dialog, I try to Quote and Italics it, so it's more noticable as something I'm saying inside, but I try to use it as more of things someone may read, like if he thinks he's unsure of this but says differently, it may show some how if someone can sense motive a bit. Or Tenor's thoughts on trying out new songs is just a snipit that the GM might be able to take the naritive with when he walks us to sharn.

If it bothers people I'll try to curtail it myself, I usually try to keep it to a quick sentance or two at most though.

 

[Kerrz]

OOC: Mostly I don't mind a few quick quips here and there and will probably use them myself at some point.

When there's more internal monologue than action and external dialogue combined though, that's a bit unnerving. I don't like getting that far into someone's thoughts. I don't even like reading novels that are that expository.

Anyway, it's a learning experience. Everything is. Carry on folks. I'll post in the morning with the next step, otherwise lets try to keep anymore OOC discussion to a minimum in this thread. If you guys want to continue the discussion, take it to the OOC thread.

 

[Kerrz]

Juarin waits patiently for any more questions, but sees that the Warforged are as easy to leave on this quest as he is. Rising from his seat he says, "Alright my friends, if that is all, then we had best be on about our way. It will be a long walk through the night to reach Sharn by morning. Gather what things you still need, but travel light. You will be coming home eventually. I have to prepare my package for you. I shall meet you outside in half an hour." Juarin leaves the room, crossing the building to his personal quarters.

After gathering their things and walking outside, the Warforged find themselves under a bright noon-time sun. Juarin exits the compound wearing dark blue robes and a wide floppy hat. He locks the door behind himself before turning back to Agarndas with a package. "You might find this handy. The one should help in your disguise, while the other contains the maps and instructions for your quest. Your spellbook should also remain safe inside. It's a bit of a treasure from my younger days, so please treat it well. I trust it is in good hands though," Juarin says as he hands over a deep red hooded robe and a smooth leather scrip marked with a Hammer and Anvil.

OOC: The robe is normal. The bag is a Type I Bag of Holding as per DMG p.248

Juarin gets a silly little grin on his face before he continues. "Anyway my friends. We'll have to get on the road. These bones aren't ready for this journey... but I fear they never will be. Part of this whole plan is to go buy a damned wagon so I don't have to worry about this anymore, but I'll torture myself just once, knowing that there are a group of fine halflings in Sharn ready to take care of me," he says as his feet start moving and the journey begins.

The day goes by quickly with Tenor practicing his music and Juarin humming along. As night begins to fall, the walking continues for several hours until the shining lights of Sharn are in sight. Juarin, however, calls a rest to the journey. His legs cannot continue moving unless they take a rest first. After four hours of resting, the group returns to the road and as the sun just starts to peek up on the horizon behind them they cross through Wroann's Gate of Sharn. Agarndas hides his Ghulra under his hood, and the rest of the group casually stroll into the city.

Wasting no time, Juarin leads the group towards the Lightning Rail station in Terminus and gathers the five Warforged around a table in the waiting area. After bolting off for a moment, he returns with a group of five tickets spread out on the table.

With a smile, he says, "My friends. Here is where we part ways. You must board the next rail car and head towards Wroat. Your journey will be long, but hopefully you will have no trouble keeping yourselves busy. Your rail car will head north to Hatheril and into Aundair, after which you will follow the rail North through Aundair and into the contested area around Thaliost. Be watchful in this area - Thrane took Thaliost from Aundair, and it is on the border of Karrnath as well. The region is rife with trouble, avoid it if at all possible."

"The instructions are all packed away in the scrip. Don't lose it, and have fun making up the extra bits on the way. Bring us back some new friends. I won't keep you any longer," he concludes.

Shaking the hands of each of the Warforged in turn, and patting them on the back as they head towards the rail car, Juarin says his farewells. The group see him last as a figure limping out of the station, making as much use of the walking-stick he found on the trip down as he can. He refused to limp while with the warforged, but on his own he seems to have slipped out of the act and can be seen struggling along.

The rail car begins moving on schedule and the adventure has begun. The Warforged are not alone in the car, and are accompanied by a human male covered in all manner of contraptions from wands to rings to other things. With the human are two warforged, one heavily armored and the other bare except for a belt of pouches thrown over a shoulder. For much of the trip, little can be said of any of them. The human often curls up in one of the bunks or sends off for food, however since he is sharing the car with seven warforged, no one else feels the need to partake of the beds or meals, rather busying themselves with conversation, song and the like.

As the Lightning Rail crosses over into Aundair, the human tenses up, fidgeting around a fair bit and snapping at his Warforged companions. He orders them around in a sharp tone and is altogether irritable.

Two days into the trip, while the human is sleeping, the two Warforged move across the car and join the five companions in conversation.

 

[ShaggySpellsword]

North turns to the two warforged sharing their car, glad that they decided to join in the conversation.

"Greetings my brethren. My name is North and these are my companions. I trust you and your human friend have had a pleasant journey so far?"

 

[Kerrz]

The armored 'forged grunts.

His bare companion, however, takes a more elaborate approach and actually speaks, "Yes yes... pleasant enough. Sometimes I miss the war -- all this quiet gets to me... All in all though I guess it's nice not having to worry about what's trying to kill you."

"How about you group? What brings you onto the rail all together?" he counters with.

 

[Ringmereth]

Agarndas looks up from his work, a sheet of parchment covered in tiny script, as well as a few sketches. Those of his companions (or at least those with sharp eyes) beside him see a record of the trinket-covered man's activities and some diagrams of his body and possessions crammed into every inch of space available, save a dozen empty lines' worth near the bottom. Capping a vial of black ink and stowing it and his pen away in Juarin's magical bag, the necromancer speaks. "We are travelling north into Thaliost," he tells the armorless Warforged in a neutral tone, deciding against telling them any more details for the time being.

[sblock]Perhaps these could be the first new recruits for the village, but their human companion is worrysome. He may believe they are property, or otherwise bonded into his service, and it would be unwise to make more foes than followers, especially foes of potential wealth and power, Agarndas speculates.[/sblock]

 

[Bront]

"This is the first time I've been on the 'rail. It's a unique experience. I'm working on a song about it, perhaps I can finish it before we reach our distination." Tenor responds from his bench. He is leaning back a bit with his lyre in his hand, strumming it experimentaly and writing things down in his notebook he has set beside him. "What business brings you to use the 'rail?" he asks the other warforged travelers.