Messageboard Golem
First Post
Humans call ogres, goblins, trolls, and their filthy lot the Green Races. In the outlands where these creatures dwell, fortunes can be made with steel and sorcery!
-
The VOIDRUNNER'S CODEX is coming! Explore new worlds, fight oppressive empires, fend off fearsome aliens, and wield deadly psionics with this comprehensive boxed set expansion for 5E and A5E!
Fortress of the Ogre Chieftain
- Thread starter Messageboard Golem
- Start date
Fortress of the Ogre Chieftain: 1. Ungodly Bad
I wish I could get my money back and sue for damages caused by the pain and suffering this product caused me. After reading this product I felt dirty and violated.
46 page...Please make it stop
$12.95...I could have bought 52 packs of gum.
I was first lured to this module and its sequel, Temple of the Troll God because of their first edition look that caused me to wax nostalgic about my first years playing D&D in '79. I picked up these modules ran home and read through Fortress of the Ogre Chieftain, and was indeed reminded of my first years playing D&D. Back when I was 8, adventures needed no plot, a room-to-room hack fest through the Monster Manual with flagrant trips to the DMG magic item list was great fun. Unfortunately for Fast Forward Games, I've out grown that. They haven't.
Just in case you didn't follow me.
This module blows!
Spoiler City
The background is that a bronze age human civilization built a fortress and on the day it opened Ogres burrowed in and killed everybody and now this Fortress is a big bad place, Why don't you check it out?! Perhaps you have come to recover the human's lost battle standards, or to loot for treasure, or to investigate a dragon hatchery, or to loot for treasure, or to fight undead, or to loot for treasure. It doesn't really matter, because if your DM is running this your character already has 18+ in every stat and is equipped with half of the magic items in the DMG and some you made up yourself.
There are 11 towers in this fortress all of which use the same 4-story map that looks like this:
100ft x 200ft rectangles
-------------------
I I
I I
I I
-------------------
Roof
-------------------
I I
I + I
I I
-------------------
Level 3
-------------------
I I
I + I
I I
-------------------
Level 2
---------------[]--
I I
I I
I I
-------------------
Level 1
Levels 1, 2 and 3 have stairs on the right side leading between the levels
Even when I was 8 I made better maps.
The text is set up with very little descriptive info and an encounter location text will commonly read The Ogre Chieftain and his 3 Warriors will attack. That's it. Who wrote this tripe? Oh, the Author's name is on the cover, so I won't repeat it here.
There are no flavor text boxes, sometimes flavor text is in italics. No highlighting of monsters, traps or treasure is done except to put magic items in italics, each encounter area, one after another is a continual rambling paragraph.
There are no CRs or ELs in the entire adventure.
This is an adventure for 4-6 3rd-5th level characters.
The encounters include:
15 Skeletal Ogres (no stats)
20 Skeletons
10 skeletal goblin shamans working on a glowing human skull. They attack if attacked and all die if the skull is destroyed. Why?... Because...um... Its cool...Heh...heh...
A rooftop magically covered in snow and ice, but wait there are boots here (for no reason) that render the wearer immune to the cold or slippery footing.
A room with 2 huge skeletal snakes followed by a room with 10 large skeletal rats followed by a room with 4 skeletal bears followed by a room with... (once again no stats for any of the creatures)
3 green dragon eggs, because dragons come here to lay their eggs
and 5 green dragon eggs, because dragons come here to lay their eggs
Then it seems the author got tired of his own work because of the 11 towers 6 are listed as empty, but given a random encounter table so that the DM can flush them out.
60 goblin skeletons
There is a central castle inhabited by a very old Jade ghost dragon guarding many dragon eggs because she can't lay her own eggs. You can fight her, talk to her, or avoid her, but in the flavor of this munchkin adventure she has lots of treasure.
But enough with the munchkin encounters, you say, you want to hear about the Monty Hall treasure.
For you efforts you can end up with millions of GP, but wait that's not all. There is also:
A wand of lightning bolts with 22 charges. Not bad...
Bronze Plate Mail +3
Gauntlets of Rust, Gauntlets of Ogre Power, Gloves of Storing, Amulet of +5 Armor, Warhammer +3, Warhammer +2, Stone of good Luck, Boots of Levitation, Boots of speed.
But Monty, what is behind curtain #2.
Well we have a Cloak of Arachnida, more potions of every sort than you can shake a stick at, scarab of protection, adamantine battleaxe, adamantine dagger, Sylvan Scimitar, large Mithral Shield,
What, you want what's behind door #3.
+1 leather armor, a skull cursed to whine when it is within 60 ft of a magic item, over a dozen dragon eggs of all colors, wand of knock, ring of evasion, sword +2, javelin +3, an holy symbol that causes any creature touching it to be healed and have any curses removed.
What, you want to take what is in the envelope... its... a...
a...Holy Avenger Longsword, but you'll have to fight 10 goblin shamans for it, but don't worry you get automatic surprise on them.
So,...
In closing, this product sucks so bad that I'm actually afraid to read the sequel, Temple of the Troll God.
Only morbid curiosity and the knowledge that my purchase of these products and my reviews may save others from wasting their hard earned money will drive me to crack the cover on any Fast Forward product in the future.
ASEO out
I wish I could get my money back and sue for damages caused by the pain and suffering this product caused me. After reading this product I felt dirty and violated.
46 page...Please make it stop
$12.95...I could have bought 52 packs of gum.
I was first lured to this module and its sequel, Temple of the Troll God because of their first edition look that caused me to wax nostalgic about my first years playing D&D in '79. I picked up these modules ran home and read through Fortress of the Ogre Chieftain, and was indeed reminded of my first years playing D&D. Back when I was 8, adventures needed no plot, a room-to-room hack fest through the Monster Manual with flagrant trips to the DMG magic item list was great fun. Unfortunately for Fast Forward Games, I've out grown that. They haven't.
Just in case you didn't follow me.
This module blows!
Spoiler City
The background is that a bronze age human civilization built a fortress and on the day it opened Ogres burrowed in and killed everybody and now this Fortress is a big bad place, Why don't you check it out?! Perhaps you have come to recover the human's lost battle standards, or to loot for treasure, or to investigate a dragon hatchery, or to loot for treasure, or to fight undead, or to loot for treasure. It doesn't really matter, because if your DM is running this your character already has 18+ in every stat and is equipped with half of the magic items in the DMG and some you made up yourself.
There are 11 towers in this fortress all of which use the same 4-story map that looks like this:
100ft x 200ft rectangles
-------------------
I I
I I
I I
-------------------
Roof
-------------------
I I
I + I
I I
-------------------
Level 3
-------------------
I I
I + I
I I
-------------------
Level 2
---------------[]--
I I
I I
I I
-------------------
Level 1
Levels 1, 2 and 3 have stairs on the right side leading between the levels
Even when I was 8 I made better maps.
The text is set up with very little descriptive info and an encounter location text will commonly read The Ogre Chieftain and his 3 Warriors will attack. That's it. Who wrote this tripe? Oh, the Author's name is on the cover, so I won't repeat it here.
There are no flavor text boxes, sometimes flavor text is in italics. No highlighting of monsters, traps or treasure is done except to put magic items in italics, each encounter area, one after another is a continual rambling paragraph.
There are no CRs or ELs in the entire adventure.
This is an adventure for 4-6 3rd-5th level characters.
The encounters include:
15 Skeletal Ogres (no stats)
20 Skeletons
10 skeletal goblin shamans working on a glowing human skull. They attack if attacked and all die if the skull is destroyed. Why?... Because...um... Its cool...Heh...heh...
A rooftop magically covered in snow and ice, but wait there are boots here (for no reason) that render the wearer immune to the cold or slippery footing.
A room with 2 huge skeletal snakes followed by a room with 10 large skeletal rats followed by a room with 4 skeletal bears followed by a room with... (once again no stats for any of the creatures)
3 green dragon eggs, because dragons come here to lay their eggs
and 5 green dragon eggs, because dragons come here to lay their eggs
Then it seems the author got tired of his own work because of the 11 towers 6 are listed as empty, but given a random encounter table so that the DM can flush them out.
60 goblin skeletons
There is a central castle inhabited by a very old Jade ghost dragon guarding many dragon eggs because she can't lay her own eggs. You can fight her, talk to her, or avoid her, but in the flavor of this munchkin adventure she has lots of treasure.
But enough with the munchkin encounters, you say, you want to hear about the Monty Hall treasure.
For you efforts you can end up with millions of GP, but wait that's not all. There is also:
A wand of lightning bolts with 22 charges. Not bad...
Bronze Plate Mail +3
Gauntlets of Rust, Gauntlets of Ogre Power, Gloves of Storing, Amulet of +5 Armor, Warhammer +3, Warhammer +2, Stone of good Luck, Boots of Levitation, Boots of speed.
But Monty, what is behind curtain #2.
Well we have a Cloak of Arachnida, more potions of every sort than you can shake a stick at, scarab of protection, adamantine battleaxe, adamantine dagger, Sylvan Scimitar, large Mithral Shield,
What, you want what's behind door #3.
+1 leather armor, a skull cursed to whine when it is within 60 ft of a magic item, over a dozen dragon eggs of all colors, wand of knock, ring of evasion, sword +2, javelin +3, an holy symbol that causes any creature touching it to be healed and have any curses removed.
What, you want to take what is in the envelope... its... a...
a...Holy Avenger Longsword, but you'll have to fight 10 goblin shamans for it, but don't worry you get automatic surprise on them.
So,...
In closing, this product sucks so bad that I'm actually afraid to read the sequel, Temple of the Troll God.
Only morbid curiosity and the knowledge that my purchase of these products and my reviews may save others from wasting their hard earned money will drive me to crack the cover on any Fast Forward product in the future.
ASEO out
JustaPlayer
First Post
This sounds like a reoccurring theme for Fast Forward. Whatever you do, don’t pick up Encyclopedia of Demons & Devils; it’s more than twice the waste of money. But even then, I almost gave this product a try for the same reasons.
(Psi)SeveredHead
Adventurer
Are all of the adventures written by the same author?
AESO - I heard a comedian say something similar, while trying to get people to quit smoking.
AESO - I heard a comedian say something similar, while trying to get people to quit smoking.
Slave Pits of the Goblin King is written by James Ward, the other two are by Tim Brown.
I'll gladly review the Slave Pits of the Goblin King if someone wants to send me a copy, but there is no way I'll ever spend money on another Fast Forward Games product.
If you actually do want to send me a copy to review let me know and I'll give you my address.
ASEO out
I'll gladly review the Slave Pits of the Goblin King if someone wants to send me a copy, but there is no way I'll ever spend money on another Fast Forward Games product.
If you actually do want to send me a copy to review let me know and I'll give you my address.
ASEO out
Similar Threads
