Particle_Man
Explorer
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Funny "victory" lines?
- Thread starter KrazyHades
- Start date
rgard
Adventurer
Kae'Yoss said:Well, they're your kids, their mother is your wife.... But it's good that your kids don't make a habit of rudely pointing out facts.
Yep, though my language is a bit cleaner than my wife's.
I'll introduce the kids to Mother ****er in 9 years. When the youngest is 18 and I start contemplating divorce!
Thanks,
Rich
rgard
Adventurer
While we're quoting Arnold movies:
From Predator...
Blain: Son of a b*tch is dug in like an Alabama tick.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poncho: Major, you'd better take a look at this.
Dutch: Did you find Hawkins?
Poncho: I... I can't tell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: Hey Billy, give me a way out of this hole. Aerial says we are cut off.
Billy: The only way outta here is that valley that leads to the east. But I wouldn't wish that on a broke-dick dog.
Dutch: Not much choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: Bunch of slack-jawed f*##*ts around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Dutch has nailed a guy to the wall with his knife]
Dutch: Stick around.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: [the Predator pulls off his mask] You're one... *ugly* motherf***er!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poncho: You're bleeding, man.
Blain: I ain't got time to bleed.
[Poncho shoots a bunch of grenades up to the top of the cliff]
Poncho: You got time to duck?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: If it bleeds, we can kill it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: Bleed, b*stard.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: You lose it here and you're in a world of hurt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after knocking a door down]
Dutch: Knock-knock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: [to Dillon] So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in a meatgrinder?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: This place makes Cambodia look like Kansas...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: Payback time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dillon: [after a trap seemingly fails to attract the predator] So, what are you gonna try next? Cheese?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Predator...
Blain: Son of a b*tch is dug in like an Alabama tick.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poncho: Major, you'd better take a look at this.
Dutch: Did you find Hawkins?
Poncho: I... I can't tell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: Hey Billy, give me a way out of this hole. Aerial says we are cut off.
Billy: The only way outta here is that valley that leads to the east. But I wouldn't wish that on a broke-dick dog.
Dutch: Not much choice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: Bunch of slack-jawed f*##*ts around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Dutch has nailed a guy to the wall with his knife]
Dutch: Stick around.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: [the Predator pulls off his mask] You're one... *ugly* motherf***er!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poncho: You're bleeding, man.
Blain: I ain't got time to bleed.
[Poncho shoots a bunch of grenades up to the top of the cliff]
Poncho: You got time to duck?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: If it bleeds, we can kill it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: Bleed, b*stard.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: You lose it here and you're in a world of hurt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after knocking a door down]
Dutch: Knock-knock.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dutch: [to Dillon] So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in a meatgrinder?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: This place makes Cambodia look like Kansas...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blain: Payback time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dillon: [after a trap seemingly fails to attract the predator] So, what are you gonna try next? Cheese?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thunderfoot
Hero
Wow, at least someone got that.Jeysie said:
(BTW I did) If I remember it was - "I am the lance that leeches your boil!" that did me in.
Raylis
First Post
d20 Modern game my Shadow Stalker had some good lines which led up to a nice one liner ending.
On a "raid" of a vampire's lair after killing off the Patriarch his 2nd (Veronica) points at me and says "Kill them, he's mine." We turn to face each other, my greatsword is drawn when my cell phone rings (the calvary) after hanging up I resume battle stance, "Sorry about that, now where were we? Oh yeah, I was about to kill you."
She escapes, and we encounter her later where a critial fumble sends my greatsword to her feet, which she nabs before teleporting away. One of the other PCs turns to me and says, "I know you hate her Joe; but swords are not for throwing."
Much later I pull up to another PCs house which was under attack. Walk through the front door and right next to it is Veronica, fleeing. Quick Draw the stake made especially for her (went as far as to engrave her name on it). Stabbed her right in the heart and said "Hi Veronica, miss me?"
On a "raid" of a vampire's lair after killing off the Patriarch his 2nd (Veronica) points at me and says "Kill them, he's mine." We turn to face each other, my greatsword is drawn when my cell phone rings (the calvary) after hanging up I resume battle stance, "Sorry about that, now where were we? Oh yeah, I was about to kill you."
She escapes, and we encounter her later where a critial fumble sends my greatsword to her feet, which she nabs before teleporting away. One of the other PCs turns to me and says, "I know you hate her Joe; but swords are not for throwing."
Much later I pull up to another PCs house which was under attack. Walk through the front door and right next to it is Veronica, fleeing. Quick Draw the stake made especially for her (went as far as to engrave her name on it). Stabbed her right in the heart and said "Hi Veronica, miss me?"
InVinoVeritas
Adventurer
"You think you own my a**? Well, let me tell you a little story about my a**. I put my a** on the line every day. Mooks like you always want a piece of my a**. And now, I've dragged my a** out here, met you losers who think you can kick my a**. My a** is worth its weight in gold. But since we've gotten this far, I'll cut you a deal. If you ask really nicely, I might just let you kiss it."
So we're in the deepest bowels of the ancient evil dungeon imprisoning the evil half of a god assassinated 700 years ago. The party is a Druid, Monk, Barbarian and Paladin. The BBEG is a high level wizard (9th level spells), who has just become possessed with the spirit of the evil god. He is also a vampire.
The Druid and the Paladin Die fairly early on due to a failed save against a pretty massive damage spell. The raging barbarian (me) makes the reflex save and is at less than 10 hp. When the BBEG is finally stabbed by the mcguffin, the battle is over, and I'm going to die when rage ends. I grab the Druid' s corpse, lift him up to eye level (I'm enlarged) and shake the crap out of the body yelling "WAKE UP AND HEAL ME!!!".
As for one liners, in another game we were questioning the victim of a crime after finding out his dead brother is an unlicensed half breed. Though the victim is full-blooded elf, his brother was half plant, and hid it from everyone.
After the autopsy, noticing the dead brother's plant lineage gave him healing properties:
Player one: Are there any branches of you family you've never met?
Player two: Can you recall your brother ever breaking a limb?
Player three: Are you aware of any rogue splinters from your clan?
The Druid and the Paladin Die fairly early on due to a failed save against a pretty massive damage spell. The raging barbarian (me) makes the reflex save and is at less than 10 hp. When the BBEG is finally stabbed by the mcguffin, the battle is over, and I'm going to die when rage ends. I grab the Druid' s corpse, lift him up to eye level (I'm enlarged) and shake the crap out of the body yelling "WAKE UP AND HEAL ME!!!".
As for one liners, in another game we were questioning the victim of a crime after finding out his dead brother is an unlicensed half breed. Though the victim is full-blooded elf, his brother was half plant, and hid it from everyone.
After the autopsy, noticing the dead brother's plant lineage gave him healing properties:
Player one: Are there any branches of you family you've never met?
Player two: Can you recall your brother ever breaking a limb?
Player three: Are you aware of any rogue splinters from your clan?
Wik
First Post
in our STAP game, it's been pointed out a couple dozen times that most of the Olman natives on the isle of dread are, well, useless. In a sort of "it's amazing there's any of htem here at all.... I mean, there's so many baddies on the island!".
Which has led to the Olman's preferred battle tactic: throwing spears and running away.
I've had a few Olman NPCs use quotes along those lines:
"yeah, we had to throw spears and run for HOURS before it finally got tired of chasing us and eating the stragglers. We won the battle, though. Either that, or it was full and wanted to sleep it off."
"You guys call that fighting? You didn't even throw a single spear, and not one of you ran."
"I am the greatest warrior in my hunting party, but that's because I was lucky. Most of the people in my hunting party had burnt their feet before we came across the demon. We could all throw our spears; only I could run. "
***
We have a Goliath in our group, who is an amazing damage-dealer, but that is easy to hit. We also have a cleric, who has a very high AC.
In one fight, against some large creatures with a bite attack, they seemed to flock to the cleric, letting the goliath move around and pick them off at his leisure. The Cleric was glad that they'd focused on her, even though it denied her spellcasting, because her high AC meant she was relatively safe. Still, after the fight, she couldn't help but wonder why they kept going after her.
"It's because they're terrified of me." the goliath bragged.
"Actually, I don't blame them. If I were them, I wouldn't want to eat something that looked like you, either."
And then, later, in a fight agaist a dinosaur with a swallow-whole ability, the goliath gets swallowed in the first round or two. The fight is an epic one, with the goliath only escaping six or seven rounds later (he had to improvise a weapon to escape). The dino puked out the Goliath before getting torn to pieces by the Paladin and Cleric.
The Goliath, standing in a puddle of puke, starts wiping himself off, a little stunned.
"See? I told you guys he tasted bad!" the cleric shouted.
Which has led to the Olman's preferred battle tactic: throwing spears and running away.
I've had a few Olman NPCs use quotes along those lines:
"yeah, we had to throw spears and run for HOURS before it finally got tired of chasing us and eating the stragglers. We won the battle, though. Either that, or it was full and wanted to sleep it off."
"You guys call that fighting? You didn't even throw a single spear, and not one of you ran."
"I am the greatest warrior in my hunting party, but that's because I was lucky. Most of the people in my hunting party had burnt their feet before we came across the demon. We could all throw our spears; only I could run. "
***
We have a Goliath in our group, who is an amazing damage-dealer, but that is easy to hit. We also have a cleric, who has a very high AC.
In one fight, against some large creatures with a bite attack, they seemed to flock to the cleric, letting the goliath move around and pick them off at his leisure. The Cleric was glad that they'd focused on her, even though it denied her spellcasting, because her high AC meant she was relatively safe. Still, after the fight, she couldn't help but wonder why they kept going after her.
"It's because they're terrified of me." the goliath bragged.
"Actually, I don't blame them. If I were them, I wouldn't want to eat something that looked like you, either."
And then, later, in a fight agaist a dinosaur with a swallow-whole ability, the goliath gets swallowed in the first round or two. The fight is an epic one, with the goliath only escaping six or seven rounds later (he had to improvise a weapon to escape). The dino puked out the Goliath before getting torn to pieces by the Paladin and Cleric.
The Goliath, standing in a puddle of puke, starts wiping himself off, a little stunned.
"See? I told you guys he tasted bad!" the cleric shouted.
TarionzCousin
Second Most Angelic Devil Ever
Name this movie:
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum!"
Hint: Rowdy Roddy Piper, a local Portland boy.
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum!"
Hint: Rowdy Roddy Piper, a local Portland boy.
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