1. I wish for $250,000,000.00 in $100.00 bills in my apartment
2. to be invisible to the IRS
3. Wisdom on the best way to invest it.
Granted! Granted! Aaaaaaaand aerodynamic underpants! (aka: granted)
You imagine all these wishes to have been granted, instantly materializing in an imaginary swirl of, ohh, let's say fire and dust.
First comes a shower of colorful Canadian money, a rainbow of scintillating colors reflecting off the chintsy plastic used by those handsome devils.
Next, a cadre of boring-looking men in identical suits shuffles into the room, looking for something. "Scott? Mr. DeWar? That's odd... Is he under the table? Nope, no..." They move around the room, looking everywhere but right at you. Soon, bored, they shuffle back out again.
Finally, once they've left, a golden glow surrounds your head. At first it is harmonious, peaceful, but soon enough it becomes an aura of sharp bolts of light. You clutch your head in your hands and fall to your knees, the golden glow shifting to a prismatic spectrum of blinking daggers. Your eyes widen in shock, horror, and finally manic laughter. A scream bursts from your lips, uncontrolled, unbridled cry, "Akiiiiirrraaaaaaaa!!!!"
Everyone (save myself, but for a ripple of my colorful coat) is flung away from you, as well as the game table, the hex mat and minis, and numerous oven-baked french fries.
Your body trembles as you get to your feet, a spark of madness in your eye... "Aerodynamic underpants", the words and then the image, seared into your every waking thought. It all makes sense now. If only the world knew the power, THE POWER!!!!!!
