Humor (sort of): Do you do these ILLEGAL things? An informal poll.

[Aberzanzorax]

Sorta Forked from a bunch of other threads (is pirating good apart from the bad) and (Why DON'T you pirate) to name a couple.

I'm not saying pirating is good, but I did want to shake up people's ideas of "it's wrong to do it BECAUSE it is illegal" (where it could be anything, not just pirating.)

Do you (did you):​

The Serious Ones (laws you probably were aware of):​

1. Speed?
2. Drink underage?
3. Smoke cigarettes underage?
4. Jaywalk?
5. Use a chemical (like a cleaner) in a manner not prescribed by use? (Including using at a higher dilution strength than recommended for its use)
6. Fail to mention every single last cent of income on your taxes?

The Fun Ones (dependent on where you live):​

Alabama:
Play Dominoes on Sunday.​

Arizona:
Tuscon: Wear pants (if female).
Globe: Play cards in the street with a Native American.
Glendale: Back up your car.
Nogales: Wear suspenders.​

Arkansas:
(If male) beat your wife more than once per month.
Little Rock: Flirt. (penalty 30 days in jail).​

California:
Drive wearing a housecoat (if female).
Long Beach: curse on a mini golf course.
Los Angeles: cry on the witness stand.​

Colorado:
Pueblo: allow a dandelion to grow.​

Connecticut:
Hartford: educate a dog.
Hartford: (male) kiss your wife on Sunday.
Dispose of used razor blades.​

Delaware:
Lewes: Wear pants that are "form fitting" at the waist.​

Florida:
Miami: a man may not wear any strapless gown
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed
Sarsota: sing in a bathing suit
Women falling asleep under a hair dryer
Skateboard without a license
Have sex in any position but the missionary position.​

Georgia:
Change the clothes on a storefront mannequin with the shades up.​

Hawaii:
Appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.​

Idaho:
Boxes of candy given as romantic gifts must weigh more than 50 lbs.​

Illinois:
Chicago: go out in public if you are an "unsightly or disgusting object"
That is, if you are disfigured, maimed, mutilated, etc.
Chicago: fish in one's pajamas
Speak "English". The only official language is "American."​

Indiana:
Gary: attend the theater within 4 hours of eating garlic​

Iowa:
Charging admission to any event to a one armed piano player.​

Kansas:
Restaurants may NOT sell cherry pie al a mode on Sundays.
Lang: ride a mule on Main St in August (unless it's has a straw hat on)​

Kentucky:
(Women) appear on a highway in a bathing suit by self unless she is
accompanied by police or weighs <90 lbs or >200 lbs.
Remarry the same man 4 times.​

Louisiana:
New Orleans: Fire trucks must stop at all red lights.
Gargle in public​

Maine:
Portland: (men) tickle a woman under the chin with a feather duster
Waterville: blow one's nose in public​

Maryland:
Baltimore: wash a dirty sink (no matter how dirty it gets)
Bowl: ($2 fine for each offense)
Halethorpe: kiss for more than 1 second
Mistreat oysters​

Massachusets:
Salem: married couples may not sleep in the nude in a rented room
Wear a goatee without a license
Boston: take a bath unless ordered by a physician to do so​

Michigan:
Detroit: "Ogle" a woman from a moving car
Swear in front of women or children
Commit adultery (it is a felony)​

Minnesota:
(Women only): impersonate Santa Claus (30 days in jail)​

Missouri:
Saco: (women) wear a hat that might frighten the timid
St. Louis: a firefighter may only rescue fully dressed women (NOT
a woman wearing a nightgown)​

Montana:
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
Show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.​

Nebraska:
Sell beer in a bar unless also brewing soup simultaneously.
A mother may not give her daughter a perm without a license
Waterloo: barbers may not eat onions from 7am to 7pm
Omaha: if a child burps in church his parents may be arrested​

Nevada:
Eureka: (men) if you have a mustache, you must not kiss a woman​

New Jersey:
Frown at a police officer
Slurp soup
Pass another vehicle without audibly letting them know you are passing
you must beep or shout.​

New York:
Flirting
Hang clothes on a clothesline without a license
Jump off a building (penalty is death)
NYC: (women) be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing"

North Carolina:
Ashville: sneeze while on the city streets
State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night
must be kept in a room with double beds, at least 2 ft apart.​

North Dakota:
Serve beer and pretzles at the same time.
Lie down or fall asleep with your shoes on.
Fargo: wear a hat while dancing.​

Ohio:
Cleveland: Women may not wear patent leather shoes
Columbus: sell cornflakes on Sunday
Oxford: Women may not disrobe in front of a man's picture
Youngstown: Run out of gas.​

Oaklahoma:
Make ugly faces at a dog.​

Oregon:
Bathe without wearing clothes that cover the body from neck to knee
Pennsylvania:
If horses are coming down the road, you must pull over, turn off your
car, and cover it with a blanket that blends into the countryside.
IF the horses are skittish, you must disassemble your car and hide
it under the bushes.​

Rhode Island:
Sell both toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same person on Sunday
Newport: smoke a pipe after sunset​

Texas:
Take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Milk another person's cow.
An anticrime law requires criminals to notify victims 24 hrs in advance.​

Vermont:
Deny the existence of God.
Whistle underwater.​

Washington:
Seattle: Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without a
pillow between them face an automatic 6 month jail term
Seattle: carry a concealed weapon longer than 6 feet.
Pretend that one's parents are rich.​

West Virginia:
Snooze on a train.​

Wisconsin:
Cut a woman's hair.
Kiss on a train.​

Wyoming:
Women may not stand within 5 feet of a bar while drinking.​

(The fun ones taken from these sites, as I am not a lawyer
Weird American Laws
Dumb Laws, Stupid Laws: We have weird laws, strange laws, and just plain crazy laws!
Lawguru.com - Weird Dumb Strange Humorous Funny Laws Part I​

There are more at the sites (if your state is missing, for example). I encourage you to check out silly laws and post which ones you have broken.​

 

[Aberzanzorax]

I plead guilty to :

#s 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 as well as:

Connecticut:
Hartford: educate a dog (I taught my dog tricks).
Hartford: (male) kiss your wife on Sunday (and why wouldn't I).
Dispose of used razor blades (um, what am I supposed to do with em)?

Massachusets:
Wear a goatee without a license (maybe this is where I should send the used razor blades)
Boston: take a bath unless ordered by a physician to do so (no wonder Boston smells like that).

New Jersey:
Frown at a police officer (wasn't really thrilled about that ticket)
Slurp soup (I lived there and made soup. It was hot. And tasty!)
Pass another vehicle without audibly letting them know you are passing
you must beep or shout. (I followed this law occasionally )

New York:
Flirting, quite likely with a woman on the street wearing "body hugging clothing" (does that make it more illegal?)

 

[El Mahdi]

I am (was) a speeding, underage drinking, serial jaywalker who also removes the "Do Not Remove" tags from my mattresses.

And I'm completely unrepentent.


There's just no hope for me.

 

[StreamOfTheSky]

1. I speed, but only because the highways up here have a ridiculously low 55 mph limit, and no way in hell should a nearly perfectly straight, peaceful road not in a school/similar zone have a speed limit of 25 mph. If I'm guilty, the people who regularly fly by me 10-30 mph faster must be SATAN!.
/rant

2. Had a small thumbnail sized cup of wine at my bar mitzvah (13). Tasted so awful, I spit it all back in the cup. Other than that, don't drink.

3. Anyone who's grown up with the information about the harmful effects of smoking either never did it (like me) or deserve a Darwin Award.

4. More like Z walking!

5. I don't know what the restrictions are to begin with. Or that there were any, for that matter....

6. I'm forgetful sometimes.

Working in a convenience store, I totaly broke the toothpaste & brush law a few times in RI.
Rhode Island:
Sell both toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same person on Sunday

 

[Bumbles]

who also removes the "Do Not Remove" tags from my mattresses.

That law does not apply to the consumer, but to the vendors and manufacturers. All of the mattress tags I have specifically note that, I don't recall that I've ever even seen one that was written without mentioning that, even before they changed the required wording. I never understood why people didn't read the whole tag myself.

And of course, those laws do have a purpose, regarding the public health.

As far as the others go, I try not to speed, I have neither drank alcohol nor smoked in my life, under or over age, I avoid crossing busy streets anywhere but intersections and I wait for the light where there is a crosswalk, I don't mix cleaners, never even thought of doing it, and I've never avoided reporting my income, but I must admit, I find those forms complicated enough that I can never be sure I didn't make a mistake.

 

[Brown Jenkin]

So the Brits don't feel left out:

Not carried out 2 hours of Longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.
Placed a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down.
Eaten a mince pie on Christmas Day.
Broken a boiled egg at the sharp end.
Been drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
Stood within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks.
Hung a bed out of a window.
Been a lady eating chocolates on a public conveyance.
Made out in public.

London:
Driven a cab without carrying a bale of hay and a sack of oats in the front.
Beat or shaken any carpet rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District.

Bristol:
Kicked a dog out of bed when making love. (For clarity that is kicked a dog out of bed who was watching as you made love to another human)

Edit: P.S. I admit to regularly breaking the law in Indiana by not stopping my car at each intersection, getting out and waving a lantern in the intersection. Even when there really are horses nearby which could be startled.

 

[El Mahdi]

That law does not apply to the consumer, but to the vendors and manufacturers. All of the mattress tags I have specifically note that, I don't recall that I've ever even seen one that was written without mentioning that, even before they changed the required wording. I never understood why people didn't read the whole tag myself.
...

Yes, I know this too. I'm pretty sure most people know this. It was just a joke (and a fairly old joke at that). Section of post removed by admin. Please see my PM. ~ PCat

Not carried out 2 hours of Longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. ...

How dare you not spend your requisite time down at the butts!

 

[Festivus]

1. Speed?
2. Drink underage?
3. Smoke cigarettes underage?
4. Jaywalk?
5. Use a chemical (like a cleaner) in a manner not prescribed by use? (Including using at a higher dilution strength than recommended for its use)
6. Fail to mention every single last cent of income on your taxes?

No to all of those, believe it or not. #1 on that list would be a big problem, as I would lose my ability to drive a vanpool if I get any more than 2 points on my record (I have zero currently).

It's a good thing I never played mini golf in Long Beach... I hate that game and swear all over the place while playing it. "Doh! Windmill. Doh! Windmill. Doh! Windmill."

 

[Bumbles]

Yes, I know this too. I'm pretty sure most people know this. It was just a joke (and a fairly old joke at that). So, "Lighten up Francis!"

Obviously you haven't met as many people as I have who are earnestly serious in believing it is against the law for them....and who often find themselves expressing how they are outraged over it.

It may work as a joke for you, but me, it kinda falls flat for that reason.

 

[nerfherder]

Just to add another dimension to your poll, #2 and #4 are not illegal here.