I am so angry

[Liminal Syzygy]

I think there are two steps going forward:

1) Find out if anyone besides yourself is unhappy with the ratio of gaming time to idle chat

If not, there isn't much you can do. If some other players are unhappy, then

2) Ask for suggestions on how to turn it down

Sometimes 1 or 2 players can create an atmosphere where idle chat eats up gaming time, and others even if they aren't 100% happy just go along to be non-confrontational.

 

[tonym]

Seems to me that one of the DM's responsibilities to the group is to keep the adventure moving along. If the DM feels that enough time has been spent talking about Buffy or whatever, the DM should probably consider getting things back on track.

My DM has several subtle (and not so subtle) ways that he accomplishes this...

He'll start reading boxed text from the module.

He won't laugh at a funny joke, which causes an awkward silence for a couple seconds, long enough for him to start DMing again.

He'll say something very interesting pertaining to the adventurers' situation.

He'll start DMing to one person, which usually makes everybody quickly wrap-up their conversations and get back into character.

He'll ask a question relating to all of our characters ("Where is everybody standing?").

He'll say something like, "Okay, back to the game..."


Tony M

 

[National Acrobat]

My group used to have meta and chatting problems. I implemented 2 rules about 3 years ago that have worked wonders, although to be fair, my players had no real problems adjusting.

1-If you feel that you may hear something that you cannot resist acting on, even if your character is unaware, you should leave the room. If you don't, and you act upon it, I dock 500xp. One person violated the rule within the first month, and the players jumped all over him, so it was enforced.

2-I encourage players who are not currently involved, or who may suffer from the xp docking, to leave the room to chat or take a smoke break in order that things go smoothly. My players seem to like this, because it keeps surprises in the game. Everything that occurs should be known by everyone.

It has been my experience that no matter how many times people try to avoid it, the meta experience pops up from time to time. I believe it is just subconscious for most.

 

[MarauderX]

A while ago I had two players in a group of 4 that would always be chattering about something, whether in game or out, and it started to get in the way of game time. I told them this, and the other two players agreed, but it was just their personalities that started to get rather talkitive, not just how they played.

I like to move the game along quickly so I asked everyone to pass notes instead of talking out loud to keep the flow going. It worked for about 3 sessions, then started to break down when they were confronted by a 'moral dilemma' (moral to them, I never thought they would have an issue to puzzle over).

Ever since then, if one of them would start to talk before descriptions of important details were done, I would let it go. They have left behind some valuable magic items and numerous other treasures simply because they would start doing things as soon as they could to get all the goods they could or move on. And I thought I liked to game fast, but it was just sorta ridiculous how little they cared about plot and character interaction - felt like I was DMing back in high school again, but we had all graduated from college.

All in all, I think it has to do with the player type and getting used to different settings. I like to challenge the players and have them talk about the events that took place and how they beat the BBEG, not how good their characters are. I stopped DMing that group and moved on since I felt like I didn't fit as a good DM; after all I wasn't having fun anymore.

But I never charged them anything for talking, and at most I think I would only take away XP, where it really hurts the character development. $ is $, and I work hard to earn every penny of it. No need to sap some away for petty reasons.

 

[Orryn Emrys]

I used to have similar problems with my group... mostly because a couple of the players I had were 'natural comedians', if you know what I mean. They're gone now... good for the game... sucks 'cause they're good friends. Nothing game related... they just moved away. Since then, the game has gotten a bit more serious.

There was no instant fix for OOC cracking up, however... and I'm not suggesting that all such banter is bad. It keeps the game light-hearted at times, though it's obviously best to keep the mood appropriate to the scenario.

In any case, these changes were largely the result of a very simple approach to gaming ettiquette... get the players on your side. Tough, I know... but it's best to start with one or two among their number... discuss your concerns... try to garner their sympathy. And make sure it's not at the game table! Not even on a game day... that just creates unnecessary tension.

You'll find that, if you can get one or two of the players thinking like you do, it might just snowball. My group just welcomed back a former player who was used to a faster-and-looser approach to gaming... it's been two sessions, and the players wasted no time putting on the pressure to take the game more seriously. It was even kinda subtle... designed so that he just doesn't seem to get as much out of the experience as everyone else if he doesn't approach it with the same degree of gravity.

Obviously, everyone is different... but generally a group of players really want the same thing... to have a good time, and to feel the intrinsic value in their chosen hobby. And frequently, a quality game session can become very addictive to even the most casual gamer.

 

[CTD]

DM's are in short order. Quality DM's are even more reclusive. Players are much more abundant. Which puts the power in the hands of the DM's.

DM a game that you like. The players will come around, and if they don't, you won't have wasted your time on a campaign that you hate (which ruins the campaign anyway).

 

[D'karr]

This really seems to be a case of different expectations.

I see it in my marriage all the time. I want something done X way, my wife wants it done Y way. I've found that compromise usually ends up getting things done Z way which is pretty close to what I wanted to begin with.

So compromise. After all it is not YOUR game. It is everyone's game. You must consider what the player's want in a game if you are going to have a successful campaign. If not you will end up just being frustrated and the player's will not enjoy themselves at all.

Evaluate why you DM. Is it because you like having fun with these people. It doesn't seem that way from your initial statement. If you don't DM to provide the group with a fun time, it is a pretty foregone conclusion that they probably are not having a fun time. So what then is the point in gaming with you?

Just a bit of perspective.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

When my players turn up to play, we play, not chat. Of course these are mostly players I advertised for and the reason they've made the effort to get there is to play a D&D game. If your group is basically friends who are there more to socialise than to play, you're out of luck - you need different players. But you can try to run a game the way you want. I'd suggest short sessions - 4 hours max - and tell them that no non-game related discussion is allowed at the table for that period. You can then run a 4-hour serious session and see if they like it. If not, too bad. If they like it, hopefuly they'll be willing to stick with it.

To view this campaign from a players point-of-view (and I am a player), we try our best to stick to gaming talk, but in a group of 7 (?) players that are presently wandering around doing some quite induvidual things at the moment, sometimes you get a time when your PC is not directly involved.

So we chat amongst ourselves, quietly and without disturbing everyone else. That's what I try and do, anyway. D&D comes first, but if the game isn't about your character and you're not talking loudly about out-of-game stuff, it doesn't seem to be a major problem.

 

[BlackMoria]

I had a group like this once. I found the following measures worked to keep them focused.

I informed the group that I am not fond of repeating myself, particularly if the group is chatting about matters not specific to the in-game situation in hand. So, if the group, due to table talk misses what I am saying, I tell them 'you snooze, you lose' and don't repeat it. This makes it so that when I am speaking, everyone else shuts up. In the beginning, the group missed so much and now they have learned that when I start speaking and imparting information, they had better listen.

If a player engages in idle table talk with others when I ask him what his action is - I rap on the table 5 times in one second intervals. If in that time, the player has not addressed me directly with what his character is doing, I tell him his character does nothing for that round due to indecision.

Joking with about what their character says or does is a real problem with this group. Case in point - upon meeting with the local baron, one of the players as a joke to get the others to laugh states "I punch the baron in the face". This usually get the group laughing and starting with the jokes and talking. I have a rule that when in an encounter or discourse with NPCs, if you don't place your index finger touching the bottom of your chin when speaking or stating the action, the character undertakes that action. In this case, the player didn't have his index finger to his chin. I told him to make his attack roll. The look around the table was priceless as the other players realized that ramifications. As a result, there is far less statements of stupid intent as it is very easy to forget to use the 'index finger to chin' and the players have paid for it.

This method worked for me but may not be everyone's cup of tea - I have a good relationship with my players so the success of the above methods depends on the DM - player relationship.

But it certainly kept that group focused and it took only a few rule breaches and the resultant penalties to cut the 'out of game' table talk back to an acceptable level

 

[Pbartender]

My group used to have a similar problem, though not quite to that extent.

We finally decided that whoever wanted to could show up half an hour or so early. Everybody relaxes and chats (about new books, minis, other games, movies, what happened last session) for an hour. After that, we're all caught up, and ready to play fairly seriously for the rest of the night. During the games, we only have occasional short interruptions for a shared joke or some such. We have a lot more fun, with a lot less frustration.