Balok the Strange
First Post
....to be more specific, I have finally founded a religion.
I have come to the realization that none of the current religious trends currently offered provide me with any sense of awe. I will explain, but if you are a religious individual who may take umbrage, please stop reading this now.
Now, to begin with, we'll start with the three Abrahamic faiths, those being, in order of founding, Judeism, Christianity, and Islam. Judeism has, over the past three millennia, become much more of a culture than a religion (although there is a growing movement to change that), and I can't get past those dietary restrictions (I really like bacon double cheesburgers, and trafe like that is really frowned upon). Christianity has a dizzying array of sects and denominations. I was raised as a Catholic, but got very tired of the calestenics involved in the services. Islam has a few interesting points to make, but I never found women's ankles to be that sexy, so the whole burkha thing has me turned off from that.
Eastern religions also come in a rainbow of flavors. From Japanese Shinto, Confusionism and Taoism (both from China), Bhudism and Hinduism (those are from India), Zoroastrianism (from ancient Persia), to belief in the Dreamtime (from Austrailian aborigenies), there are way too many to choose from.
African religions including the Orishas (which my significant other follows), as well as a few others are also a bit out of my realm of belief. Even the derivatives of African religious practices, those being voudoun and voo-doo (which are hidden in the trappings of Christianity, a hold over from the old slavery days), are not quite my cup of zombie juice.
So, I am left bereft of religion...unless I go back to some of the other ancient European religions or their more modern offshoots, those being the various divisions of Wicca (which, oddly enough, were recreated in the middle of the 20th century by one of the former followers of Aliester Crowley (I know I spelled it wrong) and member of the Order of the Golden Dawn. I've read The Illuminatus Trilogy, so I can clearly not choose the religion in front of them.
So, again, no religion. I have, however found my spiritual advisor:
George Carlin.
No, seriously! I mean it!
This would make me a Carlinite, and I hereby declare myself the Grand High Mucky-muck of Carlinists everywhere. The basic tenets of Carlinism are simple:
1: All humans are full of crap.
2:There is no religious manual, you just have to join the Bookclub.
3: There is no central meeting place and no holy ground, just a place for your stuff.
As this religion is just starting up, I need some help in collating the necessary religious doctrine. There is no apochryphal material, but all elements need to be tied directly to St. George the Curmudgeon.
Please help me create the Gospel According to George. The first book is the Book of BS. And it goes like this:
Please assemble the following letters in the proper order to reveal the path of a true Carlinists. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Hint: You may have to use some letters more than once.
I have come to the realization that none of the current religious trends currently offered provide me with any sense of awe. I will explain, but if you are a religious individual who may take umbrage, please stop reading this now.
Now, to begin with, we'll start with the three Abrahamic faiths, those being, in order of founding, Judeism, Christianity, and Islam. Judeism has, over the past three millennia, become much more of a culture than a religion (although there is a growing movement to change that), and I can't get past those dietary restrictions (I really like bacon double cheesburgers, and trafe like that is really frowned upon). Christianity has a dizzying array of sects and denominations. I was raised as a Catholic, but got very tired of the calestenics involved in the services. Islam has a few interesting points to make, but I never found women's ankles to be that sexy, so the whole burkha thing has me turned off from that.
Eastern religions also come in a rainbow of flavors. From Japanese Shinto, Confusionism and Taoism (both from China), Bhudism and Hinduism (those are from India), Zoroastrianism (from ancient Persia), to belief in the Dreamtime (from Austrailian aborigenies), there are way too many to choose from.
African religions including the Orishas (which my significant other follows), as well as a few others are also a bit out of my realm of belief. Even the derivatives of African religious practices, those being voudoun and voo-doo (which are hidden in the trappings of Christianity, a hold over from the old slavery days), are not quite my cup of zombie juice.
So, I am left bereft of religion...unless I go back to some of the other ancient European religions or their more modern offshoots, those being the various divisions of Wicca (which, oddly enough, were recreated in the middle of the 20th century by one of the former followers of Aliester Crowley (I know I spelled it wrong) and member of the Order of the Golden Dawn. I've read The Illuminatus Trilogy, so I can clearly not choose the religion in front of them.
So, again, no religion. I have, however found my spiritual advisor:
George Carlin.
No, seriously! I mean it!
This would make me a Carlinite, and I hereby declare myself the Grand High Mucky-muck of Carlinists everywhere. The basic tenets of Carlinism are simple:
1: All humans are full of crap.
2:There is no religious manual, you just have to join the Bookclub.
3: There is no central meeting place and no holy ground, just a place for your stuff.
As this religion is just starting up, I need some help in collating the necessary religious doctrine. There is no apochryphal material, but all elements need to be tied directly to St. George the Curmudgeon.
Please help me create the Gospel According to George. The first book is the Book of BS. And it goes like this:
Please assemble the following letters in the proper order to reveal the path of a true Carlinists. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Hint: You may have to use some letters more than once.
Last edited:
Religion and politics are a no-no, for the most part.
