I need your pizza delivery stories

[Ayrk]

I noticed that whenever pizza delivery folk get together and start swapping stories, they are always entertaining. I'm trying to collect as many stories as I can and I thought the folks at EnWorld could give me a hand. Visit my site at http://pizza.erikdewey.com and submit your favorite stories from when you delivered a pie.

Thanks.

 

[Inferno!]

Are you soliciting for Penthouse Forum?

 

[Ambrus]

What, we don't even get to read any of these supposedly entertaining stories?

 

[Nifft]

We ordered pizza delivery during one of our weekly games. The place was called Fat Sal's. We ordered a large pie with sausage, pepperoni and onions.

They showed up on time and the pizza was hot and delicious, with no traces of spam.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Inferno!]

We ordered pizza delivery during one of our weekly games. The place was called Fat Sal's. We ordered a large pie with sausage, pepperoni and onions.

They showed up on time and the pizza was hot and delicious, with no traces of spam.

Cheers, -- N

Giggidy...Giggidy



-ok I'm done

 

[megamania]

rural southern vermont.... no delivery of anything but lumber and oil.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

The only funny story I heard wasn't delivery, but take out, which I heard from a police officer I knew. The police reported to the scene of an accident late one night. The car had rolled over and was really badly mangled. Blood and something else seemed to be smeared on the inside of the windshield. The fire department used the jaws of life to pry open the car, and everybody was braced for a gruesome scene. Instead they found a really drunk guy laying down across the seat. When he sat up they asked him if he was OK, and he replied, "Yeah, but the spaghetti bucket is toast!"

 

[Lord Zardoz]

I have no stories of note, having never delivered pizza. But my younger brother did so for a while.

On one occasion when delivering pizza, he was about to make his last run for the night. One of his friends had been riding with him, partly for company, and partly as insurance against hostile / violent customers (in addition to being a hole, North Battleford Saskatchewan is a bit of a rough town). He told his friend to go to some party and he would meet him there later. My brother took the order, and drove it to the designated spot. The house was dark, and things seemed dodgy, but he walked up knocked, and was told to come in.

And things were indeed dodgy. On the other side of the door were two men wearing ski masks, and a 3rd was coming from outside the house to cut him off. My brother attempted to flee, and was then beaten about the head with weighted gloves, a hammer, and a fish bat.

Happily, other than a concussion and a re-broken nose, he was ok. The assailants were caught that night.

END COMMUNICATION

 

[Kahuna Burger]

My older brother, delivering for I believe Pizza Hut, witnessed a true life Halmark moment. He was walking up to the house in a single family sort of residential neighborhood when a little girl walked up to the porch at the same time. Little girl says "oh, I don't live here." He says "OK". He rings the doorbell with little girl still on the porch. Door is opened, and a second little girl burst past daddy squealing in joy to hug first little girl. Apparently first little girl was her best friend and had been scheduled to move to another town but there was a last minute change of plans.

Start with the house little girl moping and dad saying "why don't we order pizza" and let the first little girl borrow my bro's hat and hold the pizza when the door was opened and it would have been a Pizza Hut commercial right there on his route.

 

[Bront]

rural southern vermont.... no delivery of anything but lumber and oil.

That's got to make a nasty pizza.