I'm a little lost. Please help.

[Hjorimir]

It sounds like things are better. I've got a pretty strong personality and my characters do as well. This fact contributes to the fact that I usually end up as the group's leader (regardless of what class I'm playing). What I try to do (but I'm sure I fail as much as I succeed) is to delegate tasks as much as possible. I look at each other group member, consider our current obstacles/plans, and then delegate responsibilities to each. This really helps get even the quiet players involved.

 

[Jolly Giant]

I want to encourage them to "step up" and rise to the challenge

This could be the problem right here: You come to an established group as a new member and try to tell them how they should play the game. Or the other players could at least percieve it that way...