D&D 5E Income

[Fimbria]

You are completely nonproductive, always on the move, you have no goals beyond eating and talking, you take only what you can carry because you can't store anything for more than a day...

Are you a professional convention crawler?

 

[Mallus]

Who needs money?

Make sure your party includes a 13th level Bard and a 13th level Wizard. In the morning after a long rest, the wizard casts Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion. It costs him nothing to cast but it provides accommodation and food for the entire party for 24 hours. You can pass the time carousing if you like.

Later in the day, the bard also casts MMM with the entrance to the second one inside the first one. Everybody moves across when you've eaten the entire banquet in the first one.

Next morning, the wizard casts MMM with the entrance inside the bard's mansion.

Rinse and repeat.

That's fantastic! But I don't think I could resist the temptation if I were the DM to eventually menace the group with a bunch of Mind Flayer tax collectors from the Inter-dimensional Revenue Service.

Or maybe they'd be immigration agents. "Papers, please!"

Make that "Cerebellums, please!"

 

[empireofchaos]

That's fantastic! But I don't think I could resist the temptation if I were the DM to eventually menace the group with a bunch of Mind Flayer tax collectors from the Inter-dimensional Revenue Service.

Or maybe they'd be immigration agents. "Papers, please!"

Make that "Cerebellums, please!"

Precisely what I was thinking (well, not necessarily with Mind Flayers). Someone institutes a tax pegged to the value of the lodging or the food consumed. Or per spell level used to establish a temporary shelter on interdimensional property (that belongs to some god, or warlock patron, after all). Because why exactly do these adventurers feel like they can pop in, kill OUR monsters, and not contribute anything to the education of our people or the quality of our roads to the dungeon?

 

[77IM]

Dungeon insurance! You sell dungeon insurance to remote points-of-light villages. When monsters attack the village, you have to go and pay out. You do the actuarial math and set your premiums to EXACTLY cover your payouts, making zero profit. ...BUT each time you pay out, you've identified a region with a nearby dungeon that you can then raid for treasure and XP. It's a win-win!

 

[BoldItalic]

That's fantastic! But I don't think I could resist the temptation if I were the DM to eventually menace the group with a bunch of Mind Flayer tax collectors from the Inter-dimensional Revenue Service.

Or maybe they'd be immigration agents. "Papers, please!"

Make that "Cerebellums, please!"

Precisely what I was thinking (well, not necessarily with Mind Flayers). Someone institutes a tax pegged to the value of the lodging or the food consumed. Or per spell level used to establish a temporary shelter on interdimensional property (that belongs to some god, or warlock patron, after all). Because why exactly do these adventurers feel like they can pop in, kill OUR monsters, and not contribute anything to the education of our people or the quality of our roads to the dungeon?

I asked the party Rogue about this. After some Evasion, he said that since tax collectors can't get in through the portal, as long as we don't go out, they can't touch us.

However, the Wizard consulted his library and thought that the mind flayers' ability to plane shift might allow them to break in. But he wasn't sure if the extra^N-dimensional space we were in, constituted a plane as such that they could shift to, or if we were still technically in the prime material plane, just wrapped up inside a vibrating 11-dimensional brane the length of a plank.

That didn't help, because we hadn't a clue what he was talking about, so we got the party Cleric to try to Plane Shift himself out of the MMM and into the teleport circle in his home temple, reckoning if he could get out, they could get in. Unfortunately, he disappeared and never came back. We were a bit worried about him, actually. We tried a Sending but there was no answer.

So we asked the DM how much he wanted in taxes, and please could we have our Cleric back? He rolled some dice, gave an evil chuckle and said the taxes were paid for the time being but we'd have to pay the temple to do a Resurrection on the Cleric if we wanted him back, on account of him needing a new brain.

So now we needed a 1000gp diamond. The Barbarian solved this by picking the Halfling Rogue up by his heels and shaking him and guess what fell out?

We're good.

 

[Mallus]

A campaign based on epic-level tax evasion sounds surprisingly appealing. Another perk: it would give me an excuse to use the phrase "offshore reality".

 

[empireofchaos]

And it came to pass that kings began breaking up independent adventurers' encampments, and declaring all dungeons to be property of the crown. And if anyone poached the royal monsters without paying for the privilege, they would have the King's Rangers breathing down their neck. Of course, for a nominal fee, some dragons and beholders started tax-farming the dungeons...

 

[BoldItalic]

And it came to pass that kings began breaking up independent adventurers' encampments, and declaring all dungeons to be property of the crown. And if anyone poached the royal monsters without paying for the privilege, they would have the King's Rangers breathing down their neck. Of course, for a nominal fee, some dragons and beholders started tax-farming the dungeons...

And the kings in their wrath responded by creating the bane of the land: the Infernal Revenant Service.

Re-reading the description of the Revenant in the MM, it's a natural for a tax-collector

 

[Fimbria]

Magic Item: The One Thousand and Forty Scrolls of Ezz
Rarity: depressingly common
Upon discovering these scrolls, the party must cast the spell written on it on or before the eighteenth day of the fourth month of the year. Failure to do so will doom the party to endless harassment by devilish agents. Determining the material cost of this spell requires a DC 25 Arcana check, and it requires three hours for each attempt. The check may be performed by anyone, even someone outside the party and unaffected by the spell, although such people generally require a fee for their services.

Upon completing the required Arcana check, roll a d10 to determine the material component of this spell.

1: The party owes 50% of the total value of everything the party owns.
2: Gold cost of ten times of the total value of everything the party owns. Failure to pay the appointed agents on time will result in harsh reprisals.
3: The party owes 700 gold, plus the child of one party member (due by the end of the year).
4: The cost of this spell is 50 gold. However, the party made an error in casting this spell, and must now serve one month in prison.
5: The material component of this spell will be three aluminum buttons, a blessed statue of Gruumsh, one dozen fried eggs, and a matching pair of howler monkeys.
6: Material cost of 2000 gold. The party can reduce this cost to 200 gold if they can inherit at least ten square miles of property before the given date. They must inherit the land - no other form of acquisition is acceptable.
7: No cost. Good work!
8: The party is able to file their activities as religious, charitable, or scientific work. They are legally considered a tax-exempt non-profit organization. They must spend all of their money by the end of the year, but they are only allowed spend it on food, simple lodging, and charity.
9: The material component is actually negative. The party earns 150 gold by casting this spell. Agents of hell will occasionally show up to inspect the party's paperwork and possessions.
10: Somehow, after casting this spell, the king owes you so much in tax refunds that he must put up the kingdom as collateral. The party members are now the proud rulers of one nation.

 

[empireofchaos]

10: Somehow, after casting this spell, the king owes you so much in tax refunds that he must put up the kingdom as collateral. The party members are now the proud rulers of one nation.

The nation the party has inherited has a debt equal to 240% of its GDP, because of the former king's mismanagement. Within a week of taking power, the party is visited by agents of the Interdimensional Iron Bank, and presented with yet another scroll. Signing the scroll places the entire country under a Geas of structural adjustment. All temples, schools, poor houses, and charitable foundations must be closed, and all of their former employees must compete for jobs producing magic items for the interplanar market at the rate of 1 cp/day. Failure to find work will result in death and reanimation as a zombie (same work, but now at no pay).

If the conditions of the Geas are violated in any way, the nation is immediately sanctioned. 5d10 x 10000 gp magically vanish from the nation's vaults, the markets for the country's magic items disappear. Travel bans are imposed on any NPC who still hasn't called for resistance to your corrupt rule leading to regime change. If the situation is not rectified within one year, elves on dragons appear over your main cities, and start reading scrolls of Meteor Swarm...