Joy. It's the Buddy's Girlfriend.

[The Little Raven]

If you're worried about engaging her interest, I'd suggest that you help her with her character background, then implement aspects of it into the game so that she's always got a place in the spotlight and never feels like she's being ignored.

To get my friend's girlfriend playing, we started a campaign in which she was a noble's daughter (rogue) and the rest of the party were her retainers (fighter was her bodyguard, cleric was her spiritual adviser, the rogue was her spymaster, and the ranger was her lord of the hunt). At first, she was kinda quiet and hesitant, but once things always turned back to her (as the de facto leader), she really got into it. It kept her in the center of things, and now she plays regularly.

 

[Pale Jackal]

There's been some good advice in this thread, though my initial response was:

If she isn't interested in playing, maybe you should reconsider.

GIVE HER WHATEVER SHE THINKS IS COOL.

An excellent response.


Though you, the OP, mentioned you already approached her about what she wants to play... is she shy? Is she perhaps already familiar with D&D's conventions, since she's played before? The latter could be making her shy due to her ignorance of her options, or she could be aware of the options but can't think of anything she wants to play.

I suppose another thing to keep in mind is what type of game she enjoys, of course she (and yourself) may have no idea.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Sounds like giving her a choice of maybe three characters you make for her would be the best choice. Once she selects one, see if you can work with her to give her some ideas for a backstory. Let her lead as much as possible. Give a gentle nudge if she seems stuck, but if she is just silent, be patient - don't "rescue" her with your own ideas.

 

[Lacyon]

I suppose I should be optimistic that she's even slightly interested in giving things another shot, but when I approached her for character ideas, I got nothing from her. I tried approaching it from the "What are some of your favorate movie/book characters?" and got nothing, I tried approaching it from the "What do you like or not like about these archtypes?" and got a little feedback, but nothing major. In the end, I think she was overwhelmed by the unlimited options and she suggested that I make something for her. I ended things with suggesting that we could take it up later and maybe we can work it out with multiple choice.

What I'd like to do is provide her with a series of simple choices that will end up with a character that she feels she is responsible for even if they are rather weighted choices.

When presenting her with choices, it may be wise to emphasize the possibility of retraining. One thing that may be holding her back from making the choices herself is a worry that she'll make the "wrong" choice. If she knows that she won't be stuck with a choice she ends up not liking, she may be more willing to make them herself even though she doesn't know the system well.

 

[Pierson_Lowgal]

To disagree with KamikazeMidget, I'd definitely give her a ranger option, just tell her the character would play like Legolas from LotR. And if she hasn't seen the LotR movies, there's not a chance she's going to enjoy D&D.

 

[cr0m]

The boyfriend should be doing a lot of the heavy lifting. He knows her, he can talk to her. Maybe she's more willing to say what she wants to him. Get that dude to help you out, she's his friend.

 

[Wormwood]

If anyone says anything like "what? you're playing a clone of Wolverine??? lame..." take them into another room and punch them a few times, then get back to the game.

1000% agreement on this.

Fostering the right environment is everyone's job.

Remember, she's not just some random person sitting at your table. She's potentially the greatest roleplayer in the world. But she'll never get there unless she feels welcome.

 

[Surgoshan]

Executive Summary: She hasn't watched that many fantasy or action movies; she doesn't have preconceived notions about the roles she'd like to play. Lead her by the hand to build up a character.


It sounds like she's never really been into the fantasy/action genre so she doesn't really have any archetypes built up in her head to draw from. Most of us geeks would absolutely love to be able to play Drizzt (damn, I hate Salvatore for making him so popular that every 14 year old has to play him), Spiderman, Wolverine, Batman, Raistlin, etc. We've already seen those and we can make up our own variations or even come up with a somewhat new character. But if you don't have those then the options won't mean much to you.

You've already tried through the "what's your favorite character?" angle; try this one.

Don't bog her down with the terminology or definitions, just give her a short description of a few playstyles and move from there. That way she won't be overwhelmed with choices. 8 races? 8 classes? Two subtypes in each class? You have to choose a weapon/implement/pact/whathaveyou? Aaahh!

Start her out with the four archetypes: Defender, Striker, Controller, Leader. Not the names, the descriptions. Do you want to step to the front and force the enemies to focus on you? Do you want to move around the edges, striking down problem enemies? Do you want to use magic powers to damage enemies or reshape the battlefield itself? Do you want to hit the bad guys with one hand while healing and helping your allies with the other?

Once you know which playstyle she wants, which flavor of that she wants to go for. At each point, present her with just a few options and the process won't seem so overwhelming.

Also, if you actually manage to tailor it to her choices and build up a personality and character along with the numbers it'll giver her more of an investment in the character and a reason to be involved in gameplay.



Just basing things on stereotypes; she's a girl (you've noticed this) and therefore is less likely to want to get in and kick ass by herself. Girls tend to be more group oriented. A cleric and its role as a supporting class may be best for her strictly in terms of playstyle. The group will have to walk her through combat until she gets a feel for how the character can use her powers for the benefit of the group. It would also give her the option to do a little ass-kicking herself so she's not relegated totally to the role of REMF support and can be actively involved through the whole session.

 

[Corinth]

Anyone that doesn't want to be there to play the game shouldn't be there at all, no matter their relation to the rest of the group. There are better options for socializing with people that aren't interesting in TRPGs.

 

[Surgoshan]

Her interest might not stem from the best reason, but it's there. It doesn't matter that she's doing it solely because she wants to spend more time with her boyfriend and show an interest in a hobby that's important to him. The fact is that both he and she want her to be there and it's in everyone's interest to try and get her involved. Otherwise the boyfriend may, quite correctly, surmise that everyone wants his annoying girlfriend to **** off and be angry on her behalf.

Like many gamers' girlfriends, she'll quite likely end up still not being interested and eventually cash in her chips and take advantage of her boyfriend's hobby to have girls' nights out with her friends (yay dancing in a circle around your purses and shoes!).

On the other hand, she may discover a genuine love of roleplaying and its many, many related interests (fantasy books and movies, other kinds of tabletop RPGs, larping, nerds in general).

Either way, she'll just slow down a few sessions and trying to get her involved won't cost them a group member like actively snubbing her could.