Let's Write a Bad Module

[Samuel Leming]

I vote for a 3-D map, complete with glasses for the DM. Of course, the glasses don't work properly, making the map nearly illegible.

The map would be illegible even without the 3-D.

Sam

 

[Evilhalfling]

Ah, that's brilliant! I wonder how many encounters I can get people to stick the AXE OF MORGOSH in.

well I had a bed in a room on page 27. I could errata in the axe of MORGOSH under it. -
but that negates the last line and provides some interest in a terribly dull room. The description was from Dungeonland by e.G.G. Just outside the really pointless house are 3hd bees and ants. Then you get into the rocs and iron golems, I think he was going for a false sense of security.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

#37: The Double Doors

Before are a large set of double doors, cast of bronze and covered with scenes of evil and depravity. The doors glow purple and radiate a tangible evil. The doors have rings to pull them open and are warm to the touch.

These ordinary double doors lead to the room beyond.

#39: Trapped Pit
A 10x10 pit 30 feet down to spikes. 3d6 falling damage, 1d4 spikes for 1d6 each. A skeleton is at the bottom, clutching a rusty short sword in one hand, and a golden key with an egg inscribed on it in the other.






(#38 is marked on the map as a fairly large room with furniture and statues, but is not detailed inside. #39 is missing from the map, although several pits do appear on the map)

 

[Turanil]

Encounter #39 bis. The Wise Merchant

Read boxed text aloud:

You notice an old merchant with a white beard obviously waiting for customers. He rather looks like a wizard with his pointy hat, but his scale and assortment of various items designates him as a wise merchant.

The merchant greets you warmly: "Good day isn't it? Maybe you would be interested in some magic item of mine?"

With a Spot check at DC38, it obvious that only the +2 bill-guisarme is magical, while everything else is bathed in Nystul's Magical Aura. A Detect Magic spell doesn't reveal it though.

Price for each item is (1d8+4) X 250 gp. A successful Diplomacy check for haggling reduces the cost by 7.5% or 9.2% depending on the PC's gender. If cornered, the merchant is a 18th level polymorphed warlock (if you don't like warlocks, use the stats of a 16th level cleric). In any case, he doesn't want to bargain.

Behind the merchant you notice (DC Spot check 28) a corpse lying on the floor. If asked politely, the merchant will reveal this is the Dagger Thief (from a encounter #36) who was killed by a stirge. Anyone searching his cadaver will discover the Dagger of Grundhag. It is very important later in the adventure, nonetheless the merchant will offer two daggers +2 to get it then vanish without a warning using a Teleport Without Error spell. With a Sense Motive check at DC 3 though, the PCs should sense something is wrong and not give him the Dagger of Grundhag.

If the party doesn't lose at least 23% of its total cumulated hit-points, check twice for wandering monsters:
1-4: a half-celestial stirge of doom
5-8: two lepidopteres +1
7-11: three orcs wielding exact non-magical replicas of the Axe of Morghosh.

 

[Orius]

This is freakin' brilliant. You need to be careful, though - the module's only 32 pages long, and you're probably getting to the end.

So?

 

[Orius]

Ok, just to cleaer things up, what version of the game are stat blocks supposed to be in? I'm seeing mostly 3.5 blocks here in the first few encounters, so are we going with current standards? Or should we just present a horrid mis-mash of Basic, 1e, 2e, and 3.x e blocks all nilly-willy (which would probably work for this idea anyway).

 

[ssampier]

Room 45: Can I get wings with that?

Room 45: Buffalo Staircase

You climb a long spiral staircase set with stone. At the end of the staircase, you see a large stone door. The door is plain without any handle, ornamentation, or any obvious way to open the door. As you approach, a Buffalo head on the door. The lips begin to speak, "thginot nekcihc thginot nekcihc ekil leef I". The lips repeat the strange nonsensical phrase, " thginot nekcihc thginot nekcihc ekil leef I."

Any attempt to touch or otherwise damage the door results in 2d4 hit point damage. To successfully pass beyond the door, the players must one of two things: (1) Flap their arms like a chicken and say, "I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight", (2) Offer the Buffalo the magical item Incredible Hotsauce of Doom found in Room 42 a (not shown on map).

After uttering the last notes of the song or giving the magical item tribute, the doors automatically open leading to rooms 64.

(Room 41-44 are empty)

(errors are intentional)

 

[Sledge]

Yes

 

[Turanil]

Room 46: Maze of Sorrow

Read this aloud if your players let you do so:

You enter a maze. Once entered behind door vanishes.

Each 10x10 room roll 1d4 tunnels 3d4 feet long. Every third tunnel has a minotaur. After 7 rooms the PCs escape the Maze of Sorrow. Once exited behind door vanishes.

 

[Nomad4life]

Man, I want this module. Only if it has the artwork to fit, though.