Mat Smith's Writing is Unpleasant [RANT]

[Olive]

Well, I only hang out at the ELH and Psionics boards there. However, I do remember quite a few discussions on the general boards from people for whom its official or nothing -- even house rules are out. All I can tell you is that in more ways that one, I am not playing the same game these people do.

i couldn't agree more with the 'these people aren't playign the same game as me' comment...

but i think that was kinda what i was trying to say: that these columns are aimed at these people, for whom the wizards site is their news source and discussion point.

 

[barsoomcore]

You played with magic dust and pathetic mindless dragons?

Yeah. pretty much. And stupid magic items like "The Rod of Red Dragon Control" and faced off against Kings of Thieves who did things like make us run through his idiotic mazes so we could have his crystal or whatever and had beholders show up in completely ridiculous locales (for no reason whatsoever) -- and for us, a plot like "We have to get the Rod of Gold Dragon Control in order to summoun the Gold Dragons to fight against the evil wizard who's gotten the Rod of Red Dragon Control and is attacking the Queen with an army of red dragons and now I'm flying on my pet gold dragon (sweet!) and that red dragon you just hit falls and impales itself on a tower spike (cool!) and, um, the thief can backstab the bad guy, sure and some swordfights, natural 20, right on, and the bad guy fumbles so you know what? A gold dragon comes up and bites his head off. But before you can get a reward, um, there's this big flash and suddenly you're somewhere else! It's really exciting!" was actually pretty ambitious and sophisticated.

It all rings a lot of bells in my head, let me tell you.

Sorry, J.D. Does it help if I say I understand each and every objection to the movie -- the acting was spectacularly bad, like high school plays get better performances -- the story was insipid -- the effects, well I thought the effects did the job, actually. No worse than, say, The Scorpion King (yes, I liked the Scorpion King, too. A lot.) There are many, many reasons to dislike the D&D movie. I know. It's a laughable, pathetic thing in many ways. I like it for all those reasons. It charms me to bits.

They TRIED. They really, really tried. It doesn't feel like a soulless, commercial effort to cash in on gullible filmgoers. It doesn't have pointless T&A to bring in the adolescent market, it doesn't have some cheesy pop group of the moment doing a title song for no purpose other than to sell soundtracks, it's really just a DM making a movie about his little campaign. The guy's a DM, not a lawyer or an accountant or a sleazy producer out for a quick a buck. He's a DM. I bet he's a pretty good DM. And somehow he got the money and the rights and he went out and made his movie on his terms. So he's not a very good director or writer. Neither am I. So his ideas are derivative and amateurish. So are mine. At least he got up and went and did it.

I say, good for him. And I like watching his film because I get a sense of his personality in it. And I think I'd like him. And a sense of personality is pretty rare in today's cinema world -- especially in product-inspired cinema.

All I know is, I'll watch the D&D movie with much more enthusiasm and amusement than I can watch bombastic pablum like Gladiator, with its overproduced visuals, unconvincing effects, manipulative imagery and pretend pathos. Blah.

/rant

 

[blackshirt5]

I hang out on the message boards there sometimes, and although they have a few good tidbits(the Call of Cthulhu boards, the Monster Manual boards, and one or two classes(Jaerom Darkwind's Martial Artist sticks out in my mind)), I avoid most of it like the plague due to the nerf-herders who inhabit it(check out their Classes board to bear witness to why I call em nerf-herders).

Also, I'm pretty sure I could inspire aneurysms in some posters there with how I run my game(which includes 19 core classes and a spell called Level 9 Hadoken).

 

[Desdichado]

Sorry, J.D. Does it help if I say I understand each and every objection to the movie -- the acting was spectacularly bad, like high school plays get better performances -- the story was insipid -- the effects, well I thought the effects did the job, actually. No worse than, say, The Scorpion King (yes, I liked the Scorpion King, too. A lot.) There are many, many reasons to dislike the D&D movie. I know. It's a laughable, pathetic thing in many ways. I like it for all those reasons. It charms me to bits.

It does help. That I can understand and relate to. Athough it's still such a bad movie, that I have to wonder even while he's making it, that he didn't realise just how stupid... how Ed Wood-esque it was. I wonder how many actor's agents were fired for this movie.

They TRIED. They really, really tried. It doesn't feel like a soulless, commercial effort to cash in on gullible filmgoers. It doesn't have pointless T&A to bring in the adolescent market, it doesn't have some cheesy pop group of the moment doing a title song for no purpose other than to sell soundtracks, it's really just a DM making a movie about his little campaign. The guy's a DM, not a lawyer or an accountant or a sleazy producer out for a quick a buck. He's a DM. I bet he's a pretty good DM. And somehow he got the money and the rights and he went out and made his movie on his terms. So he's not a very good director or writer. Neither am I. So his ideas are derivative and amateurish. So are mine. At least he got up and went and did it.

I think a movie about how he made the movie would have been more interesting than the movie itself. Now that's a somewhat compelling story.

I say, good for him. And I like watching his film because I get a sense of his personality in it. And I think I'd like him. And a sense of personality is pretty rare in today's cinema world -- especially in product-inspired cinema.

No doubt, I think I like him too. He love of the game is undeniable. I guess it's harder for me to understand how liking his project comes from that, not that I need to understand.

All I know is, I'll watch the D&D movie with much more enthusiasm and amusement than I can watch bombastic pablum like Gladiator, with its overproduced visuals, unconvincing effects, manipulative imagery and pretend pathos. Blah.

At least Gladiator had a great soundtrack! Although, yeah, I find Gladiator to be one of the most over-rated movies of the last decade. Perhaps not as bad as Four Weddings and a Funeral, but close to it.

 

[Desdichado]

I avoid most of it like the plague due to the nerf-herders who inhabit it(check out their Classes board to bear witness to why I call em nerf-herders).

Yeah, but the real question is: are they scruffy looking?

 

[blackshirt5]

Yeah, but the real question is: are they scruffy looking?

No, in fact, quite a few of them seem to be hairless weasels. The nerf-herder comment is the fact that they ALL seem to want to "nerf" parts of the game. When did we, as a group(gamers), get to the point where we don't "cut" things, we don't "change" things, instead, we beat them with foam crotch bats until they submit to our will?

 

[barsoomcore]

When did we, as a group(gamers), get to the point where we don't "cut" things, we don't "change" things, instead, we beat them with foam crotch bats until they submit to our will?

Didn't you get the memo?

 

[ConcreteBuddha]

Didn't you get the memo?

I'll send you a copy of that memo...

 

[blackshirt5]

Didn't you get the memo?

Apparently not. However, I'm gonna go in there and assert the dominance of the CORE MAGIC RULES with my Foam Crotch Bazooka. It follows logic. Bazooka beats Bat.

 

[barsoomcore]

It follows logic. Bazooka beats Bat.

It's also alphabetical. Bazooka follows Bat. What's next? Foam Crotch Bazoptic Ray Guns?