Meepo's Story Hour [NEWS! 6-19-02]

[Samnell]

XI-Stupid. Just Stupid.

Wherein our hero is reassured he was right about humans all along.

Meepo was trying not to laugh. The whelp had just shown himself so monumentally stupid even the humans had to recognize it. They were humans, but there had to be some level beyond which even they would see stupidity, and this must be it. Not only had the mad child killed himself, which was always welcome, but he'd done it in one of the most amusing ways possible.

Meepo spent a silent moment in prayer, beseeching Kurtulmak to send rats to tear at the Jaryth's corpse and pluck out his juicy eyes. Eyes were the best part of humans, they tasted so much better than any part of a goblin. Meepo would miss eating Jaryth's, but he'd rather not risk catching whatever insanity had possessed the boy. Sun- loving human gods could hide their filth in anything. The thought of it sent shivers down Meepo's spine.

Then Burble took leave of his senses and went rushing down the rope into the ravine. With a sigh, Meepo followed. No good would come of this. "Well I see your powers did not work as you thought lad. Silly bugger. Hold still and I will get you up and able to move at least. Next time, just climb down you idjut," Burble lectured as he called on his god to mend Jaryth's wounds.

Meepo had no idea why Burble wanted to save the mad child, which only worried him more. Despite showing himself to be as bright as before, had Meepo's halfling friend been infected by Thurston's god after all. If he had, what about Meepo? There was a lot of blood in that room. It was everywhere. Meepo's stomach lurched as he remembered licking clean his spear.

"So you willing to heal the lad some more If needed or you still staying quiet? I am down to one heal now," Burble looked up into the light at the Worthless Dung Druid. "Come on, we do not have all day you know," he bid the others come down.

This was not good. Burble sounded almost eager to go back into the ravine and put his life at risk once more. That was the kind of stupidity Meepo usually associated with Jaryth, Rowland, Lorn, and the Worthless Druid.

Jaryth stood in the wake of Burble's healing and faced him with that wild, empty look in his eyes once more. Meepo began to consider climbing back up into the sun. Suicidal mad human whelps seemed more of a cause of worry for the moment than the infernal sun up above.

"Thank you Burble. Did offer to heal Thurston too, right before you gave him the killing blow? Or did you have your pet kobold do it while you busy knocking me out?" the whelp asked acidly. Meepo's hand darted to the hilt of his sword. Damn the humans, if the boy went mad now his shrieking could bring rats and worse down on innocent kobolds and halflings alike.

"Burble make nice Jaryth. Stupid boy jump off cliff make nice Burble. Burble make nice Meepo. Meepo make nice Burble. Burble make nice Jaryth. Jaryth make nice Burble." Meepo retorted, his anger overcoming his reason for a moment. He instantly regretted it. Reasoning with the whelp might just push him further out of his mind, or whatever it was humans kept in their brains… however little that might be.

"Did you make nice Thurston when you put a hole in his chest and forehead? Or, were you the one who slammed me on the head, so I wouldn't hear you?" Jaryth asked, hissing almost like a kobold might. That didn't bode well either. Had the whelp's fall knocked some sense into him?

Meepo's eyes flashed in the darkness as he replied, "Stupid Warrior not make nice Meepo. Meepo let live. Meepo make nicer than Stupid Warrior." That wasn't exactly a lie, Meepo and Burble had killed Thurston. It was a far quicker and more humane fate than the holy warrior clearly intended for them; sun-blinded god-kissers as empty- brained as humans.

"So. You didn't kill him. Then you must be the one who hit my head. That hurt. A lot." Meepo wondered how Jaryth expected it to feel, and regretted that Burble had hit the boy instead of him.

"Meepo not hit head. Meepo guard camp. Meepo bounder." Meepo borrowed the title of the guards of his clan. He might as well get some use out of them.

"Did Burble tell you to say that? You do know, don't you that we can't ever go back to that town. If we need supplies, we'll have to get them from the kobolds or the goblins, or do without. No more healing. No more comfy beds. Nothing. We step in the town, and they'll kill us, all of us. Them. You. Me. Burble. All of us." That was a sacrifice Meepo was willing to accept. Thurston's death was well worth it.

"Thanks my friend and just ignore his bleating tongue. From now on he is a brat kid who cannot seem to show thanks for a friend who was watching out for him. Let him carry on all he wants. He just will not get no more healing. He can accuse, rant, and carry on like an idiot, and attract all the rats. Maybe he will learn that some would have tried to aid him, but he does not appreciate that. Just stay away from him, as I doubt we can trust him now that he thinks we are an enemy." Burble said consolingly.

To Jaryth Burble shook his head. "I said before, if you want go have something out, we should have handled it above. Now we have rats and other crap around. You going to rant here, or will you at least hold off till we can get to a safe spot? If you hate me for what happened to Thurston, your sadly mistaken, but I guess you will never see it that way. Seek your friends elsewhere, but for now, I suggest you keep your yap shut unless you want the rats chewing on your carcass like Syl's." Meepo had no idea who Syl was, but she sounded like a good enough example for Jaryth to follow. Human whelps needed more rat-eaten role-models to guide them to their deaths. The world would be a better place if they had them.

"You don't feel any remorse do you? I suppose you'll kill me next, and blame it on the rats. Because I don't like you or your god." Meepo had to admit Jaryth had a good idea there.

"You destroyed the only thing i cared about, Burble. I hope you're happy. You killed my only friend. Enjoy your fascist kobold dictator, Burble. You two are perfect for each other. He wants to kill his brethren for power, you want to kill anyone who stands in your way." Madness was sharpening Jaryth's perceptions. Meepo would have to do something about that.

"And it is you, then, Burble, who killed my friend. You said it was a favor that he was dead. To who? Obviously, not to me, I liked him. I wouldn't want him dead. Did you get mad because he said your goddess was a lie-spreading evil blight to the world?" Jaryth shrugged.

"Isn't she? She's the goddess of deceit and thieves, Burble. She's not really for truth, justice, and the Oeridian way, y'know. She's more for greed, chaos, and lies." More stupid human god nonsense.

Kurtulmak, Meepo do anything. Just send rats to eat whelp's eyes? Meepo make nice…

"So you want to take that tone? You want to blame me and Meepo for this? Well so be it then kid. From now on you can get all your healing for Embrill. I will not take your insults when I have tried to aid you in the ways that I can. Meepo is a friend and no pet you idiot. Piss off for all I care then." Burble said indignantly. Meepo hoped that was a sign he was still free of Jaryth's sickness. The halfling readied his bow.

"It's the truth. I came in and told you what happened and asked who did it. YOU grabbed your dagger and stepped away from me. Why?" Jaryth looked intently at Burble.

"Did you think that I thought you were guilty? Did you think that I had found you out? I KNEW you did it, I just needed proof. That was it. You grabbed your dagger. YOU were going to attack me, to protect your secret. No one else did. Everyone else said how they had been helped by Thurston or how they were here all night long. You behaved in a threatening manner." Jaryth was rambling, but his rambling was far too accurate for Meepo's taste. He definitely needed to do something about this.

"You have no remorse. Why didn't you wait? At least until I was out of sight? I wouldn't have had to wake up to that. If you had any kindness in you, any soft spot for me, you would've granted me that one mercy. But you didn't you killed him and then took everything that was on him. You bastard.”

“We can't even go back to that town now. They'll kill us, as soon as they see who we are, they'll kill us. We have to go to the kobolds now for our supplies, unless you wanna traipse around the countryside for another damned town." Jaryth was beginning to ramble now. That might undercut his credibility with the others if they heard. Meepo could see ways to exploit that.

Burble had had enough. "I would ask you to show me a little respect. My GOD is a man kid, and as for being a liar all depends on how you see it. A thief, well he IS called the Laughing Rogue. Truth? That is very suggestive. Justice? Ain't no such thing kiddo, just what you can make for yourself in the world. The Oeridian Way? Kid, look at me? Do I look human? And not every one is of your race. Olidammara looks out for his worshippers and we pay him back with smiles and worship. If you do not want a god, so be it. That is your choice, but I suggest you not fault me for mine. It was through my god you got healed. You want to spite him, well you go right ahead, but you will get no healing or aid from me." Meepo could question Olidammara's judgement in healing Jaryth, but at least he hadn't driven Burble mad.

“You liked Thurston? Well your loss, but I will tell you straight, I ain't sorry he got offed and he is a headache I am glad to be rid of. You want to seek more like him, then take the horse and ride for the Pale. There you can have an entire country just like his sanctimonious ass.You wont get it from me. I have been truthful from the start how I felt about him and if you want to hold that against me, your loss indeed."

"Meepo say truth. Burble say truth. Jaryth not believe. Meepo and Burble make nice Jaryth. Jaryth not believe. Meepo even want share goblin with Jaryth. Jaryth not believe." Meepo shook his head and pretended he had no idea what was wrong with Jaryth. He needed to build credibility with the other humans who could surely hear this from up above.

"Why can't you admit it? You f***ing killed him and you can't admit!" Jaryth began to climb back up the ravine, using the handholds near the rope.

"I hope you enjoy the kobolds, Burble. As for your god: It is your loss. You placate a being who cares NOTHING for you. The gods are simply parasites, they feed off your worship, and give you nothing in return."

Jaryth continued climbing. "Forget it, this is pointless, you don't care about me, I don't care about you. You don't care about anything but yourself. You keep your friends because they please you. Not because you ant to help them, but because they are your servants, or they make you happy. Embrill's right, you should just leave. No one likes you anyways." Of course the whelp neglected to mention that Meepo liked Burble. The boy really should show more appreciation. Meepo and Burble saved him from life with Thurston.

"Olidammara make nice Jaryth. Jaryth not make nice him." Meepo observed, once more feigning sorrow for those above. This would be a perfect opportunity to exploit human stupidity and gain sympathy amongst the anti- Burbleites.

"You can think what you like Jaryth. I refuse to get in with it with you here. You want to accuse me above, then do so, But right now we got rats about and I suggest you hold on top your hatred or ill will till later, unless you want to fight it out with them damned rodents. As for the dagger, hey, your the one that came riding in hell bent in anger and accused ME of killing Thurston, so what was I supposed to do, just stand there when you might try to kill me. Sorry to disappoint you lad, but that is life and you best watch out for yourself first and foremost. If I wanted to attack you, trust me, you would be dead already." Burble said defiantly, though he carefully pitched his voice so it wouldn't carry too far and alert any rats about.

"I didn't accuse you, Burble. You put that there yourself. You and your guilty conscience." Meepo had no idea what Jaryth's final word meant. Humans had too many stupid words that didn't make any sense.

"Jaryth lie. Meepo liked Jaryth. Meepo made nice Jaryth. Meepo not make nice Jaryth now. Jaryth not make nice Burble. Meepo not make nice Jaryth. Meepo not make nice until Jaryth make nice Burble." Meepo said angrily. "Burble make nice and make nice more Jaryth and Jaryth not believe Burble. Jaryth stupid." Meepo firmly stated his position. There, let the humans align themselves around that.

"Meepo, do you EVER think for yourself? Or do you let Burble do it all for you?" Jaryth yelled from the wall. He was doing a lot of talking and not much climbing.

"I take no chances when I can help it Jaryth and you have been ranting at me for a lot here. I aided you and you spat on me for it, so I cannot trust you, now can I? You got your powers of your mind, and I have no inclination what you may be capable at. Plus you might try to get others to join you. I know Embrill would jump at a chance to kill me, so sorry, I will watch myself all I can, thanks all the same." That was good. Burble reminded the others of Jaryth's abilities.

"I have said what I will. I leave you now to your hatred. Talk to me later when you have something calmer to say, and best, away from the rats." Burble dismissed Jaryth. He motioned for Meepo to join him by the stairs leading down into the ravine.

"YOU can't trust ME?!" Jaryth laughed incredulously as he climbed higher up the cliffside. "You're the psychotic, and you can't trust me?! That's rich! It's so funny! It is to laugh! Har har!"

Rowland called down quietly, "Um guys... you do remember the rats, don't you?" It must be the Dragonblood. Only that could explain Rowland's occasional attacks of thought.

"Meepo watch." Meepo only needed look for a moment into the darkness. "Meepo see rats! Rats coming up stairs! Rats come from next landing!"

It was typical. Kurtulmak still hated Meepo. The whelp he wanted the rats to eat was halfway up the wall and Meepo was still down below with Burble.

Rats rushed up the broken stairway from the darkness. They burst into the reach of Burble's torch moments after Meepo's warning. Up above, Bryant spotted the closest Rat to Burble and Meepo, just up on the last flight of stairs and sends an arrow after it. The rat took the shaft in the back but kept coming, trailing blood. At least one of the humans had done something useful.

Another rat rushed up past the last, thick tail dragging on the floor as it scampered up and lunged at Burble over the side of the stairway. The rat's diseased jaws clenched shut on Burble's calf and tore out a great chunk of flesh as the rat's weight pulled it free. Burble screamed in agony as his calf muscles were torn in half. Blood showered the landing and stairs. Meepo cried out "Burble!" as he tore at the hilt of his sword.

Burble fell back next to Meepo and felled a rat, but another came rushing up in front of Burble and menaced him even as his wounded leg makes it painful to even think of moving back further. Streaks of light and crossbow bolts rained down from above. Meepo hoped none of the humans were stupid enough to hit him or Burble.

A rat came rushing forward, neatly scurrying around Meepo and getting behind him before the kobold could react. Meepo screamed out curses at his predicament.

Jaryth climbed back down and drew his dagger as Embrill reached the bottom of the rope. The worthless druid was fast…Meepo hoped he was rushing to his death. Then, it happened. Meepo heard a screaming above and looked up and back just in time to see Lorn's huge, armor clad form slip from the rope and fall through the air. The fallen paladin cried out as he fell.

Crying out in shock and terror, Lorn fell into the ravine. His desperate attempts to catch the rope or the handholds in the wall were doomed to failure. With a clanging crash Lorn landed hard on the Worthless Druid, driving both to the ground hard. Embrill hit hard enough that his head rebounded with a crack. Embrill vomited blood in Lorn's face and teeth clattered against the fallen fallen paladin's breastplate. Lorn's knee was buried deep in Embrill's back.

Meepo couldn't help himself, as he drew out his sword he was swept up in gales of yapping laughter. One stupid human had just killed another with his stupidity at rushing down the rope like a madman. Kurtulmak liked Meepo after all.

 

[Samnell]

XII-A leavetaking

Wherein one of Meepo's wildest dreams comes true.

Sal climbed carefully down the rope behind Meepo, clearly wary of Lorn's example. Meepo fought to keep from completely losing himself to yapping kobold laughter as the huge rats boiled up around him. He was on the front lines, the last place he could possibly want to be.

The humans were supposed to be up here, dying like the fools they were. No self-respecting kobold would stand and fight against an oncoming foe. It was dishonorable to eschew such proven tactics as striking from behind, or while one's foe is sleeping or voiding his bowels. What had some over Meepo?

Bryant followed Sal down, and Meepo hoped soon he could scurry back and strike from behind a shield of moving metal and flesh. Great kobold swordsman he may be, but he still preferred his crossbow. Killing things from afar, where they couldn't reach him in return, appealed to him on a deep and spiritual level. Kurtulmak taught that fools who stood and begged death with blades deserved to die. If only he were more strict about that, there'd be a lot fewer humans in the world.

Meepo took a hasty step back as Bryant came into the fray, letting the human expose himself to more of the rats. Humans were good for that sort of thing. They certainly had a lot of practice. Meepo decided that being a two- legged rat delicacy was a skill he would somehow manage without. The kobold still had a rat behind himself and wished for two heads so he could watch those in front of him and the vermin at his back. Burble tried and failed to skewer it with a dagger. Meepo felt one of those stupid warm rushes of idiocy that he'd picked up from the humans and was perversely happy that Burble was there.

But Kurtulmak still smiled on Meepo. Despite Burble's having missed killing it, the rat behind Meepo tore into neither kobold nor halfling with its filthy teeth. Instead it ripped into Lorn's throat. The foolish human warrior was still laying atop Embrill. Meepo knew he must have been a good kobold to earn such luck. His greatest enemy and the stupidest of the humans could die laying atop one another. Lorn's blood spilled on Embrill's already bloody body and Meepo turned to the rats in front of him. His back was secure under Burble's and Kurtulmak's protection.

Meepo couldn't help himself, though. Seeing his enemy dying was too much. He kept stealing glances and thus saw Lorn scrambling to bind Embrill's worst wounds. As he did so, he turned his head wrong and his throat wound ripped fully open. Blood flowed freely and Meepo smiled to himself. He hoped the Worthless Druid drowned on Lorn's blood.

Battle raged on and Meepo finally dragged himself fully back to the battle in front of him after seeing Burble waste his god's power on Lorn. It must be a divine command. Meepo knew Burble served a human god, and human gods loved the stupid. None fit that description better than fallen paladins who fell off ropes and crushed their companions.

Meepo turned away from his rear at the wrong time, though, Stinging daggers of unspeakable pain tore into his tail at its very base. He nearly fainted as agony washed over him and made his knees weak. Maybe Kurtulmak didn't really like him that much after all. Lorn's and Embrill's luck of late could just be the Great Kobold's way of showing how little he liked those two instead of how much he liked Meepo.

Happily, moments later Sal ended Meepo's battle on two fronts by cleaving the rat to his back cleanly in two. Burly dwarves had their uses; especially when they were using the sword Meepo and Burble stole from Thurston.

In a few more moments the battle was over. With all the big, dumb humans good at killing things devoting their full attention to the rats, instead of innocent kobolds for once, only one rat escaped into the darkness below. Burble quickly used some of his god's power to heal Meepo's torn tail. Try as he might, Meepo couldn't help but like the warm, soothing feeling of the human god magic flowing through him.

Burble, of course, was quick to take charge. Meepo'd chosen wisely in attaching himself to the group's leader. "Ok boys and Girl, lets get the Hell out of here. The rats will be back and I want to get out of this hell Hole. Go get some rest, heal up, and then look for another entrance. This one is just too dangerous, and not worth it. Especially when you got a kid screaming all the time."

"Meepo, you did great. Thanks for holding them off like that. You were a true warrior and a good friend.”

"So, what to do about Embrill folks?” Meepo thought they should kill him there and then, but humans never listened to him.

Sauntering up to Embrill, who was still bleeding into the dirt, Meepo took what chance he had to say a few things he'd had on his mind. "Worthless Druid not not make nice Meepo now. Worthless Druid mate with stupid wolf like Meepo say. Meepo say leave Worthless Druid for rats."

Jaryth, of course, wanted to share his insanity again. He smiled at Burble, "Well, I dunno, maybe we should try to heal him? He is, after all, one of our companions. I dunno, it could just be me, but what the hell, I'm sentimental that way."

So maybe this time it was mundane human stupidity instead of raving madness. Meepo knew better than to hope the lucidity would last.

Jaryth turned to everyone else. "I'm sorry. I lost my head, and you all suffered for it. I shouldn't have yelled at Burble at this precise moment. I should have saved it for some place less fraught with danger. I apologize, deeply. I'll understand if you want me to leave, being such a burden to you all as I am..."

YES! LEAVE NOW! Meepo wanted to scream. Go, feed yourself to the rats. Better yet, fall on Worthless Druid. Jaryth hung his head low, awaiting judgement.

"If we stop to rest every time one of us is scratched, then those noble children will die of old age by the time we rescue them." Lorn said testily. Falling on a druid hadn't knocked any sense into him. Maybe if it happened a few more times… But Meepo could only dream of seeing Lorn crush Embrill again.

"We're not going to be getting the award. The townsfolk think we killed Thurston. They'll skin us alive the instant we step foot in there." Jaryth sighed.

"Yeah maybe, but we got too many wounded and I am out of spells just about. If you can get your healing back Lorn, please do so or if you got some better idea of what to do. Me, I bet ya the kiddies are dead and we get the reward with the rings even if they are dead, so I am going to watch out for myself and the wounded, You want to go after them now, go for it. Me, I am going to get the hell out of here." Burble countered.

Jaryth decided to bother Meepo some more as the kobold weighed the benefits and costs of cleansing the Embrill's wounds with certain of his bodily fluids.

"You shouldn't touch him. If you do, he might wake up and turn you into a goblin. Druids can do that y'know. Same as with wizards and sorcerers."

"Meepo like goblin. Goblin make nice Meepo's stomach." Meepo smiled viciously at Jaryth.

Rhea had some thoughts for Meepo too. "You disgust me." Meepo wondered if she had read his intentions. He chose prudence all the same. Best not to upset the humans too much. The kobold wasn't clear on whether Rhea intended to include Burble in her pronouncement or not. She was looking about midway between the two.

"Yeah, so we love you to. Remember, it was Embrill who first spat at and scorned my offers and he made it clear he did not want a single thing from me. He was the one that was a standoffish lout and insulted me at every turn. Meepo saved my butt, did Embrill even try to heal me when I was dying and in a coma? Hells no. That was all Lorn and for that I am beholden to him. So I says, what goes around comes around."

“Now I ain't no innocent, but at least I was honest. Was he? We can try to lift him out and I will climb next to him. Go slow, careful and we might get him out, I have one last healing that can maybe save him, but I want to save that just in case he starts to slip. That good enough for ya Rhea, or you going to pine for the druid and mope?" Meepo appreciated that Burble was standing up against the humans. It reassured him that his friend hadn't lost his mind.

"Listen here, shorty,” Rhea shot back. “The only thing I've seen in this misbegotten adventure is you flapping your mouth and springing traps at every turn. Half these battles
would've never even happened if you hadn't used your as-yet-to-be-proven skills as a theif to get us through here safely. That druid not only saved my life, but others here as well... He's healed us and kept rats at bay... And not to mention my keeping those rats at bay while small-and-less here stuffed back in your cold, black innards. I hope your kobold buddy makes a warm bed-partner, because with your mouth, it's probably all you could get. I've had it to the gills with this nonsense. If no one'll do anything... Then to the hells with all of you. I'll do it myself."

Lorn suddenly recalled that Embrill had been hurt. "Burble, heal him," the falling warrior ordered. "It is my fault he was hurt. I would gladly heal himself if I still had the blessing of Heironeous. If you do this, I will consider myself in your debt."

Debt. That could be valuable. But it was Lorn's debt. Would the human be bright enough to honor it when called upon? He was certainly too slow to think to twist the wording of his obligations or find other ways to elude them, but the wit to honor them? Meepo thought not. This was Lorn, after all.

"Lorn, I owe ya, and I do not naysay that, but you know how much you're asking? I got one minor healing left till tomorrow. I also have my own wounds and Meepo's. I wasted one healing on Jaryth and look what that brought about. We need to rest, I do not deny that, but is Embrill really that much to you? He has held himself above us all and called me scum. What has he done to deserve to get any extra help from me?" Burble asked reluctantly.

"Way to be the better person, Burble. When I was in the guild, anyone talking like that ended up on the wrong side of the Nyr Dyv. We're companions whether we like it or not. We're involved in something greater than a dead paladin, or our own meager pride, or even some noble's kids. We here to do something good. Even if we don't realize that. And, if we can't even be amiable towards each other, how do we expect to see through to the end of this?"

Jaryth sighed and looked at the group. His eyes lingered for a time on Burble's. "I say let's bury the dagger. We've had our falling outs, let's be done with them. What do you all say? Can we be comrades and move on with our lives and adventures? Or, are we going to stand here have it out, all of us, until He Who Sleeps comes for us all?"

Burble sighed. "Ok Kid. I don't like the druid and I think you did enough as well to have this all happen, but I want to continue to work with Sal and I know he has a more open heart then I might. I will do what you ask and if it works, then we can get out of here and rest. Just remember, if he starts to throw insults or pisses me off, all bets are off and he can go eat dung and be rat food."

“I agree the druid is worthless, but we may have to help him to keep the others about. Not sure, just not sure." Burble tried to reassure Meepo, but he wasn't especially convincing. Why was it that the humans and their stupidity had to be so damned insistent?

Jaryth wandered over to Lorn now. "Lorn, it wasn't your fault. It was mine. Or maybe Burble's. Hell, blame one of the nature gods for making the damned rats. Or, maybe, whoever it was who invented gravitiy." Jaryth looked intently into Lorn's eyes. "But it wasn't your fault. Alright?"

Of course it was Lorn's fault! Stupid insane human whelps… He climbed down the rope too fast and fell like a stone. How could it possibly not be his fault?

Finally, Burble worked his healing prayer on Embrill. Meepo resigned himself to yet more days lusting after the sight of Embrill's corpse at his feet and knowing it was never to be so.

"Ok Embrill, stop faking it. You're alive through every fault of your own. Heal yourself the rest of the way so we can get the hells out of here." Burble nudged Embrill with his foot on completing his spell.

Embrill's eyes flutted and he spasmed, choking on a throatfull of his own blood. Meepo rather liked that sound. He spit it up with a violent coughing fit, staining his chin and throat more with the sticky red mess. His eyes moved quickly over the group, taking stock of his surroundings. Meepo tried to look menacing.

The Worthless Druid drew himself up and near to the rock wall of the ravine. He wiped the blood from his mouth and slung it in the dirt as he called out, "RIKI!" A whimpering sound comes from above as his wolf lover looked down over the edge of the ravine.

Embrill looked up at him for a moment before looking about the ledge amongst the rat bodies. "Where are my things? Who took them?" He spotted Rhea gathering some of his things that had flown about when Lorn hit him.

He staggered her way with a groan that Meepo savored. "I'm fine now. I can carry my own things.” Embrill took them back from Rhea and began to climb the rope without another word.

Could it be? Was he actually leaving of his own free will? This was almost as good as seeing him dead!

“So that is what I get for being nice eh? Well that fricken druid can eat crap then. Blast his worthless hide. So Rhea,, you happy now? You Jaryth? Was it really worth it to keep him alive when he acts like such an ass? Gods." Burble was unsurprisingly less than ecstatic to see his healing go entirely to waste, and Meepo didn't blame him. He was too happy to see the druid leaving to worry too long about specifics, though.

"Come on Meepo, let's go find a good place to camp. These ungrateful louts have pissed me off. Sal, you coming? You want to stay off with me and Meepo, or are you heading to work with the bastrich Embrill?" Taking charge again. Burble was their leader with Embrill gone. He wasn't even challenged. It was all very cunningly done. Maybe Burble had kobold blood.

"Burble make nice you.” Meepo called up at Embrill, trying not to raise his voice too high. "Burble wasted magic." Then he offered his advice in campsites, away from the human's burning sun up above. "Meepo think camp inside. Find room with door. More rats come if stay too long here."

Burble nodded. "You're right buddy I should have left him and said the hells with him. You're also right that we should move on and work on our missions and goals. I got some
thoughts with what to say with Yusdrayl, so maybe that is something to do tomorrow after we rest. We can hole up in that empty room across the way where we found that barrel. Sal, you willing to stick it out down here? I have no desire to be anywhere around that scum up above and for all I know, he has deserted us like he did when we all met back in the inn. Me, I am with Meepo here and I say lets head out. We killed or drove off a good number of the rats and so should be able to make good time."

Meepo had no idea what Burble was referring to about the inn, but it was about Embrill. Meepo basked in the glow of the realization that Embrill really was gone. The druid had already reached the top of the rope and vanished out of sight. He felt more confident, relaxed, and overall happy than he had since Calcryx had been taken. Meepo almost felt his old self again. Plans of revenge on his clan flowed smoothly through his mind. His chief obstacle gone, things were so much easier.

Jaryth and Burble were sniping at each other about honor amongst thieves or something, but Meepo couldn't care less. Nothing could shatter his contentment now. He had reached a higher level of joy, unlike anything he had experienced in so very long that even Lorn's, Rowland's, and Jaryth's stupidity together couldn't shake him out of it. Embrill was off in his woods with his wolf mate and all was well in the world.

The group cooperated after some arguing and inane mumblings from Rowland. A quick trip up the rope was made to fetch the supplies left on Burble's mule and then it was back into the cool darkness away from the burning sun. Embrill was gone. The sun was off his scales…things just couldn't get much better for Meepo.

The group settled in for a day or two in a large room just outside kobold territory. Meepo knew of it, but had never entered it before. It was empty save for some dust and a few small piles of stones. The door was tightly secured and the night passed quietly. In the morning healing was used and most of the group was reasonably ready to move on.

First, though, they decided they wanted to have Sal and his huge muscles examine an iron keg they'd been unable to open before. It was just across the hallway. Meepo knew no good would come of it. It was a human idea, after all. But of course, they wouldn't listen to reason. Apparently they thought there must be some kind of treasure or something inside the keg.

So across the hallway they went, Sal in the lead. Burble opened a door carved with fish and in he and Lorn filed to give this iron keg a closer look. Meepo paid close attention and made sure he knew the best way to run. He'd never heard of the door with fish on it being opened, though Yusdrayl had tried for a good while. Even Calcryx hadn't been able to break it down.

Sal stood squarely in front of the keg and the party readied themselves for anything. Meepo just knew that he'd pay for this. The humans wanted to see what was in the keg too badly. That couldn't possibly be good. With one heave, the dwarf yanked the stopper out.

Water geysered out of the keg in a sudden rush, forming into the shape of a bizarre fish-man, covered with scales and staring at the group through huge, bulbous black eyes no taller than Meepo. It took only a moment for the fish-man to open its huge mouth and draw in a great, watery breath of air as it raises spiny, webbed claws.

Meepo got ready to die. He'd never heard of fish-things like this. Human stupidity was going to kill him after all. Suddenly, all the joy he'd known when Embrill left seemed very far away.

With this strange, menacing fish-thing that had burst out of the keg and brandished claws at the group, Sal tried to talk to it.

"Nobody attack until it does." He warned off the group. Yes, that was an excellent plan. Let's everyone wait until it kills us before we attack it. Sal spoke directly to the fish thing, "We mean you no harm. We were hoping that this barrel held a cure for a sickened friend. If you do choose to attack we are all ready for your attack and prepared to defend ourselves."

 

[Samnell]

Meepo's Story Hour, Book II: More Stupid Human Tricks

That last was the end of the old thread. This begins the newer.

XIII-The Competition.
Wherein our hero discovers more of human values.

Talk to the monster. Meepo couldn't believe it. Talk to the monster. It wasn't even a human idea. The dwarf thought it up. Talk to the monster… and entertain it with your pithy wit while it eats us alive. It would be unconscionable to allow a monster to be bored while eating you. It went against the human way.

Even in at this moment, when his life was certainly about to end, Meepo recognized that he had codified a new article of human behavior. In reverence to their gods, who loved the stupid, they must choose the stupidest manner possible in which to die. Now the drive to throw themselves back into the jaws of rats, goblins, and worse in this ravine made much more sense to Meepo.

Meepo worried about that. Did his growing understanding mean he had become infected with human foolishness? At least with strange water creatures leaping out of great iron kegs there wasn't that great of a chance that he'd know before he died. Kurtulmak has a strange sense of humor.

"Damn it Sal. Now is not the time to talk. ATTACK this **** and then worry later. It's about to breath on you, you dimwit. PULL the swords and attack." Burble yelled as he began a prayer to his god. If the disease that was human thought had spread, it still hadn't infected Meepo's halfling friend.

Lorn, of course, could be counted on to be the most virulently stupid of all humans. "What manner of creature are you? And be thee friend of foe?" Meepo vaguely resented that Lorn's fall hadn't killed Embrill outright, even if the Worthless Dung Druid was still gone. He also wondered how menacing fish-things made of water brandishing claws could be considered friends.

Rhea slid quietly past Meepo and to the side. The kobold glanced at her for a moment. She seemed to be edging back towards the ravine and out of the fish-thing's field of view. Meepo took a small step in the same direction, but then his burning red eyes fell once more on Burble, fully engrossed in his invocation of the Laughing Rogue.

Meepo's foot stopped in mid-stride and he felt sick inside. His guts sunk towards his tail. He couldn't just leave Burble here. The humans and dwarf were nothing to him…but Burble had defended him against Embrill and killed Thurston with him. Meepo looked again towards the ravine, but forced himself to turn away. Burble was his friend. He'd never had one of those before and decided he wasn't ready to give it up yet.

The humans all waited, so Meepo readied his crossbow and waited as well. He was positive this would be the end of him, but he wasn't forsaking Burble. A ghostly spider melted into being around Jaryth and carried him up along a wall to the ceiling of the corridor the better part of the humans and Meepo stood in. He hung upside down and looked into the room where Lorn and Sal faced off against the fish-thing. No rope or hook held the boy, only the legs of his spectral spider.

The fish-thing stood motionless for a second. The air hung heavy with tension as Burble continued his prayer. Then, the fish-thing vomited up a great gout of searing water that burned everything it touched. Screams went up as its watery vomit seared at kobold and human flesh alike. Jaryth was struck full in the face and his mouth and nose filled with the burning waters. The mad whelp coughed a single time and his spider shivered as his body fell limp. Jaryth hung by his hands and feet from the ceiling, his head dangling lifelessly downward and his eyes open and unfocused as blood drooled steadily out of his mouth and trickled from his nostrils.

Meepo himself was unharmed, as was Burble, but the dwarf and Lorn took the worst of the blast. Bryant too was wounded. Rhea took a single look at Jaryth's newly-made corpse hanging from the ceiling and ran for her life out into the ravine. Meepo took a sudden step after her before remembering Burble again and stopping himself.

Despite the screams and carnage, Meepo got off a shot. He and Bryant both missed the fish-thing, hitting the ceiling with arrow and bolt alike. Burble finally spoke the last of his prayer aloud; "I call on my God, the True, Gambler and Laugher at our fates. To my foe I say, miss and be hurt, for you are truly accursed."

The creature hesitated a moment as a wave of unseen force struck it to its core. Not a scale slid out of place, but it was somehow lessened all the same. Rowland hurled one of his magical bolts, which struck the fish-thing and sent ripples across its scales as though it were a stone hitting a pond.

Sal and Lorn struck together at the fish-thing, but found its scales even harder than Meepo's. Their strikes accomplished nothing. Sal howled out his outrage, "You scaly monster from hell, how dare you! I offered you a freedom and peace and you attack my friends and me with your vile breath! For that you will taste steel, I only hope as you feel it going through you, you remember that you chose your demise. May your god show you pity, for my swords will show you none!” At least he figured out now that this thing wasn't friendly.

The fish-thing turned to Rowland and impaled him with a baleful, glassy-eyed stare. Those empty, soulless eyes brimmed with power and Meepo cringed away from the dragonblooded boy until Sal struck the thing with his sword and the malefic energy vanished.

Burble's hand glowed with energy as he leaped into the air, trying to touch Jaryth's back and stop the boy's rapid bleeding, to no avail. Short halfling legs could only carry him so far into the air. Jaryth coughed again and the stream of blood flowing from his mouth burst forth eagerly, like floodwaters down a river. Meepo wondered how much blood such a small human could hold. If Jaryth had so much in him, Meepo may want to fast for a few days before he tried to drink up all inside such a large vessel as Rowland.

Spined claws tore into Sal as the fish-thing continued its assault. Meepo had sent two more crossbow bolts after his first, and like the first neither had so much as inconvenienced the acid-spewing fish-thing. Burble again leaped for Jaryth and again fell short while Sal and Lorn hacked at it with their swords. Bryant pushed forward to join them and Rowland tossed another arcane bolt into its body.

Now swords were having some effect, and the creature could only seal the rents in its scaly hide more slowly. Made of water though it may be, the fish-thing's substance flowed with less speed than before. Its eyes cast about and wide, milky lids flicked over them repeatedly. Jaryth coughed once more, spraying Burble with his blood.

Once more Meepo sensed power building around the fish-thing, but Sal hacked savagely into it and it suddenly lost all cohesion as the energy vanished and it fell to a puddle in the floor.

That was quick, too quick. Meepo expected the thing to rise again in moments. It had only begun to slow. Whatever water demon it had been, it must still have a trick up its sleeve. Burble leaped again and this time he touched Jaryth's backside. The boy's bleeding stopped and Meepo sighed. It would have been nice to lose both the mad boy and Embrill in the same day.

Sal grumbled and stabbed his sword into the puddle regardless, "Bloody floating fish, it deserved to die." He then trod pointedly through the puddle and reached into the keg from which it had emerged. Meepo wondered if he'd lose his hand that way, but instead the dwarf drew out five small blue gems.

Burble was on top of things, as always. "Ok boyos, good job and that was a great hit Sal. Now will someone help to get the runt down before he falls on his head and starts to bleed out again?"

Meepo didn't see exactly what was wrong with letting Jaryth fall to his death. The whelp had already tried it once today, and a second time would only improve his chances of succeeding. He made a mental note to keep a close eye on Sal, though. Anyone that could fell a water-thing with a single blow when it had barely been wounded deserved watching. He'd been showing off his martial prowess for some time, but if Meepo had meant to set to watching the dwarf before, he'd forgotten his charge. Sal would make a very useful bodyguard.

Burble carefully looked over the gems Sal had found and pronounced them valuable, though not greatly so. He'd only examined the problem of getting Jaryth off the ceiling for a moment before deciding it was of no import to him. Meepo heartily agreed.

The others looked curiously at Jaryth, still hanging some ten feet from the floor while Burble noticed Rhea was gone. Meepo told him she'd fled during the battle, judiciously avoiding admitting that he'd nearly followed. Burble was outraged, "Damn that b****. I will gut her for taking off in combat, Damn wench deserves to be fed to the fricken rats for her damn cowardly butt."

Lorn responded stiffly, "You should not talk about Rhea as such. She was a woman, and this is no place for her. It was about time she realized it." This was no place for a kobold either, but of course Lorn couldn't be bothered with such trifles as Meepo's peace of mind. If he were, he'd have killed himself long ago, instead of just trying every now and then. Meepo wished for once the lackwit could get something right.

Burble had been bandaging his and Meepo's wounds, but he stopped in the middle of wrapping a cloth about a bleeding cut in his leg to reply to Lorn with his customary tact, "Well you want her, go chase after her yellow bellied ass. I personally will slit her throat for stealing our oil and gold. Now we shall have to head to a town a lot sooner then we planned on.”

Meepo was impressed with Burble's forthrightness. It wasn't often a non-kobold displayed such exemplary priorities in such a frank and honest manner. The halfling must have kobold blood in him somewhere. If it weren't for that burn-scarred face, Meepo wondered if he'd see scales around Burble's eyes.

The humans fell silent for a few moments, and looked up at Jaryth. They all knew he couldn't stay on the ceiling forever. Eventually that spider would vanish entirely and he would fall to the ground. It was Rowland who acted quickly when it finally vanished. He spoke a single word and Meepo again felt a thrill of energy as Jaryth's fall slowed to a gentle descent to the ground. He was awfully disappointed that the whelp's brains didn't end up decorating the floor along with his blood. Damn Rowland.

But Meepo didn't have long to bemoan Jaryth's continued life. The door at the far end of the hallway, where Rhea had run, creaked suddenly. The woman had left it ajar when she fled, and now a light spilled through the small crack between the door's edge and the wall.

"Oh blast it!" a man's voice hissed as the door creaked. There was a long silence and Burble drew his bow. Meepo got his crossbow in hand and a bolt ready. Burble scurried quietly a bit closer to the door.

"Huh?" the same voice whispered. There was another silence and then, "Oh all right!"

The door opened wide and torchlight dazzled human and kobold eyes alike for a moment. The group's own light was at the other end of the corridor, nearer to Jaryth. A tall figure was shadowed by the light, and beside him a shorter one of a height with Burble and Meepo. The silhouette of a recurved bow was obvious in the tall figure's hand. It looked to be drawn.

The two shadowed figures whispered too quietly to discern words, but eventually the shorter one nudged the taller. He raised his bow a bit higher. It wasn't clear whether the two realized they'd been spotted or not. The tall figure took a single step further and as his light fell on the nearest members of the group, Burble shot an arrow that struck hard into the figure's shoulder.

"Get those bastards. Trying to sneak up on me, will you. Meepo take them out. Might be Rhea trying to sneak back the damn wench. Teach her a lesson I tell you. May the rats get your bloated bodies you filth of dung." The halfling shouted.

"Good shot to be sure, but even with an arrow in my shoulder, I can still pin a fly to the wall in the dark. How about you show yourself before this has to get messy?" The tall figure spoke. He almost sounded as though he were amused.

Trust a human to be amused by an arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Meepo wondered if this were amusing, would they find one through their skulls downright hilarious? He'd have to find out some day.

"Sneak up me will you? And bet your bloated life it was a good shot. Drop your weapons and identify yourself, or you get shot again. Laugh at me while you try to kill me? No way Bucko. No fricken way. " Burble nocked another arrow.

The small figure whispered just audibly to the tall one, "Perhaps they are dumber than even Lord Semmon realized..." Meepo didn't know who Lord Semmon was, but the humans he was saddled with were certainly stupider than any would imagine until one endured prolonged exposure to them.

Lorn spoke up, "The two of you invade our camp, and then insult us when we defend ourselves. You would be wise to identify yourselves, or Burble's bolt will not be the only thing causing you to bleed."

"Thanks Lorn and you said it. Damned idiots come up without a care and you bet your rear I will shoot first. Could have been goblins for all I knew." Meepo thought that sounded like a rationalization. Burble must be thinking fast on his feet and trying to play the group against these strangers to strengthen his power base.

"Which isn't much." Lorn said, referring to all Burble knew. Meepo reminded himself that even with Embrill gone, there were still threats to Burble's power around.

"Lord Semmon say you? How do you know of that one?" Burble wasn't so hostile now. Lord Semmon sounded like a chieftan. Maybe he had threatened to kill the humans if they didn't fetch these other humans that the group was looking for. "Meepo, cover them and get ready to kill them should they try to attack." As if Meepo needed to be told. "Ok, identify yourselves."

The small figure responded again. It must do the thinking for the human. "We were not aware these halls were your singular province. We have been sent by Lord Semmon, in search of the... rescue… party sent by his knights. Lower your weapons."

A light was brought forward. Rowland's doing. Now the newcomers could see the whole of the group. Shut up in this corridor, they'd make wonderful targets. Meepo hoped Lorn and Jaryth died first. "This three are all that remain of the original party sent by Lord Semmon.” Lorn gestured to Bryant, Sal, and Burble. “I have joined them in this worthy cause. Don't ask about those two.” He gestured towards Meepo and Jaryth.

Humans learned swiftly. Talking hadn't worked for the fish-thing, so it must work for the next thing with two legs they ran into.

"Is it safe to move forward, or will another volley of arrows send us to death's embrace?" Meepo noticed how hoarse and raspy the small figure's voice was. He wondered what was under that cloak which kept it hidden. A small owl perched on its shoulder. The tall one was a thin human, another Lorn most likely.

"Well you're the ones coming up on us, and you have yet to identify yourselves or show who you are, so you bet I will keep you covered. We have faced death enough, so I can live with another time to keep my wards up." Burble was angry, but there was an edge to it. He must realize that the party was still battered from their battle with the fish-thing. Maybe if they threw Jaryth at the strangers… It would be a distraction at least.

Burble took the risk and introduced himself. Meepo supposed it was wise. These strangers might end up being useful tools, and they'd be easier to manipulate if they knew names. Humans tended to trust more when they knew a name, at least when it was another human's name. Kobold names didn't get such consideration.

"Burble, lower your weapon and let them speak." Lorn insisted. Meepo noticed that for all Lorn's bluster about letting the humans speak he hadn't revealed his own name to them yet.

"Then you go talk with them, me, I am staying right here. They can speak all they want, but I damn well do not want them closer till I know some names and what they want with us."

"FINALLY! The voice of sanity comes to us like a cool breeze off the waters! My thanks to you good sir. A round at the pub has your name on it, my treat!" The tall one complimented Lorn. He bowed, but didn't put up his bow.

"Colvin of Keoland. I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I'm sure had I done so, you would have recognized the name and not been so hasty with your bow, my little friend. After all, it's not every day one catches the fastest bowstring on both sides of the Azure Sea unawares!" Meepo had no idea who the human was. He couldn't be that important. In fact, Meepo couldn't think of any human who struck him as terribly important.

"Lord Semmon tasked us to check these ruins for signs of his wards. He likely assumed you all dead by this point I'm guessing. What a treat to see you alive and.." he touched the arrow sticking from his shoulder with a wince "...in such fighting form."

 

[Samnell]

XIV-Missing, and Found

Wherein our hero finds a missing companion, and hears of past misadventures.

Lord Semmon, some sun-loving god-kissing human from the aboveground had sent Burble and the humans here. This same Lord Semmon had sent these two newcomers. That was typical. Only a human would send two groups of humans after the same goal and expect anything short of utter ruin. One gathering of daylight-fetishists was bad enough. Two was a kobold's nightmare. Meepo was glad he hadn't conceived of it in his dreams. He needed what sleep he could get; knowing that for some time in the night Lorn would be guarding him.

The tall one was another Lorn. Meepo was positive. He wasn't so heavily armored, but he had Burble's arrow sticking out of his shoulder and he was smiling about it. The two suicidal warriors would surely find companionship in their shared idiocy. Granted, most all humans Meepo had met shared some of Lorn's disregard for his own life, but few seemed to take such perverse glee in throwing their lives away then these two. Their gods must love them.

Sal spoke up, not content with seeing how well talking had done last time he tried it. "Burble, perhaps I could meet them part way and we could talk without you putting any more arrows in their hides? Lorn, would you care to join me? And Meepo, how about lowering that crossbow so I don't end up with another projectile sticking out of my shoulder."

That offended Meepo. He hadn't shot Sal in the shoulder. That was Bryant. If Sal wanted to kill anyone over it, he should kill the quiet human. No, that was a bad idea. Sal should kill one of the blathering humans first to make Meepo's days that much quieter. But a kobold could only dream.

"Go for it Sal. Just watch your rear." Burble said.

Meepo sighed. He might as well play along. He lowered his crossbow and cast his eyes towards the floor in what he imagined was a look of contrition. "Meepo not shoot Sal. Bryant shoot Sal. Meepo shoot Embrill." He finished with a self-satisfied nod and held his snout high. At least he had set the record straight.

Then Meepo realized his error. This must be corrected. "No, Meepo shoot Worthless Druid." He spit on the floor and raised his snout even higher. "Worthless Druid with wolf
mate." The thought of it restored some of that contentment within him.

"You're right my friend and I am just sorry that I ever broke down to help that ******* or you could not have killed him with your shot. Hope that the damned rats can track him down and kill him for all to see." That was a nice thought on Burble's part. It warmed Meepo's heart. " I would join you in the spit Meepo, but not that fricker is not even worth spit."

Meepo nodded, "Meepo think rats not like Worthless Druid. Worthless Druid worth something if makes nice rat stomachs. Meepo say Worthless Druid worthless all the time." Having espoused his personal philosophy on the matter, Meepo was momentarily content.

Sal worked his way through the group, "I'm not going to apologize for my friends actions there, we have had some... problems on this rescue mission, but I think I may be able to
help all of us out if you will allow me to come over and talk with you two."

Problems? They had problems? Meepo hadn't guessed. Could those problems be mad, suicidal, humans? No, humans were only like that in the stories. Never mind that those stories are based entirely on reality.

Sal leaned towards Meepo and Burble as he passed the friends, "If things go south, I'm going to leap to the left side of the corridor, do me a favor and aim to the right slightly..." He continued speaking up and addressing the newcomers again. "Ha, I see you have a fine lantern there. Just out of curiosity do you happen to have any extra oil in your packs? We suddenly find ourselves with less than we'd like to have."

Maybe this could go well after all. Sal wasn't quite so stupid as Lorn or Rowland. He couldn't be or Burble wouldn't call him a friend. Burble clearly had impeccable taste in friends. How else would he have named Meepo a friend?

The tall one had relaxed a bit. "Certainly! I'm sure it'll be to all of our advantages to parley for a bit. And as for this?" he indicated his wound "It's nothing that some ointment and a nice clean bandage won't help." He winced as he mentioned it. Meepo hoped it hurt. He deserved it for sneaking up on the group like that. Besides, he was a human. It's not like accidentally maiming a human would be something to feel bad about. Colvin leaned suddenly to one side and Meepo hoped he would fall. The tall archer steadied himself, though.

"Well, I'm not too sure about the oil. It's Rillith's lantern and I suppose she would know better than I how much oil she has. I only have a couple of torches myself. But should you need them..."

Rillith. That was the short one's name. It must be. Now what was she under those robes? A halfling? A kobold? Could she be a gnome? Meepo hated gnomes. All sane folk did. Everyone knew what murderous, cutthroats gnomes were. They snuck into kobold homes at night and stole away hatchlings for their sick gods to devour. They conducted midnight ceremonies to steal the lives of innocent kobolds to bolster their own flagging souls. Meepo could not, would not stand for that under any circumstances.

Every civilized kobold knew that gnome hatchlings were to be stolen in the night and sacrificed to Kurtulmak. Gnomes, in their perversity, had it entirely backwards. Likewise, gnome souls existed only to feed kobold souls. By their very existence, gnomes polluted the world. Sick deviants and worse were the respected leaders of gnome society.

"Here, let me take a look at that. It's the least we can do after one of our group decided to shoot first, and ask questions later." Lorn said as he stepped forward to examine Colvin's wound.

After all of this, Burble seemed to remember he had a tongue again. "So you're Colvin, eh? Well Semmon sent you and you found us, though I wonder at the timing. Well you can talk with Lorn, Rowland, Bryant, or even Sal if he wants. Me I will keep an eye on you and your … companion. I have had too many troubles with newcomers and idiots who split out with money and goods. So I see you're an archer. What or who is your ... friend? As you heard from others, I am Burble."

Burble was right to be suspicious of the small one, but he was overlooking the danger Colvin presented. Just because he was foolish enough to name himself didn't mean that he wasn't a threat. Just look how dangerous Lorn was despite what must have been a crippling head injury in his childhood.

Rowland roused himself from staring into his bird's tail feathers or whatever it was he was doing. Seeing the newcomers apparently for the first time, he introduced himself, "Hi. I'm Rowland. Kid Sorcerer." Meepo couldn't see how humans let live someone who introduced himself like that. "Glad to meet you. Do either of you have any healing prowess? Our young friend here is sorely injured." Rowland indicated Jaryth.

After considering Colvin's injury, Rowland continued, "Um...not that I meant to dismiss your injury, sir. Just that the boy is near death."

"Sadly I do not. As for my companion?" Colvin looked questioningly at the short one next to him. It merely shook its head. Meepo desperately wanted to know what was under those dark robes.

Burble chimed in., "Well if they cannot, I will heal the brat tomorrow, after I get some healing back from the Rogue of All. Silly twit climbing up like that only made himself a target." Meepo sighed. The things Burble did to keep the peace with these fools and idiots he was saddled with. Of course they lacked the wit to appreciate them.

"Oh no! Not at all." Colvin replied. He then answered Lorn, "My thanks to you, good sir. Did I catch your name perchance?" His short companion stepped away to one side and tended the owl perched on its shoulder.

Colvin took the time to address Burble as Lorn tended his wound, "Well met, Sir Burble. I understand your..OWW! ...caution. You have my word though that Rillith and myself mean you...” He hesitated as he winced in pain. “…no ill will." Meepo made note of the short one's name.

"My name is Lorn Gallain, former paladin at your service." Yes, the name Meepo cursed every waking moment. Now that Embrill was gone, he didn't have much active opposition, but Lorn's raw stupidity could easily be the end of everyone.

Sal must have had enough of his precious talking, so he suggested something new. "My name is Sal Lodrun, and I'm glad to meet ya. If you're offering your help here, I for one will gladly accept it. We can use all the help we can get. But perhaps we could talk in a nice closed-door room and not in the hallway here. These hallways have nearly killed
Burble, myself and if we don't get to work, they might finish off Jaryth here. Perhaps you will join us in helping to get him to a room we've been hole'in up in?"

The hallways finishing off Jaryth… That was a pleasant thought. Meepo wished the floor would grow a mouth and devour the mad whelp where he lay. Sal suggested a makeshift stretcher to move Jaryth, and the others agreed. While they got to work, he pulled Burble aside. Meepo was there too, of course. He had no intention of helping get Jaryth out of the hallway.

"Burble, I know the kid is a pain, and you have a pretty good hatred of him, but we need him on his feet again. He may prove himself to be of a great help to us. Remember, he's a kid, he's going to make some mistakes."

Some mistakes? Only some mistakes? The whelp's whole life could have only been a mistake. Meepo doubted even humans laid eggs intending to produce children that, even by their lax standards, were clearly insane.

"I will agree with you Sal, that we should all get behind the locked door and rest. I am tired of the fighting at least for today. With Jaryth, I do not hate the pain, just am sick and tired of his mouth and insults. I had enough of them from Embrill and even Rhea. I said it before, I will heal him tomorrow, and so unless the other with Corwin has healing, it will have to wait. I will attend his wounds through the night, as well as others, and I might ask Lorn to help me with mine. Tomorrow I will have healing back. I only have the one minor and I will save that until I sleep in case we have combat again."

The thought of Lorn helping Burble didn't sit at all well with Meepo, but he couldn't help it. Even with his vast kobold experience he knew only to bandage bleeding wounds. The finer points of medicine were well beyond him. Lorn couldn't be much better, but Burble seemed to think so. That was an unsettling revelation, to say the least.

Colvin interjected, "That's COLVIN. Colvin. Mustn't have the wrong name make it's
way into the bard's tales now, eh?" He grinned like an idiot. Meepo noted that Colvin seemed to do that a lot. Burble just shrugged.

Gravely, Rowland reacted to the halfling's offer of healing for Jaryth. "We'd all appreciate it very much, Burble. Please help Jaryth." The humans would appreciate Burble? Meepo didn't believe it. They certainly hadn't before.

With little further yammering, Meepo and the humans filed back into the same room they'd rested within before and passed the day and night quietly. Meepo didn't much care for how quickly these strangers had been accepted, but he knew the humans wouldn't take his cautions seriously. They weren't bright enough to understand the objections in any case.

Morning found Lorn complaining of fever and stiff, painful joints. That was exactly what Sal had suffered before, according to Burble. Meepo knew it to be a sign of the rat sickness, carried by the foul beasts on their grime-caked teeth. Some kobolds had died from it. Perhaps Lorn would join them. Meepo would gladly suffer the loss of such an appealing target for foes in exchange for not attracting so many in the first place.

Burble made the rounds with his healing magic. Meepo wondered if his god minded that it was wasted on witless humans.

Jaryth had mended well, and he wasted no time polluting the chamber with his prattle once more. "Hmm… Do you know how to cure diseases? I saw a priest do it once...
But… then again the guy ended up dead anyways, so I'm not sure if he really did cure the man, or just pretended to. I wouldn't heal someone if a knife were pressed to my throat, probably try and save it for myself...."

Alarms went off in Meepo's mind. The whelp might still be mad, but he was showing signs of a dangerous level of intelligence again. Rillith had remained quiet and stayed off out of the way with her bird. Meepo didn't like it. She was too quiet and wary. She must be a threat. This day of rest had become more and more stressful for Meepo.

"Nope, not in me at this time. I am but a minor cog in the Rogue of All's gamble. All I can suggest is some good rest and myself watching over him. Or he can move on and try to just live with the effects. I know I came very close to getting sick yesterday, but I had the grace of my God to draw a new card in deck of life." Burble deigned to answer the whelp.

"Sorry Lorn, only thing that is going to help you is rest and sleep. I can't do more then I already have... Hope you can walk, if we are heading out. Seeing our oil, courtesy of the witch Rhea, is so damned low, if we are not going into combat we should head back to the surface and rest near the mounts. I am getting tired of this room, plus it's starting to stink with or waste and all. We only got enough food for about four days and oil for maybe two." Burble was right; the room did reek. Humans weren't sensible enough to sleep well away from where they left their waste. Meepo wondered if wallowing in it was one of their religious observances.

"Ack! Another sign of my shame. Heironeous has withdrawn his protection against ailments from me." Lorn moaned. Meepo decided he would at least enjoy Lorn's suffering while it lasted, death or no. "I think I will be alright for the time being."

"You should not be so hard on Rhea," Lorn continued weakly. "She was a woman and did not truly belong in such a dangerous occupation. You can't blame her for panicking." Meepo thought Lorn was letting his being in heat interfere with his thinking, what little of it he did. He couldn't imagine the stupid human having any other reason for such a foolish statement. Yusdrayl would have had his precious parts for that. Meepo dearly wished he were in a position to do the same. Things like Lorn shouldn't be able to spawn.

"Do you realize what you're saying?" Jaryth asked Lorn incredulously.

"Sorry warrior, I disagree with you. She stole from the group, bugged out when she could have left before we came down, and treated me like dung. So I will have to think of her as I see fit. You have your way and I have mine. You want to try to go rest above?" Burble asked almost amiably.

Sal was considering the situation and ignoring Lorn and Jaryth. "I don't think we should head back up yet. This has been the only place we've been able to sleep undisturbed by ourselves. Even with trip lines and posting watches we still will have to assume that we'll be getting some sort of company at some time. There's too much activity up there already.”

“I suggest a couple of other alternatives. For the lack of oil, let's try conserving what we have left. Since we've got people that can see in dim light or even no light, let's make use of that. We can have watches set up to watch the only door, and some sort of system light the lantern if and when we do see some sort of movement. It won't be easy for those in the dark, but it would save some oil. Another suggestion, instead of heading everybody back up to the top, let's send part of the group up, those that are healthy and able to travel. We could take a look and see if Rhea left those supplies someplace along the way, or if she even made it to the top at all. But if we do go, we'll have to do it with very little noise. That seems to be attracting those rats faster than Bard's to an Inn."

Sal's eyes wandered freely, ensuring that his rambling singled out no one person.

"If you don't mind the dumb barbarian making a few suggestions, how about Meepo, Burble, Jaryth and Lorn staying here. Meepo has the ability to see when it's dark so that the group could keep the use of the lantern oil to a minimum. The rest of us could head back up and see if we could find any traces of Rhea and those supplies. We could also check on the animials if we wanted to. If we travel quickly we should be able to make it there and back in less than a day."

"For a dumb barbarian, you make a lot of sense." Jaryth grinned that mad grin again. "But, it might be unwise to leave us without a strong and healthy warrior--no offense Lorn. Although, it does give us time to talk about some things." Meepo would be entirely happy to leave Jaryth with Lorn if the whelp was set on it. He could see it now. Lorn and Jaryth holed up together in their own filth with a neat trail of rations leading to the door left accidentally ajar.

Lorn fixed Jaryth with a stare. "Even ill I'm more than enough for the likes of you."

"I mean… You talk about the rule of good and law, and yet insist on oppressing women. Are ALL women supposed to be bare-assed and barefoot behind a stove, waiting for her man to come home? That's just not right. Oh sure, women may act nicer than men sometimes, but, I think that's just how they were raised. I've known some very cruel women. Trust me, if they want to, women can be just about the most cunning and cruel opponents you will ever face." Jaryth rambled on about how females were evil, yet deserving all manner of respect and fair treatment. Meepo wondered if he even realized that succoring those who you consider your enemies is suicide. Being a human, probably not.

"Cruel and cunning they may be, but that does not make them warriors. An honorable man protects his woman. Places such as this are ill fitting them...and children as well. Why don't you run on home? You have no business being here, and you only end up getting yourself killed. You almost died yesterday. I wouldn't count on being so fortunate a second time." Lorn answered the whelp. Meepo hoped he'd be dull enough to take the fool's advice.

"Oh... Wait... When did Rhea become your woman? You don't own women, or anyone!" Jaryth balled his hands into tight fists and let his breath go in a long gust.
"Wait... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean I can be mean to you." He walked over to Lorn and held out his hand. "Truce? I really want to try to be friends with you guys… Or… At least companions. I know I'm a kid and I'm pain... But I can be useful. I want to be at least, if you'll let me." More demented mood swings.

"Why here? And why us instead of someone in a nice safe town?” Meepo wanted to kill Lorn. Now the whelp was sure to inflict his life story on all in earshot.

"Probably the same reason as me, I want to help people. This is a good way to start."

"This isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'd much rather be in the city than in running around caves of this isolated region." Of course Lorn would want to be around more humans like himself. Together they could manage the level of stupidity a lone human could only dream of.

"But, you're doing it. Why?" Why couldn't Jaryth just have killed himself when he tried? Meepo couldn't stand failure.

"Why not? I'm a budding sorcerer, but I still can't climb on walls. He's an orphan; he's obviously got some talent. Let him come along." Rowland shrugged and laughed.

Jaryth smiled his madman's grin. "Thankee."

"To redeem myself in the eyes of Heironeous." Lorn laughed. "Guess I'm not doing to good a job at it given my current situation."

"I'm confused.... how do you know if you're redeemed or not?" Meepo thought it was probably when the last thought left your mind, given what he knew of human theology.

"When a priest of Heironeous restores my powers." Lorn gave Jaryth a look that made it clear Lorn thought the boy stupid for asking. Meepo did as well, but certainly not for the same reasons as Lorn.

"So why won't he do it now? I mean… you're a great guy! You're nice, and you seem to be just the kind of person my…father…loathes. Which means, you're a paladin. That's pretty much the opposite of him. Nice, kind-hearted, valiant, just, all that other good stuff." Meepo thought that he'd probably respect Jaryth's father, human or no, for being the opposite of Lorn. He'd have to be sort of like Burble that way.

"It is a matter I prefer not to speak of, and I doubt one of your...inexperienced years...would fully be able to understand." Meepo stifled a chuckle at the thought that Lorn understood anything, let alone more so than another might.

"Hey, I may be a kid, but I'm not stupid. I mean my dad's a lich. And I had a succubus for a nanny…at least, until she decided that her hunger was greater than her fear of my parents. I don't know what happened to her after that...." A lich? A dragonblooded undead? Maybe Meepo could sell his wayward son's soul back to him. "So, there's really not that much that'll shock me, or bother me. I won't think any less of you for anything. I mean, what did you do? Fail to save the fair maiden? Or, did you maybe fail your quest? Shirk your duty because of war? What?"

"Well, then let's just say I was not discreet enough with whom I shared my bed." Meepo shuddered. Lorn was already breeding. Rillith suddenly glanced Lorn's way.

"Oh... That's all? Why would Hieroneous cast you out for that?" Meepo thought it was probably because even a human god trembled at the thought of someone like Lorn spawning more like himself.

"I am not at liberty to discuss it." Lorn said stiffly. Meepo wondered if he was embarrassed that he'd bred.

"Did you fall in love?" That was Rillith. Meepo noted that her soft, raspy voice was clearly female.

Lorn nodded. "Unfortunately, that wasn't enough." The thought of young Lorns in the world above was far more than enough for Meepo.

"Why? I don't understand why Hieroneous would be that mean as to remove you of your paladin status because you had sex with some woman…" He was a human god. He was supposed to have reasonable standards?

"It wasn't just SOME woman! It was...a woman unsuitable for one of my position." Meepo wondered why a dung sweeper would want to have sex with Lorn.

Rillith was taking more interest now, "A commoner? An outcast? A lady of the evening?"

"No, it was the otherway actually." Lorn pointedly ignored Jaryth's suggestion that the lady in question was a high priestess of Iuz.

"Humph, I don't think Hieroneous would do that… He's too nice. Pholtus definitely would… but not Hieroneous."

Jaryth started and pulled out a softly glowing gem. "Oh hush, you, it's true... what? Oh… alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that Pholtus was a crotchety and horribly rigid stick in the mud who wouldn't know a good time if it slapped him in the face. But, he would cast out one of his paladins for falling in love with someone not to his liking. That is true." He put the gem back into his jerkin. "What's so bad about falling in love? Love's a good thing. At least that's what I'm told... I haven't been in love yet.."

Jaryth talking to his glowing gem worried Meepo greatly. Did it hold some of the will-sapping essence of the dead Thurston? Was it even now slowly eroding the willpower of the group? How long before all were turned into god- twisted madmen?

The two kept on yammering at each other, but Meepo managed to tune them out.

"Well folks, I for one want to get out of here and I think we do indeed need another day of healing, seeing I am the only healer, plus Lorn is real sick. I can help get us to the well and we can then see if the witch took the mule and horse or not, and if not, well to see if they are alive regardless. We can save oil for a new search, as we can move on to a new entrance, unless we want to chance rats again. Meepo, will you come, or will you want to stay. I know you hate the sun, but for once, I need to see it, plus I cannot see in the dark like you and Sal can." Meepo hated it, but he knew that Burble's asking ensured he was coming.

'”If you want to stay, I will come back tomorrow to look for you. " Burble moved to the door, but didn't leave just yet.

Meepo reluctantly gathered his few possessions. "Meepo go with Burble."

"Glad to have you then my friend," Burble said warmly. Meepo found himself taking absurd pride in that and once more wondered what the humans had infected him with. "So the rest of you staying or heading out?"

"Well, clearly you all know the group dynamic much better than I. I'm willing to go wherever my skills are best needed. Although I must admit that it seems a bit..." He hesitated "...'unheroic?' to go rushing back up into the light with every minor setback? Please don't take my words out of hand. I mean no disrespect." Colvin opined.

Colvin's gaze wandered to where Lorn lay prostrate. "But then there IS our sickened paladin to worry about. Hrmmmm…"

"I can't see any reason to check on the horse and mule. I'm sure they'll be OK." Rowland's certainty confirmed to Meepo that the horse and mule could only be dead.

"Not an unreasonable suggestion, Kid Sorceror. Were it not for Sir Lorn's illness, I'd vote to press on. But being as it's not my decision to make..." Colvin offered. Meepo once again considered how stupid Rowland's chosen appellation sounded.

Tired of the arguing and detailing of Lorn's personal life, Burble and Meepo crept out of the room while none were looking. Through the corridor, courtyard, and up the stairs they went. Meepo endured the blazing of the sun for only moments before he discovered, along with Burble, what had become of Rhea.

Lashed upside down to one of the stone pillars by the ravine was Rhea. Her arms were bound wickedly back so tightly was clear her shoulders were broken. Blood had streamed down the pillar and dried in the dirt about. Her torso had been split open and her ribcage torn asunder to leave her entrails, fly-ridden ropes and balls of black, streaming down over her face. Her mouth had been twisted into a weird rictus grin so that she smiled out any climbing up the rope from below, including Burble and Meepo. Deep furrows had been cut in both her cheeks and her eyes were gouged out and set inside her open, grinning mouth.

Rhea's gear was scattered wildly about, all torn, broken, and defiled. Only her gold remained, taken from wherever she kept it and packed into her torso amid her fallen-out innards. Meepo nearly fell over when his eyes fell upon the dead woman. He wanted to vomit.

 

[Samnell]

XV-Rising Blood, Gold, and Gorge

Wherein our even our hero is sickened.

Rhea's body hung in a cloud of buzzing flies. Her innards were covered with a pebbled, throbbing mass. Meepo felt his own innards twist and lurch about as the stench of dead human assaulted his nose. It reeked even worse than dead kobold, which he would have supposed was fitting were he feeling at all well. Anything a kobold did a human could do mind-bogglingly worse.

Yet Burble stood there, regarding the body calmly. He was saying something about how Rhea deserved it and he wasn't at all sorry it had happened and so on. He seemed mostly oblivious to Meepo's plight. He strode up to the corpse and boldly plunged his hands in among the gore and flies and blood. Methodically, the halfling drew out all of the gold he could find. Meepo nearly fainted when he saw Burble rooting around in Rhea's torso for yet more coin.

When the burned halfling was satisfied he pulled out his waterskin and doused all the coin thoroughly. It was heady with the stench of blood and death, but Meepo was getting some control of himself now. As long as he didn't look directly at Rhea's body, he could control his stomach and keep himself from enduring a review of his morning rations.

Burble offered Meepo a share of the gold then and there, asking as well if he'd like the halfling to hold on to it. Meepo didn't care. He said something he forgot a second later as he tried to keep his stomach under control once more against thoughts of the sticky, only barely cleaned coins that moments before were amid the gore and masses of flies in Rhea's torso.

Then, mercifully, Burble agreed that it was time to go back down into the ravine. Meepo thought he might have said something about his mule being gone without a trace and no tracks or anything to point to Rhea's killer, but at every mention of Rhea Meepo fought to keep his rations where they belonged.

The cool, sunless darkness was even more welcome than usual for Meepo. Each step was another away from Rhea's corpse and the grisly spectacle it presented. Now that its smell didn't assail him constantly, he could admit that were he inclined to terrify someone a display like that would do the trick. That thought didn't sit well with him. Had Thurston's sun god sent some kind of killer after them?

Rhea hadn't done any harm to Thurston, but this was a human god Meepo was considering. If it had the wit to send an assassin in revenge it wasn't all-too likely to send the assassin after the correct parties. Even if it did, how could the servant of a human god be expected to get a job done properly? Their whole perverse religion centered around stupidity.

Kobold and halfling found themselves back where the rest of the humans had taken refuge almost before Meepo had shaken himself from his thoughts of the skill with which Rhea must have been cut open and arranged. If he could find someone that skilled for Yusdrayl…and Lorn…and the Whelp…perhaps he could track down Worthless Dung Druid as well.

Burble knocked quietly on the door the humans hid behind and then stepped in. "Well it was not a wasted trip all. The mule and Thurston's horse, as well as the saddles, are gone. I could find no sign of who or what took them, but they are good and gone."

"Oh another thing," Burble added nonchalantly. "Rhea's dead. Tortured, mutilated and gouged. Tied up at the top of the well the oil is all destroyed, as was the rest of the gear. For some strange reason, they did not take her money, Just stuffed it in her body. " He drew a flask from his belt. "We found it. I already got my share and Meepo has his. Split it up as you will." Meepo didn't remember taking a share in his fits of nausea, but he did notice an extra bulk in his backpack. He wouldn't object to having the coin. It was just payment for all the indignities he had suffered with these humans. "So are we resting another day or do we press on?" Burble concluded.

Colvin blinked, "Oh my..."Colvin didn't know the half of it. He was a human though, so this was nothing new.

"Where? How far? How?" Rillith asked quietly. Meepo wondered why she took such an interest in a recently dead corpse. She and Rhea couldn't have known each other.

Meepo shook his head warily. "Meepo not like. This not make nice Meepo. Not not make nice like Worthless Druid not make nice Meepo. Not make nice Meepo like Kurtulmak's Blood Scream not make nice Meepo." The kobold shivered at the thought of the Blood Scream. "Meepo not want meet what not make nice Rhea." Unless of course it could be persuaded to demonstrate its talents on certain of the humans he was saddled with.

Burble laid a comforting hand on Meepo's shoulder and the kobold experienced that cloying feeling of warmth again, "Meepo, you're right, not even Rhea deserves that kind of death. I will try to see that nothing harms you in any way in that manner, and if we can, we will try to make sure we kill the vermin that did this." In the back of his mind, Meepo worried that he was so reassured by this. He was entirely too uncritical of Burble and he couldn't seem to stop.

Lorn shook his head and made a quick prayer to his god. Meepo didn't understand this human fascination with god- kissing. Proper gods ensured worship through fear and the visiting of unspeakable tortures on their foes. Talking to them when you didn't have something for them to devour, or at very least take and amuse themselves with for a time, amounted to begging to be the next victim of divine wrath. But Lorn's god was human. Meepo couldn't reasonably expect it to behave rationally.

Bryant sighed, "Doesn't sound like something the rats are capable of." Meepo hoped not. There were too many rats around with them just as they were. Having clever butchers and assassins amongst them wasn't a pleasant thought at all.

"This was no rat. Too deliberate and focused. Plus, it happened at the top of the well, so I doubt any rats could have gotten up there. Plus they would have killed the mounts as well." Meepo conceded that Burble was probably right about that. He didn't want to think too hard about what may have taken the horses and left without a trace.

"Burble not kill Rhea." Any chance for Meepo to establish himself in agreement with a human was a bit more of a shield against what passed for hostile thoughts in their minds.

Lorn gave Burble a long, hard look. "And how can we sure that the vermin is not you? You did swear you would kill her if you ever caught up with her again." The idiot warrior was right for once. No good could come of this.

The mad whelp chimed in, "He did the same to Thurston, and he's dead too. Murdered in our bedroom while I slept." Meepo could be grateful for the pleasant memories the boy stirred later. Right now he'd rather that Thurston's death be forgotten by the humans so Rhea's would look like more of an isolated incident. Colvin tensed.

"And your proof of this is so lacking it's silly to bring this up yet again." Bryant responded. That was a surprise to Meepo. The silent one could be a valuable ally.

"Oh he did threaten Thruston. and Thurston is dead. You can take that one to the gods." Jaryth shrugged. "But, I'm making no accusation, simply stating facts. Thurston's perfectly happy where he is at the moment, so I don't see any need to go out and find his killer. I'm sure that his murder is very pleased with his deed. Me, I have what I wanted, and so does Thurston. So, everyone is happy and there's really no point in going on about it." Meepo wondered why Jaryth did go on about it if there was nothing to go on about. Being human, the whelp probably didn't even recognize the contradiction.

"Certainly hope this is this last we have to hear about it then." Bryant said flatly. Meepo had to stifle a laugh.

"I wonder. How up to snuff I am? I mean I feel like crap. But maybe I can do something. That is if we decide to head for the outside." Jaryth summoned his ghostly spider and climbed a ways up the wall. He reached the ceiling and looked down. "Heehee. You all look really funny from up here."

Meepo decided to take a rish, all the while paying mind to Burble's defense of himself. He drew one of Thurston's potions out of his backpack. "Boy hurt. Meepo help boy. Meepo stole from Yusdrayl. Dragon water makes nice wounds. Boy drink, it make nice." Jaryth was stupid enough to believe that, and none could gainsay Meepo's word. They knew Yusdrayl had things of magic. He held the flask up where the whelp could reach.

Jaryth walked down and took the flask. "Thanks, Meepo. Heh, Meepo the Rat Killer. Naw that's too dumb. How does Meepo Goblin Slayer sound?" The Whelp was a human, all right. He was stupid enough to trust Meepo moments after accusing Meepo's friend of murder.

"Meepo like." The kobold smiled like an idiot as Jaryth's remaining burns melted away. Now the Whelp owed him.

"Thanks Meepo.. I feel much better now." He had damn well better. Meepo wasted a potion he stole with his own hands from the Whelp's sun-crazed god-kissing kobold-killing holy warrior and surrogate father figure on him.

Meepo moved in further as Jaryth looked into the flask. "Jaryth better now. Meepo make nice Jaryth...Jaryth make nice Meepo? Meepo and Jaryth not make nice before. Meepo want make nice now."

"I did not kill Rhea. I never have killed or tried to kill you, Jaryth. You made it clear you wish nothing from me, not healing, nor aid. Your decisions. " Burble looked to the others, trying to see where they stood. Jaryth lost interest in the conversation and pulled out his glowing sapphire to stare it. Maybe Meepo would grind it up and use it to flavor Rowland's blood.

Burble answered Lorn, "I may have killed her if I found her but I did not. I have nothing to hide in this manner. But if you doubt me, then piss off Lorn. Go look for yourself. You will see that her damned corpse has been dead at least for many hours and that my tracks just now seemed to be the only ones around. You want to consider me vermin, well then to the hells with you. Find your own healer and I will look for my own powers to heal myself. I have helped you quite a bit here and you have seemed ways to insult me. I do not ask you to like me, but treat me civilly if you wish me around. I gave what I found on here in full faith, and I have treated you as the same. Now what of your own words follower of Heironeous? Will you take up the sword against me then?" Burble took a careful step back. He stepped over and offered Sal healing, which the dwarf took.

"Have you no respect for the dead? I think you are more upset that you didn't get to do the dead yourself, then with what happened to Rhea. How dare you speak to her in such a manner...especially after such a great tragedy has befallen that poor, tormented soul." Lorn was aghast. He had this sort of lack wit shocked expression on his face Meepo found very fitting.

"Whoa!! Calm down now. No need for all of this! We're all in this together and it makes no sense for us to tear ourselves apart from within! Nobody is taking swords up against ANYONE!" Colvin bellowed. Meepo hoped the rats and goblins he drew killed him slowly.

"Oh, will everyone just shut up! Bickering will get us nowhere!" Jaryth yelled, exasperated. "Burlbe, no one thinks you're scum, we just don't trust you. You've given us very little cause to trust you. You heal us and then hold it over our heads like it's some grand trophy or charity that you've given us and demand us to repay you threefold for it." The boy leaned back obviously exhausted by all this talking, but still presses on. Meepo wished he'd just drop if this were so fatiguing to him. "Frankly, we know nothing of you, nor of anyone else, really. I've told you all about myself. What little there is to tell, after all, I'm only 10. But, you--and everyone else, for that matter-- have revealed nothing about their pasts. How can we trust each other if we don't know each other? No matter how awful your past is, it has to be brought out. Maybe then, we'll understand why Burble is callous and heartless, why Rowland is so chipper and happy, and even, why Embril was so cold and standoffish."

Meepo wanted to understand why the Whelp couldn't shut up. He wasted a potion for this?

"You ask for trust when you attack me fro what I do and believe in? You say that I hold my healing over your head Jaryth? Tell me, what have I ever asked you to do for the healing, except to end the insults and accusations. You were the one that have time and again basically called me scum and threatened me. I have saved your damn life twice, and put up quite a lot from you. Lorn I healed a lot as well, when Embrill fell on him.I was blessed with my powers of the Laughing one, but you have given me nothing to laugh about."

"As for my past, I was straight with the group. I am a thief and now a priest, and not ashamed of it. Look at my face and hair. That I learned from my duties. I am a city rat, and not ashamed of it. Damn, I even have my God for what he is. You told us all about who and what you are, but you have still had your tantrums when things did not go your way. "

"I come from Dyvers, far to the west, Had a tough childhood, but who has not, I learned to rely on myself first, and no others and you have panned out why that should be. I joined with this band in good faith, and have not hidden how I feel on a situation. What more do you want to know, eh? " " Now I have had enough. If you do not want to trust me, so be it Jaryth, I am tired of all that is happening. " Burble counterattacked, as though reasoning would work with the Idiot and the Whelp.

"Forget it. So, how are we going to get out of this place?" Jaryth asked, his mind once again losing its grip on a thought in midstream. Meepo wondered if he could time that and use it against the whelp.

Rowland saw a dire need to start in on his autobiography now. Meepo was thrilled. Why did dragonblooded humans have to talk? It was rude of a future drink to babble on so. "There isn't much to tell. I was a son to a woodsman and his faithful wife. One morning, about six years back, I befriended Dafydd here. The forest sorcerer learned of our unusual friendship and informed my parents that I was naturally attuned to the source of mystical power. I became Gwion's apprentice. I was a good learner and had a kind, knowledgeable master. And when I wasn't learning, I hunted, played, and visited with my friends. Llacheu was my best friend--I always had fun with him. When I learned all that Master Gwion could teach me, I said good-bye to my master, my family, and my friends and left to seek adventure and find my destiny."

"Llacheu was supposed to come with me, but he couldn't leave his ailing mother and his six younger sisters by themselves." Rowland paused, then added, "That's the biggest tragedy in my life, until I met all you guys. I miss Llacheu LOTS. But my mother and father, my brother and sister, and my master still live. My friends are healthy. I suppose I'm 'happy and chipper' because I've had a pretty good life, and I'm excited to be on an adventure. I guess. Don't know. That's just the way I've always been." He paused again, then added quietly, looking downcast, "Not that I don't mourn Rhea or Syl."

It was over? Praise Kurtulmak! The last thing Meepo wanted was to hear the finer points of Rowland's life.

Sal stepped in, in defense of Burble. "I'll tell you why we know it wasn't Burble that killed Rhea, because the oil and supplies were gone and he's offered to split up the cash. If Burble had killed her, he would have done it with much less... activity and eagerness. And no offense meant to my friend her, but I'm betting that Burble here would have a few marks on him as well. She was a very capable woman." Meepo thought Rhea exceptionally capable of running into the arms of her own killer, but he chose not to share that thought.

The dwarf turned then to Lorn, "While I've heard of your point of view, I can't agree with it. If the person can hold their own and contribute to the group, I'm willing to say that they belong. I don't care if they're male, female, Kobold or hidden in black robes. If they help more than they hinder the group, I say let's feed'em and move on." Did this mean Sal was in favor of killing Lorn and leaving him to the vultures? The Whelp too? Meepo could only dream.

Sal dug into one of his pockets and fished out some gold. He put a part of it back where he found it and tossed the rest to Bryant. "Either take some and pass it around or convince the others that you will carry theirs. With Rhea leaving, I've lost some confidence in having one person carry most of the gold. I'm going to attempt to carry a share on my body from here on out. I hope nobody has a problem with that?"

Excellent. The dwarf could build solidarity by uniting the group in its common greed. If Meepo participated, it would be one more way to worm himself into their minds as a member of the group and not an expendable hanger-on. Likewise, this could be a path to more unity of vision and general cohesiveness. Meepo could tolerate Lorn and Jaryth so long as they learned their places and obeyed orders. There would be orders to be given, of course. Meepo knew two candidates perfectly suited to command.

Sal was showing signs of irritation when he turned back to Burble. "As for leaving again, but perhaps you'd like to attend the people you'd put yourself in charge of getting back on their feet. I don't have a problem moving on, but some of those that are hurt may prefer to stay another day." Good. The dwarf subordinated his personal irritation at Burble for the interests of the group. Meepo could use this. If Burble did as asked, it would paint the halfling in a more positive light and would enhance the group's dependence on him.

Jaryth shrugged and then dropped to his haunches. "I'm for staying here another day. we can shovel the excrement out somewhere. Or bury it or something. I heard that in the desert people burn excrement instead of wood.... maybe we could do that here?" Jaryth's fascination with his leavings didn't surprise Meepo in the least.

Jaryth winced as he changed position. "Currently, I'm in no condition to do anything. I could fight, but I'd be dying not too long into the fight. I say that we've bitten far too much off than we can chew, and none of us are much good in these confined conditions. So, until the wounded are healed to at least fighting condition if not perfect health, and we have some idea of how we're going to deal with the marching and fighting order, I recommend that we sit tight." Nevermind that Meepo gave him one of his hard-earned potions to make him ready to fight.

That could be worrisome. The Whelp was speaking sensibly for once. But Meepo remembered that human whelps where still impressionable at his age. Maybe the lunatic saw something he wanted in Sal's speech. That could open him to being molded into a suitable servant. Meepo enjoyed the thought of Jaryth, years in the future, fawning over him and serving his every whim. There could be potential here.

"I am ready to fight," Lorn said lamely. Meepo hoped he would fight, and get only so far as to suffer an entertaining death. If it could be somehow arranged so he would fall on Embrill again, all the better.

"I'm sure you can. But, won't you be better able to serve Hieroneous and prove your devotion to him if you are fully rested?" Jaryth asked. Meepo was really regretting that potion. He wondered if he could cut open Jaryth's stomach and get it back. Having to wait through years of subtle influence campaigning with the Whelp was losing appeal very fast.

Burble ignored Jaryth, but kept his eye on Lorn as he replied to Sal. "I may have left, but you all were talking way too much and I was not about to listen to more of Jaryth and Lorn going at it on who did what with whom in the past. I also felt that Meepo and I could sneak a lot more then if we had a whole group of us. If you folks had come when I first asked, you would have seen all that I mentioned. If you doubt me, go above and look for yourself. I am tired of the insinuations and insults. Any that doubt me can damn well bugger off."

"Thanks Sal for that vote of confidence, guarded as it was and I am not insulted by your lack of faith in my skills. I will say that I think we should rest, just remember that we only have supplies in light for another day or maybe two if we ration the oil. Food we have for maybe 3 or 4 days."

"To take care of those hurt, well I said before I would. If Lorn wants to think so less of me though, well he can rest and heal himself or find some other priest if he wishes. Jaryth, if he can hold his tongue, I will help, as well as yourself Sal, myself, Meepo, Rowland and Bryant. Colvin and Rillith have yet to say for sure if they are staying with the group and want to throw their hat in the ring, and if so, I would ask what their skills and abilities are? We know nothing about them other then they were sent by Semmon. Rillith has hid herself through and through, and Colvin has smiled and used fancy words. You all know me, and what I am. And I have been faithful in helping the group when asked. if you do not care for that, then I will leave, with Meepo if he will come, alone if not."

"I agree with everyone keeping their own money, as I already took my share. I said I would not steal from the group and I have not. Rhea did."

"I'm sorry she didn't bother to throw down everything that belonged o you while she was fleeing for her life. For all you know, she might have been returning when she was killed." Lorn snapped back.

"Oh to hells with this! We're getting nowhere. fine. We all hold our own money. Fine. We'll all just say what we can do and leave it at that. Fine. We'll all just sit around not knowing who's going to stab whom in the back next." Jaryth barked out. Meepo thought that exactly that arrangement had worked out as well as might be expected of humans for quite some time now.

"Until I tell you otherwise, you only touch and enspell me when I ask it, not before and not later. If you do, friend Burble, I will be most upset. You don't want that. Ever. I don't trust you, and, until you give me reason to, I won't. I'll treat you as I would any other stranger." Meepo hoped Jaryth bled his life out on a cold dungeon floor with Burble standing right over him reminding him of that. He wasted a good potion on the Whelp.

The arguments petered out and Rhea's gold was divided. Thus the others met the acquaintance of the scent of blood and rotting gore. Jaryth took a single whiff and returned his gold to the unclaimed pile. Meepo hid a snicker.

Lorn's first encounter with the stench sent him careening out the door and to the keg from which the water beast had emerged. He noisily vomited into it for several moments. Maybe fishing the gold from Rhea's torso had a positive side after all.

Rowland gagged, but pocketed the money regardless. It must have been the dragonblood, granding him fortitude.

 

[Samnell]

XVI-The Cold Door

Wherein our hero revisits his past adventures.

With the gold as divided as the humans could stomach, the rest of the day passed uneventfully. There was much distrustful staring and Meepo ran through six or seven different plots in his mind, most involving creative and more importantly slow and painful ways for Jaryth and Lorn to die. Aside from nearly dying thanks to something the humans had done, it was a normal day for Meepo.

The humans were short on oil for their lanterns now that Rhea had died with most of their stores, so they'd decided to save what they could. That meant that they only had light when they absolutely must have it. Meepo didn't remember or care who thought up the rationing. He certainly didn't need some miniature sun burning in his face to see things. Watching the humans blundering about in the dark was an added bonus for him. Three times Lorn almost sat on Rillith.

When morning came again, Lorn's incessant prattle started up. "I say we have rested long enough. The mission has taken far longer than it should have. Two of our numbers have been brutalized by the fiends behind this, and we know not of Embrill's fate. I for one shall not let their death's go unadvenged. Let's find the fiends behind all this and complete our mission."

Meepo was quite content with not knowing Embrill's fate, unless it turned out to be slow and painful. Perhaps if Lorn, Jaryth, and Embrill could all share a slow and painful death Meepo might feel obliged to take notice. That would be wonderfully entertaining, he was sure. But alas, the kobold knew from experience that the humans would never be so accommodating to the needs of a mere kobold.

"Which of the fiends you talking about? Goblins? Belak? The kobolds? The rats? Or even the ones, whoever they were, that killed Rhea?" Burble asked. Meepo had almost forgotten that Yusdrayl told the humans about the Outcast who lived below.

Thinking back to past adventures, Meepo wondered what the goblins must have thought when they found their guardchamber's floor slick with blood and corpses of their fellows. Some of Rowland's precious dragonblood had fallen there too, but the fool was sure to produce more so long as he was kept alive.

"I doubt the kobolds are behind our troubles, since we are aiding them. The rats are not intelligent enough to be behind everything. The goblins are my best guess at the moment, but I fear what we have seen hints at a far greater power behind all this." Lorn doubted the kobolds were behind any of the group's troubles because the group was aiding them. That was the most hilarious thing Meepo had heard in weeks. It took all his resolve to keep from bursting into laughter. If Lorn knew half of what went through a proper kobold's mind he wouldn't rest until they were all slain.

Burble nodded. "And that is probably this Belak that Yusdrayl told us about. Look, shall we go off then, to either the other door in the entry room or the cold door? I tire of waiting here in this room.” So did Meepo. The room reeked of the humans' leavings.

After some discussion, but surprisingly less than normal, the humans agreed to first search beyond a door they hadn't yet opened at the base of a ruined tower. Meepo knew what they would find, but he hoped that by some twist of fate the impregnable dragon-carved door that he and a few other kobolds had discovered back when he was still keeper of dragons would come to life and eat Lorn. Maybe Jaryth too. A whelp that size would make a suitable dessert.

Reaching the wooden door that the humans had not yet ventured beyond, Jaryth finally cursed Meepo's ears with another dose of his prattle. "Should I try to pick that, or do you want to, Burble?" The whelp was surprisingly meek at the moment. He must be planning something.

Burble set at the door himself. "I got it lad. Just sit tight and hold your britches." The halfling poked and prodded for nearly half an hour before finally deeming the door safe to pass. Meepo could have told him it was safe right off, but the stench of human waste had soured his mood for the day and he was happy to watch Jaryth and Lorn wait impatiently.

Once he was done, Burble slowly opened the door and peered inside. Everything was as Meepo remembered it. The long, over-wide hallway still had the same crumbling walls and the far end was still fully demolished and looked out into the ravine beyond. Meepo wondered how often rats wandered by.

The west wall was, as before, in better shape and sported a stone door with a rearing dragon carved on it in relief. Meepo rather liked the carving and could imagine it darting out of the door to bite Lorn's head off quite easily. Of course, the loss of a head probably wouldn't inconvenience Lorn any more than losing the sun would Meepo.

Meepo was surprised to notice a keyhole in the dragon's open mouth he hadn't spotted before. He must have missed it when Ditno tripped on a rock and Meepo and Jfik went and poked him with their spears. A small smile split the kobold's snout. That was a fun time. Ditno bled for hours.

Rillith regarded the door and spoke her mind, "Hmmm....." Meepo was glad she added that. Such priceless insight.

Burble stalked down the hallway, stepping carefully across the floor and checking every step for hidden wires, trick stones, and whatever else he looked for when he pulled out his tools and started puttering around. One of these days Meepo would have to suggest that they just send Lorn into any unexplored area. If there were any traps, he was sure to find them. He found nothing on the floor and no dangers around the dragon-carved door either. Meepo was relieved. His friend was doing what was properly the job of a large, dumb human who no one would miss if he died. Alternatively, Meepo mused while he looked at Jaryth, a small, mad human who no one would miss if he died was an option.

Colvin, who had been tensed in an absurd post with his bow half-drawn suddenly relaxed, "WHEW!" he said as he wiped sweat from his brow. Meepo added him to the list of potential trap bait.

Burble set at the keyhole in the stone door, but he couldn't budge it. Meepo and his kobolds hadn't gotten it to open either. For once, though, the humans had stood in one place out in the open for near to an hour and nothing had attacked them yet. It was a pleasant change from their usual habit of attracting rats like a corpse attracted flies. Thinking of corpses Meepo remembered Rhea and his innards lurched a bit. He quickly soothed himself, though. Thoughts of roasting wolf setting his mouth to watering.

"Damn lock is too much for my abilities, We will indeed need the key that Yusdrayl had on her alter. Shall we head to the cold door all?" Yusdrayl's key. Meepo hadn't considered it before. Now he wished he'd thought of it when he still had Calcryx. Whatever this door was protecting must be important if it was secured so well Burble couldn't open it. It would have been a valuable weapon against the chieftain. It could still be a valuable weapon, but he'd have to keep it from the humans to ensure its proper use. There was slim chance of that.

"Should I try? I have some skill at this. Nothing like Burble, I'm not a full thief but I learned some skills." Jaryth asked in his typical, simpering tone. Of course Jaryth was nothing like Burble. Burble was a loyal, upstanding halfling that Meepo was proud to call friend. He was the sort that would sneak away from camp in the dark of the night to murder human holy men in their sleep and knock children senseless to keep them from waking and catching him in the act. Jaryth was the type who seized the legs of god-kissers and whined for their pleasure.

Lorn snorted, "The master thief shows his prowess once again."

Colvin groaned, "Oh gods, not again." Rillith winced. Meepo had his first nearly overwhelming urge to kill Lorn of the day. Could he have no peace? First goblins, then Embrill, now Lorn. It was getting so a kobold couldn't plot the deaths of those around him for his own selfish gain anymore.

"Think you can do better kiddo, go for it." Burble snorted back at Lorn as he turned away from the door. He must have meant to start for that cold door. Meepo had a bad feeling about that door. It had nearly killed Burble once and the halfling was willing to give it another chance. It looked to Meepo like a job more suited to Lorn or Jaryth than his scarred friend.

Rowland sighed and turned to Lorn. He spoke in a voice he clearly thought no one else could hear, "Please don't make trouble we don't need." Meepo wondered if Rowland would be asking fish not to swim and gnomes not to murder kobolds in their sleep next. Rillith was looking curiously at Lorn and Meepo wondered again what she was hiding under that hood.

"Ok, that's it! Lorn, when we get out of this, I'm going to introduce you to dramdath. It's a very nice plant. Makes all sorts of problems go away. I like to call it the "happy-feel-good plant. But, then again, I'm 10, so I can give things stupid names like that." Jaryth at first barked and then his tone drifted to a gratingly whimsical and thoughtless rambling. Meepo had noticed that despite Jaryth's declarations, stupidity was not reserved for children when it came to humans.

Then Jaryth shifted his attention again, back to the door. "Well, lemme take a looksee, maybe I can get it. Who knows? Chaos can work wonders. Can I use your tools? I kinda don't have mine. They're back at the guild..." Jaryth asked Burble.

"If you break them, I warn you, I will break your hands." Meepo looked forward to Jaryth breaking Burble's tools. Maybe he could help with the hand breaking. It had been too long since he was able to torture someone who deserved it as much as Jaryth.

"You have more than enough to replace them. And if you don't want to replace them with your lawful earnings, I'll buy ya a new set soon as I can. Ok?" Meepo wondered if human fingerbones could be worked into suitable thieving tools. It was a possibility worth exploring. The Whelp wanted to help, after all.

"No I do not think so. Kid I will just say this one more time. Drop the accusations. As for the tools, they were a gift of my Mother before she was killed. Hurt them at your peril." Burble hissed.

"On second thought. No, just give them back. I will be the only one that will use them I believe." Burble reconsidered a moment later. Meepo was disappointed that he wouldn't get to help break Jaryth's hands.

Jaryth had already turned to the door and ignored Burble. "No I said. I want them back and I do not want to debate the point. Hand them over Jaryth. Now." Maybe breaking hands wasn't out of the question after all.

"What accusations? I was joking. Honest! I'm sorry, I was trying to make a joke and lighten the mood a little. Sorry." He still wasn't really paying attention.

"Fine. Here you go." Jaryth handed the tools back roughly and stalked away. Meepo sighed. He'd been looking forward to feeling tiny bones snapping in his hands to the music of Jaryth's pained cries.

"Lets head out." Burble said, dismissing Jaryth. The group fell sullenly in behind the halfling and headed towards the cold door. Burble swept the floors and walls for traps as he went, poking and peering about as usual.

Within minutes, the group reached a familiar room. Meepo knew it best from his time waiting for death after Calcryx was taken. His rags still laid on the floor where he'd left them and he noticed that the jade dragon statuettes were gone from the altar. Had it been only five days since Worthless Druid prodded him out of those same rags?

Other things had changed as well. There were small pools of dried blood on the floor, along with shattered crossbow bolts and broken javelins. Goblins must have attacked again. Meepo drew his sword and hissed, "Goblins. Goblins do this."

"Oh my..." Colvin gasped on seeing the blood. He drew his bow and nocked an arrow. Sal drew his sword, once Thurston's, and peered about.

"For their deeds my friend we shall exact revenge. We shall pay them back a hundred fold, and their bodies will be left so that only the rats will enjoy them. Any idea how long ago this happened?" Meepo had that sickening warm feeling inside again after Burble's words.

"Meepo not know. Blood dry." He steeled himself and walked over to one of the room's many doors. He pounded twice on it. A moment later a voice called out in Draconic.

“Who is it? What do you want?” It was Ditno. Just the kobold Meepo didn't want. Ditno had nursed a grudge against Meepo ever since Meepo's spear accidentally nicked Ditno's groin several weeks ago when the two of them were exploring the room with the dragon-carved door. Meepo and the other kobolds with him at the time had great fun pummeling and stabbing Ditno in all manner of painful but non-lethal places. Ditno's disagreement was entirely unreasonable, almost human.

“It's Meepo. When did the goblins attack out here?” Might as well be direct about it.

“Meepo? Aren't you dead yet? Nevermind, I'll make sure you are.” Meepo heard the bolt on the door slide free and the door itself opened a bit.

“I came back with humans, big humans. There's no way to kill me unless you kill them too. You know. You were there when Yusdrayl sent me off with them.”

“Need humans to protect you now, Meepo? This is what has become of the Mighty Dragon Keeper? From lying in rags to consorting with humans. I think I'd kill myself rather than suffer the shame.” Ditno said pompously.

“At least I don't take my pleasure with gnome whores.” Meepo quickly changed his phrasing from full, proper Draconic to the kobold vulgate to confuse Rowland in case the fool was listening. He dropped into eerily even tones and looked intensely into Ditno's eyes. “We have brain worms in us, Ditno. We camped by a nest and they came for us while we slept. They prefer goblins, but if you don't tell me how long ago the goblins were here soon, they'll settle for you.”

Brain worms took over the minds of kobolds or anything else they could get their hands on. Meepo knew that when Ditno was a hatchling, his parents were infected with the worms in the Underdark and had spread the things to a quarter of the tribe before they were driven out. Ditno was only let live because the kobolds knew the worms didn't take a hatchling until it was at least three years old, but he'd been suspect all his life because of it. Until Meepo's disgrace, he'd been the favorite victim of the whole tribe. No one stood lower.

His bluff had the desired effect. Ditno recoiled and quickly told him that the goblins had attacked four sleeps ago. Meepo let him go, knowing if Ditno was fool enough to tell Yusdrayl his threat she'd kill him in an instant, assuming he was infected and trying to sneak into the tribe's good graces.

Meepo told the humans how long ago the attack was and Burble asked, ”Then we shall have to prepare carefully and keep an eye out for the goblins. Have they come back or been seen since then Meepo?" Meepo told him they hadn't.

Burble resolved to be on his guard and advised the others to do the same. It was just like humans that they had to be told. With that he opened up the next door along the group's route and they left kobold territory for the neglected part of the ruins that formed the back way into the goblin-held areas.

A few minutes more of careful advance and the group had returned once more to the familiar dragon-shaped fountain and cold-radiating door carved with skeletal dragons. Burble drew near to it and Meepo trailed a few feet behind. The burned halfling proffered a smiling mask of red silk and invoked his god, "Most Holy Olidammarra, guide me in this gamble that I take, I roll the dice to open the way. I ask you to channel the goodness of a good hand and let this roll the dice to come up the true score."

Meepo reasoned that gambling gods made more sense than sun gods. At least they spread their rewards randomly instead of deliberately to those most stupid who called on them. He shot a glance at Lorn. The armored fool was drawing his sword and readying himself, as were the others while Burble prayed.

As Burble finished his prayer the skeleton-carved door suddenly burst into blue light; silent and slowly pulsing. The door swung quietly open revealing a chamber beyond. Ten sarcophagi lined the walls, five to either side marching in a stone row to a small shrine of black stone. The shrine had a lone candle tipped with a dancing green flame upon it, as well as a small rolled scroll. Each sarcophagus was carved with the likeness of a thin figure with pointed ears and angled features, an elf.

Colvin goggled at the chamber and said, "Oh my!" His bow dipped a bit before he realized he'd let his guard down.

Rowland cleared his throat quietly, "I don't suppose anyone can determine if this tomb is a place of good or evil..." Typical. A human sees an elven burial ground and immediately asks if it's good or evil. As though it made any difference. Gnomes, elves, dwarves, and humans were all called 'good' but caused no end of trouble for decent kobolds. Likewise evil orcs, goblins, and others did just the same. This whole good business must be something their gods thought up.

"I have no talents in that manner Rowland, but so far there has been NOTHING good here in the rift." Burble replied. Meepo considered that a compliment. What humans called good seemed to have a habit of being stupid as well. Evil had at least the potential for intelligence.

"Perhaps..." Rillith murmured.

"This is not a good place to be." Jaryth observed.

Burble put away his mask and drew his bow. "I would say we should be very wary here folks. This set up just begs for some kind of undead to come up and I will ask that you keep your weapons handy. I do not have any more ability to challenge the dearth of life, and we would have to use our weapons to fight them. Let me try something here, I would rather not try to go in to check that shrine at this time myself, but rather then just ignore this place, let me see if I can rope that candle" Meepo's friend was pulling out his rope now.

That was wise enough. Meepo hoped the humans would be wise enough to listen to Burble. If they could only do that, there might be hope for them.

"The undead eh? Never faced them before." Colvin smiled at the thought. Meepo hoped that the undead killed him first.

"C'mon! What could be so bad? Let's either explore this place the right way, or if you'd rather not..." Colvin frowned. "...let's just leave it be totally. The candle will most likely still be here later. I mean it IS lit, which means someone's been here recently, yes?" He looked around the floor for tracks and found none.

"I am a paranoid thief Colvin and I am sure that something menacing lurks here. I will be happy if you want to go in and touch the graves or the grab the candle. Me I would rather wait and see. Do what you will archer, and I will do what I think is right. Undead I have not faced, but rats, goblins and woodies have been enough to show me that battle is not something to take lightly." More of Burble's wisdom that the humans would ignore, it was only a candle he wanted.

"Ok! I'll go in then, if someone wants to cover me. Anyone else feel like coming along?" Colvin grinned like an idiot.

"Me..." Rillith answered. She took a few steps forward and looked into the room closely.

"There, I now have a second. Any other takers?" Colvin grinned.

"Let's not touch that candle ok?" Jaryth whined. Meepo wanted it just to frustrate the whelp.

"Ok archer, go for it. Me, I will stay here until you have seen for yourself if it is clear or not. You're a lot more insane or innocent to expect not to get hurt, but as you will." Burble said. Meepo opted for considering Colvin stupid like all humans.

"Neither, just brave." Colvin winked.

"And I never expected not to get hurt. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? Besides, I've never heard of any musty old skeleton faster than my trusty bow here." He patted his bow.

"I've ventured many times already. I'm better covering you with my fingers." Rowland said as he poised his hands to work a spell.

"Good point Rowland. How can I fail with the great Kid Sorceror watching my back?" Colvin smiled again. Meepo hoped he lost some teeth at the very least to whatever he next faced.

"So no more takers then? Fine. C'mon Rillith, let's show this lot how a true dungeon-diver does it." Colvin motioned to the short, robed figure to start in. He and she took careful steps into the chamber, stopping after each footfall to look about before proceeding.

The two advanced all the way to the shrine without incident. "Umm, seems like it is ok for now. Want to search the alter there and that candle. Maybe even open up some of those caskets?" Burble suggested.

"See? Nothing to it!" Colvin scoffed and bent over to look at the candle. "Two steps ahead of you, my halfling holy- man." He called to Burble.

"As for the sarcophagi, I think with my shoulder still healing and all that someone with bigger biceps might be better at it. After all, one of those lids probably weighs more than I do!"

"Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you." Lorn suggested.

"Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this.

 

[Samnell]

XVII-When Elves Deserve to Die…Twice

Wherein Meepo is right again.

"Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this.

"Ok, but if anything moves, I'm outta here." Jaryth stepped forward. Meepo hoped he died in an entertaining manner.

Burble took a few tentative steps forward and Colvin moved a bit to the side to point out a hidden compartment he'd found on the altar. "Good job Colvin and nice spot. Now if I might step forward, how about letting me check the hidden compartment for any traps or trip wires on it, hmm?" Without waiting for an answer Burble strode in and did just that.

Rillith slowly entered the room behind Burble, and Meepo reluctantly followed. The short, hooded figure who'd yet to reveal her face to the party took small, deliberate steps as she gestured and chanted clear, strange words. She fell silent for a moment before saying, "Don't touch them.... They're magic... They're all magic..."

Meepo looked at her. "What's magic? Altar? Candle?" Anything magic could be a trap as easily as a treasure. Meepo remembered the fountain that spewed dragon water and made Rowland breathe fire.

"The whistle, the candle, and the scroll... they're magic... don't touch them." Rillith referred to the items on the altar. At least it wasn't the altar itself. Meepo had seen enough human god doings in the above-world, he didn't need yet more now that he was back out of the accursed sun. He bent over the altar to peer closely at the whistle, scroll, and candle, "Rillith sure?"

She had damned well better be. If it was the altar and it resurrected Thurston Meepo and Burble would have to kill him all over again.

"What kind of magic?" Jaryth asked tremulously. “Will it hurt us?” Nevermind us, will it hurt him? That was what Meepo wanted to know. Would it be slow? Could it hurt Lorn too? This magic had wonderful potential for constructive mayhem.

Rillith passed her hands close over each of the items. "Mmm... Protective magics..." she commented on the scroll. Meepo resolved to keep that one from Lorn and Jaryth. It would have better uses than saving their worthless lives. Saving his and Burble's worthless lives, for example.

"Ah.... Death magic..." That was the whistle. Rillith sounded amused. She thought death magic was funny. Meepo smiled to himself. This one might be mad, but this kind of madness had its uses.

"I... I can't tell. I don't know." Rillith sighed over the candle. Meepo wondered if perhaps its magic had to do with the dancing green flame burning on it without consuming the candle's wick or melting any wax. Really, and they said that upworlders studied to learn magic.

Jaryth walked over to the whistle. Meepo took a step back to keep from touching the mad whelp. He might be infectious. "Protective magic, hunh? Maybe... I could… um… test it for ya?"

Meepo gritted his teeth. No, don't waste the protection on him! Of all of them only Lorn deserves to die more! Meepo realized Jaryth was after the whistle. I suppose that he could test out the death magic, though. In fact, why not give it to him? As much as he'd like…

"DON'T!!!!" Rillith motioned to the whistle... "Are you prepared for the magics of death and the undead?" Meepo was especially prepared for them. Looking forward to them, even. He was sure they'd put on a good show as they slowly burned away Jaryth's soul over a lifetime while tiny morsels of his flesh were stripped away and fed to- Meepo shook himself out of his reverie. Now was not the time for daydreaming, however pleasant.

"OH!! In that case, here..." Jaryth seized the scroll instead. "Hmm what kind of protective magic? I wonder if the whistle wakes up the people in the sarcophagus, and the scroll protects you from them, and the candle lets you command them?"

As Jaryth's hand fell on the scroll, for a moment Meepo saw a strange web of glowing light melt into existence between the scroll, the altar, and the sarcophagi lining the walls. Sudden plumes of gray light rode the strands of the web, devouring it as they went and reached each sarcophagus in turn. Then Meepo blinked and it was gone.

Jaryth hardly finished his words before six of the sarcophagi burst open, their lids thrown aside to reveal four thin skeletons whose eyes glimmered with baleful motes of red light; tiny sparks of roiling hellfire. They strode out of their sarcophagi as two gaunt figures, flesh twisted and leathery burst out flanking the altar. Their teeth we sharply pointed, befitting a kobold even, and their hands twisted into claws. Long tongues rolled out of their mouths and flicked back and forth as they moved to join the skeletons, claws drawn up menacingly. Pointed ears were still visible on their heads. They were the only things worse than elves, undead elves.

The undead formed two neat lines along either side of the wall. Burble, Meepo, Jaryth, Rillith, and Colvin were nearly surrounded.

"YOU SAID THIS WAS PROTECTION MAGIC!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BLOODY FLAMING MAGE ARE YOU RILITH!!!!!!?" Jaryth howled. Despite the circumstances and the not at all trivial threat to his own life, Meepo had to choke back a laugh at the whelp's indignant shout in the face of the fate he'd brought on himself.

"The kind that will explain it to you, if you live to see another day..." Rillith said calmly, her owl taking flight and landing atop an idle sarcophagus.

Burble clawed for his weapons and yelled back, "Damn you Jaryth, We TOLD you not to touch anything yet. Hope you live through this so I can kick your arse in." Meepo was reminded of a kobold proverb: Never beat your hatchlings. Kill one of their clutchmates in front of them instead. They will respect you for it. If they do not, kill them. Jaryth had his chance. Now he had to die more than ever.

Meepo screamed at Jaryth as he drew his stolen goblin sword, not yet sure if he'd use it on live human or dead elf first. "Worthless boy woke dead things!"

"GYAAAAAAAAAHH!” Colvin screamed, a bit slow on the uptake. "Good job, kid..." he continued. "Looks like you flushed them out!" Meepo thought the humans might enjoy this. Colvin stepped back and nocked an arrow. "Yes, I think this one should stick!"

"Blame Rilith! She said it was a protective scroll! Protective scrolls don't do make skeletons come to life!" Jaryth protested.

"Unless, of course, the protective magic was what was keeping them in their tombs until you picked the scroll up. But hey, who's counting, right?" Colvin smiled. It was very worrying to Meepo that the humans thought this was a time to joke. For a moment he considered the possibility that Jaryth was the sanest of them.

"Oh shut up and fight kid. Next time just keep your hands to yourself till someone clears the damned room. This is the second time we have had to battle something you caused when if you had just ... never mind, Battle on people." Burble snarled.

Lorn called to Sal somewhere behind Meepo. The thought of having Lorn at his back worried the kobold greatly and he wasn't happy to be reminded of it. "Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you."

"Last time I did this..." Sal grumbled. Jaryth conjured his ghostly spider and scurried up the wall to the ceiling as Sal trailed off. Colvin fells back and drew a bead on one of the two undead still sheathed in some semblance of flesh. Meepo thought those two the most dangerous himself. The archer's shot missed and in making it he almost took a raking blow to the arm from the skeleton to his side. Meepo was vaguely disappointed.

"What? I missed? Nonononono....uh uh. I. Do. Not. MISS!" Colvin protested. Meepo thought Colvin could benefit from a closer relationship with reality. All the humans could, really.

An arrow hit another skeleton, shot from behind Meepo. His heart leaped into his throat as he realized that the humans were firing into the fray. He knew all too well that they weren't above hitting their own as they tried to kill their foes. Meepo may have put an arrow into Embrill's back once himself, but Embrill was just another foe to him.

Lorn came diving into the fray with his rapier in hand, striking at another skeleton. Meepo was glad the human had changed over from a proper sword to a glorified needle. He'd die faster that way.

Burble somersaulted out of the fray, falling back into one of the corners of the room and invoked his god. Meepo felt power fill the room for a moment, laughing in the shadows. The undead were unmoved, save for one still clad in withered flesh. It looked straight into Burble's eyes and laughed, a hellish dry cackle that saw its overlong tongue falling out of its mouth past a row of pointed teeth.

With Burble in the corner, Meepo realized he was exposed. He fell back himself and drew his crossbow. Shoving a bolt home, he began looking for a shot that stood a fair chance of accidentally hitting Lorn or Jaryth. Sal charged past him and felled a skeleton with a single blow. That dwarf had his uses. It was no wonder Burble kept him around.

An arcane bolt streaked over his shoulder and blew apart another skeleton's ribcage. Rowland had his uses too, though clearly the most important and valuable purpose he could serve would be in giving over the power of his blood. Meepo looked forward to that day.

Nearly surrounded by a wall of undead next to the altar, Rillith was twice torn by one of the long-tongued undead and fell to the floor. Her blood ran red across the cold stone. She fell without even a twitch and her assailant ducked down. It came up with a stain of crimson on its lips and blood dripping from its tongue. Rillith's owl swooped down shrieking its rage at her attacker.

"RILLITH!! GET AWAY FROM HER YOU ROTTING MEATBAG!!" Colvin screamed.

"Hey Sal! You go to his left, I'll take his right. Let's hit this skeleton from both sides!" Meepo wondered how foolish Sal would have to be to follow Lorn's tactical advice.

Burble yelled at Colvin to stop trying to use his bow when the enemy was in arm's reach. Of course the wisdom was lost on a human, who insisted, "Trust me, it's better this way." Meepo would trust Colvin as far as he could throw the archer.

 

[Rel]

Hey, Samnell, any idea what happened to Cezmail? He kinda disappeared and since he was the reader of so many story hours, it didn't seem like him to do that. I hope everything is ok with him.

 

[Samnell]

Rel, Charlie's ok. He's just got some RL problems that have been keeping him away.

 

[Rel]

Thanks for the reply. Please send him my regards and tell him I hope he can return to the Story Hours soon.