I haven't read the intervening thread, so I'm sorry if this has all be shouted at the OP already...
There is nothing quite like introducing two new players to 5th Edition and having their pregenerated characters die in the surprise round of the 1st encounter without getting to take any actions.
Try seeing that happen to a player who'd spent /hours/ building her character. That's what happened in the Cult of Chaos playtest I ran. Well, except it wasn't a surprise round, the enemy (actually a mind-controlled ally) just won initiative in the first round, and *pop*. Ironically, the character died because she came up second in the initiative order and bled out before anyone could help her.
I didn't complain as much as a lot of other folks about the subsequent changes to the dying rules.
And, yeah, had it been new players introduced to the current game, rather than experienced ones doing playtesting, I'd've fudged that corner-case result in a heartbeat, without the players even being aware of it.
No I will not start a campaign at 3rd level.
No I will not fudge numbers.
No I will not play monsters stupidly.
If you're not doing at least 2 out of 3 of those, you're not running "real D&D."
No I will not award Clerics with bonus actions to keep allies alive.
That is one thing I specifically asked. I asked for a higher starting hit point variant. ..was denied.
What did you do before 2008? Or did you start with 4e?
Anyway, just start at 3rd. 3rd /is/ first. Think of it as a code. Subtract two levels from all the tables if it makes you feel better.
Don't drive players away from the hobby. It's our job as experienced DMs to make the current ed palatable to new players, however much we may need to 'fudge' things (and DMs have always needed to fudge things). Our hobby is tiny, obscure, and now it has MMOs and social media to compete with. We cannot afford to have anyone drive away potential players out of pique at the game not being designed exactly as they like. When you run for a new player, you are the public face of D&D. Wear a mask if you have to, but make it look good.