"The orc looses its arrow. At the last moment, Elspeth notices the incoming projectile and twists to evade, but too late to avoid it entirely. The arrow punches through her armour, grazing Elspeth, but not doing serious harm."
The closest equiavlent in your poll is the second one, but I don't care for the phrasing, which would seem to minimise the impact or play it for laughs. Of course, that might not have been your intention.
But the way I handle it is that any hit, even for 1hp of damage, represents some actual contact. However, a greater amount of damage does not necessarily equate to more damage (whether that "greater amount" is in terms of the absolute value, 50hp vs 3hp, or as a percentage of the whole, that is, whether Elspeth has 16hp total or 160). The only attack that gets narrated as having some significant effect is the one that kills the character.
(This also has the advantage that it makes things like poison nice and consistent - if 1hp represents at least a nick, that gives a vector for the poison to enter; if DR or other effects reduce the damage to 0 then the poison is also negated. FWIW, 3.5e is my edition of choice.)