For a second Chance feels as if the ground under her feet has opened up, and she's falling...falling... She sways with that sudden vertigo and has to close her eyes. She almost drops the gun, but manages to click the safety back on and tuck it back into her pocket on sheer muscle-memory. Excuses and evasions course like a river through her mind.
She hadn't pulled the trigger. There was no way to know if her spell had caused his death. Law had done something too. Maybe it was for the best; he'd tried to kill Agnasci. What if he'd Awakened and used that power to go on a rampage...or worse, to accumulate even MORE power and become some kind of malevolent equivalent of Penrose?
Like any good lie, they were all true.
But the real truth was that she'd killed a man tonight. Not intending to, but certainly not intending him well either. And not alone, but guilt wasn't like water; it didn't lessen just because you split it up. And maybe he'd deserved it, or maybe it was for the best in the long run...that wasn't for her to know. In the end she was only responsible for one thing; she'd used Fate as a weapon against a man, and then he'd died. That was on her, and there was no amount of wiggling that'd change it.
She brought her sleeve up and wiped it across her eyes. It had been such a little spell. Chance could see now how that was a hopelessly naive viewpoint, like someone scoffing at a little .22 pistol. Any gun could kill a man, if you hit him right. You could never forget that, if you wanted to wield that weapon responsibly.
How strange that she took that lesson so easily to heart, but had to learn the same for commanding the hidden powers of the universe the hard way.
Taking care not to step in any blood, Chance went over to where Mad Dog had fallen, hesitated, then stooped down to pick up the little carving. It had a smear of his blood on it, but she didn't wipe it off. That blood was important. This would be a reminder for her of this moment, and this act, and who had paid what price for her carelessness.
It wouldn't bring him back, but it was the best she could do.
Stuffing her hands back into her hoody's pockets, Chance went back towards Law's car and the others.
She hadn't pulled the trigger. There was no way to know if her spell had caused his death. Law had done something too. Maybe it was for the best; he'd tried to kill Agnasci. What if he'd Awakened and used that power to go on a rampage...or worse, to accumulate even MORE power and become some kind of malevolent equivalent of Penrose?
Like any good lie, they were all true.
But the real truth was that she'd killed a man tonight. Not intending to, but certainly not intending him well either. And not alone, but guilt wasn't like water; it didn't lessen just because you split it up. And maybe he'd deserved it, or maybe it was for the best in the long run...that wasn't for her to know. In the end she was only responsible for one thing; she'd used Fate as a weapon against a man, and then he'd died. That was on her, and there was no amount of wiggling that'd change it.
She brought her sleeve up and wiped it across her eyes. It had been such a little spell. Chance could see now how that was a hopelessly naive viewpoint, like someone scoffing at a little .22 pistol. Any gun could kill a man, if you hit him right. You could never forget that, if you wanted to wield that weapon responsibly.
How strange that she took that lesson so easily to heart, but had to learn the same for commanding the hidden powers of the universe the hard way.
Taking care not to step in any blood, Chance went over to where Mad Dog had fallen, hesitated, then stooped down to pick up the little carving. It had a smear of his blood on it, but she didn't wipe it off. That blood was important. This would be a reminder for her of this moment, and this act, and who had paid what price for her carelessness.
It wouldn't bring him back, but it was the best she could do.
Stuffing her hands back into her hoody's pockets, Chance went back towards Law's car and the others.