Need help/advice on Group frustration...

[Anavel Gato]

Hey everyone,

I am hoping you all can help me with this dilemma I find myself in. I have recently grown rather bored and disgruntled with my D&D group. We meet on sundays for what is supposed be a few hours beginning play at 1 and ending around 5 or so. Lately though people haven't been showing up until 2 and we've been playing later, not a huge deal. However, this is just one of many problems that I see with our group. Everyone knows we play on sunday yet we often have people scheduling things for that day, again no big deal. However, one of these people is the one who originally started the group and last year was unable to play most times because he had moved (he has since moved back). I can understand a person has work or something that is a can't miss on a sunday or they have a lot of schoolwork. But anymore when we do meet it really has not been fun. I've put alot of work into stringing a large story together that would change our setting and allow them to give more input to the world and how we play. So, of the group have no idea what is going on and we have been at this for at least a year now. A month or so ago, I was able to be a player that was nice. I had fun, but it was annoying because even though we had another dm people looked at me for rule descions if the dm, that is annoying for me who just wants to play and for the dm who now is being undermined. I also, got together with another group member one day a few weeks back were we used one of our own groups, seperate from the sunday group and played a module. He dm'ed and had been psyched about this module. It was terrible. We really didn't even finish it to the nth degree, we did what we needed to and left. He had read this module a month ago or so and was convinced he was prepared, he wasn't and I think that is what made it so bad. After that experience and recently people not being able to make it and all I have become really frustrated with even thinking about playing.

I guess what I am asking for is advice to get me past this "burn out." Or a way to deal with my frustration. I mean I used to love to play and dm, right now, I could careless, I keep trying to get people to play and they always have a reason why they can't...some valid others not so valid....

 

[Steverooo]

"Sounds" to me like you ALL need a break! So tell them you're taking a month off (or whatever), and then don't show up. No one will be looking to you for DM rulings, and the rest can play or not, as they choose.

When you're rested and ready, you can let them know, and see if anyone still wants to play.

 

[Lela]

I completely agree with Steverooo. You're burned out and need a break. If, when you come back, it doesn't work out then go to your local gaming shop and see about trying out someone else's game for a while.

It sound like you're expiencing something that's dangerous for everyone (gamers and non-gamers alike). The thing you do to relieve stress has become stressful itself. Whatever caused it, you need to temporarally find something else to take the edge off.

 

[Orias]

You could also find another group & another game. I find that sometimes I just need to take time off from the current game or system I am playing to really appreciate what I liked about the others, or I need to get "pumped" for a specific type of game by being in the mood to read those sort of books & see those sorts of movies.

 

[ES2]

Taking a break is a decent idea, and it can work for the 'burned out' GM. However, be careful the break doesn't become permanent, which is what happened to me when I was burned out a year ago.

I was running a game, which started fine but the last month was just hell. Roleplaying games are supposed to be fun, right? My group was doing the same things it sounds like...showing up late when they know what time to meet, playing later than we wanted to to try to get in as much gaming as possible...players talking about other things more and more during the game, disrupting it (especially during combat) and ruining the flow of the game...so I decided that I wanted to take a break, and we all agreed on two weeks.

Three weeks later, they decided that they started a game without me, didn't ask if I wanted to play, and told me to, pardon the expression, f**k off (I know cussing isn't really allowed, but in this case there is no other way to say what happened). Needless to say, why they did this, they never explained. Not once, so communicate with your players and make sure they understand why you feel the way you feel. Some people just take things the wrong way and never get over it.

As far as how you are feeling, I know how you feel.

 

[Marimmar@Home]

True, you just need a break from gaming. Do some other stuff on sundays like bicycle tours or going to the cinema. It really helps doing stuff with the people you game with to
a) reduce the amount of out of game chatter
b) become better friends and thus be more tolerant to each other.

My group needed to take a break for a few years to return to gaming. Don't let it get that far.

~Marimmar

 

[Zappo]

I second (third? fourth? umm...) the suggestion of taking a break of at least one month. It worked for me when I had DM burnout; I've been a player exclusively for three, four months and now I enjoy DMing again.

 

[Anavel Gato]

I agree a break would probably be well advised. The only thing I worry about is becoming to comfortable with watching football and doing my reading for class on sundays that gaming may become just a fleeting memory. The other downside is 2 of the group are my friends from college and this is about the only time we get to hang out with the schedules we all have.

I agree though, a break and then perhaps come back as just a player would be wonderful...

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

How often do you meet? Is it every Sunday?

Would it be possible to make it every other Sunday? Or change the date from Friday, Saturday or Sunday, every other week?

The wya my group does things is we play every other week on Saturday whenever possible. If someone can't make a day, we try to use a different day that weekend. If that won't work, we make it the following week.


If that's not possible for you & your group, I agree with trying to find a different group that is more stable and able to suit your needs. Or taking a break from this group.

 

[mooby]

Stick it back to them. The game is supposed to start at 1, but doesn't until 2? Show up at 3 next week.

Either that, or start giving negative XP for the late people.