It's Not Easy to Find a Gaming Group

[humble minion]

I've had a regular group I've been playing with (with some multi-year hiatuses, admittedly) since the release of 3rd ed. We got together after answering a 'looking for group' ad on usenet in 2000, and despite the dropout of one player (and his abrupt disappearance from our lives owing several of us non-trivial amounts of money...) we've been a pretty functional group ever since. We just lucked out I guess. We have our differences in RP style, but we can find a happy medium that we all enjoy. We started out out in person, restarted online during covid lockdowns, and have stayed that way given the issues of distance, family commitments, and everyday life.

More recently, I've been looking for another group in addition. I assembled one from a posting in my local LFG facebook group, and we've been meeting in person at my place. This one, I'm a bit less satisfied with. The game style isn't really what I look for, but given I wasn't volunteering to DM, I felt it would be a bit presumptuous of me to be interviewing/vetting people and setting rules, and then turning around and dobbing in someone else to run the game to my taste. And since I let the group use my home wi-fi during sessions, all of a sudden I'm getting served 'personalised' FB ads and group recommendations etc of a nature that i find deeply distasteful. So I'm not sure my tenure in that group is going to be a long one. But then I have to look for another group again, and this group are active in the FB LFG community, and will likely be a bit hurt if I make excuses to leave this game and then turn up looking for another one right off the bat.

On the decision between online and tabletop, honestly, I'm torn. Online has many advantages (especially given where i live, it opens up a much bigger player base), but for a new game with a new group I think in-person helps you to get to know people better more quickly. Of course, I'm saying this from the position of a large able-bodied man with a large dog, there's plenty of people who might have very legit safety concerns about a meetup with strangers at a strangers' house (or one's own house, for that matter!)

 

[Jd Smith1]

I don't have much of a vetting process. I should probably think of one.

I run long-term campaigns, and I don't suffer fools gladly. I know I come across as a kindly, loveable sort here, and that might be shocking, but there it is.

 

[Jd Smith1]

Of course, I'm saying this from the position of a large able-bodied man with a large dog, there's plenty of people who might have very legit safety concerns about a meetup with strangers at a strangers' house (or one's own house, for that matter!)

That's cute.

My last F2F group, for twenty-odd years, met in a room whose walls were lined with rifle racks.

 

[R_J_K75]

I find the older I get the harder it is to find people to game with or keep a group together. I've been playing with the same group of people on and off for the last 8-10 years. They're all friends of mine so there's no need to screen anyone or worry about offending somebody. I made a decision that I'm no longer interested in playing with strangers these days, not worth the scheduling difficulties, people not showing up, cancelling last minute or personality conflicts. Our group is pretty consistent, but we take breaks occasionally to avoid burnout. We usually take a break from Thanksgiving through New Years and this summer we decided to take a break until fall. I don't like playing online so if my current group split up, I probably won't actively look for another group.

 

[AnotherGuy]

We f-2-f but I'm fortunate I think to live in a city where everyone could get to me (as I always host) within half-an-hour or less - and we usually play weekends for sessions of 5 hours or more. I usually provide the food (cooked, it is cheaper) and coffee, while everyone else provides snacks, refreshments, dessert.
We did have an issue with a player arriving late, but the table (the rest of the players) had an all out-chat with him and its remedied the issue.

We were down 3 players at one stage (having lost 2 due to a character clash and another due to life), but through referrals and what not its back to 5 solid players + DM again. It is not easy filling the ranks again, and I never thought I would get a full house again. I was just fortunate.

We did a little online play during lockdowns and I discovered some perks with that style of play.
No cooking required, no clean-up necessary and you can get a lot more done in a shorter space of time. It also allows you to play more frequently which requires you as a DM to prep routinely.

My table prefers the meetup, which also seconds as a social amongst this crowd so for now that is what we are sticking to.

 

[Divine2021]

Social validation and engagement?

I don't bother with video, just audio. And Roll20, of course.

I’m glad that you find that this works for you. It does not work for me. I find it a miserable process, and so don’t pursue it.

 

[Jd Smith1]

I’m glad that you find that this works for you. It does not work for me. I find it a miserable process, and so don’t pursue it.

I believe there is a sharp divide between the people in this hobby who place a high value on the social contact inherent to the game, and people who do not. The latter thrive in the online venue.

 

[Divine2021]

I believe there is a sharp divide between the people in this hobby who place a high value on the social contact inherent to the game, and people who do not. The latter thrive in the online venue.

Ok. How many times do I need to say I’m glad it works for you? I am legitimately happy you take joy out of playing online. I don’t. You keep quoting me while I keep trying to move past this conversation. I’m glad you have found a way to play RPGs in manner that is meaningful to you even if it doesn’t float my boat.

 

[Jd Smith1]

Ok. How many times do I need to say I’m glad it works for you? I am legitimately happy you take joy out of playing online. I don’t. You keep quoting me while I keep trying to move past this conversation. I’m glad you have found a way to play RPGs in manner that is meaningful to you even if it doesn’t float my boat.

Steady, friend. You don't have to reply; this isn't about you. I was just making an observation about how gamers split in regards to online, and it was a natural outgrowth of the conversation.

 

[pogre]

I used to take a decent group for granted. I too prefer face-to-face, although I do run a short (2 hours) weekly session online for friends across the country. My face-to-face group in 4 hours every Sunday. I have six fairly steady players and eight total - we almost always have at least five at the table. I dread having to make a new group some day.

Currently, I have some players driving in from a distance - one three hours away. They have been doing it for years and I really appreciate their effort. That is a testament of how hard it is to find groups too.

My youngest son is getting ready for his senior year of high school and my oldest son is getting more and more travel obligations with work. Next year I will probably add a player or two - my method has always been to just bring players in with the understanding if it does not work out I will ask them to leave the campaign.

I started the process of looking for folks, but I am learning that playing every Sunday for four hours is just too big of a commitment for many folks. I vastly prefer a weekly game, but I may have to revise this in the future - we'll see.